TV problems - DH's attitude

This is the beginning of coersive control.
He is clearly afraid of new technology. Nothing wrong with that many of us are. However, you have a right to exercise your wish to use your part of the joint subscriptions, or not, using the new gadget. I suggest that you get someone in to sort out the situation and write down the instructions. The next move would be to get an equally good TV to use in a different room. Holding up your hand with palm facing towards him and saying "No, this is unacceptable" is a very powerful psychological statement, it cannot be misunderstood. It will also shake him to his core. Then you get to say what you really want.

TV apart I think it’s a bit sad that as a couple you are saying I paid for half and he is doing this and I don’t like it. Surely you buy a television, get someone who knows to set it up properly, throw away the old remote and enjoy the benefits of your new TV and talk to each other about channel choices or have two TVs - a his and hers in different rooms if you clash.

I think you husband is wrong and just doesn’t understand how to use the new TV

I’m pretty sure on the smart TV option you can get all the channels and apps you need

We have two smart TVs and watch all the things you mention It just has to be organised and set up properly x

Good luck

lovebeigecardigans1955, your tv licence covers all tv's in the household so you can have 5 in every room if you want to!

Trisha 57 You don't have to buy a new tv, if the worst came to the worst, you could buy a NOWTV stick and use the remote that comes with that to access the sport. However, a new Smart tv should have NOWTV accessed through the APPS so it shouldn't be too difficult to set up, you just need to input the account details once you have downloaded it.

I am quite tech savvy but I must admit that our new tv has taken me a bit of a while to get my head around. Perhaps your husband just needs someone to set up the tv with the new remote and then he can write down how to access the channels he wants.

I am amazed that this has gone to three pages! Lots of posters watching different TVs - must be a common problem! Just to be clear, he doesn't control what we watch and when, just HOW we watch it! Because NowTV isn't an installed app on our TV as it isn't compatible, we watch everything via the TalkTalk box, which gives an inferior picture (although still very good, not as good as if we viewed via the TV itself). He does watch his football when it is on, and also some tennis, but it's the principle that's bugging me most, not what he watches. Anyway, I think I may have solved the problem, with a little help from my Gransnet friends, by ordering a NowTV stick for his birthday and insisting that it is plugged in! The payment for the subscription to NowTV is another issue, but not the main one. I'm dealing with that by reducing the amount I pay into our joint bills account by precisely half the cost of NowTV.........

You only need one tv license no matter how many tellys you have. x

I don’t think you are being unreasonable but I do think you should stand your ground. Why pay half for something that you can’t use?

Trisha57

Aaaaaand......... I've ordered it!!!

Thank you so much to all those who have commented and helped me make up my mind. StatenIsland, I now know a million times more about Smart TVs and thingummy sticks than I did yesterday!

Trisha, Excellent news. I hope the NOW Smart stick resolves the problem and you can finally start to enjoy your new TV and all its features. Do report back and let us know how you get on.

It’s get a grip time Trish. Irritating and non instinctive as it is you can do it. Now is definitely included in your smart TVs. I haven’t even got a smart TV but use a kindle dongle with Alexa and have recently unsubscribed from Now as I dip in and out for films... expensive). Husband would need it for sky sport. Don’t you pay for it. It’s a great feeling when you can do it yourself men really haven’t got a tech y brain any more than you have a cake baking one..

If the old remote has packed up, can’t you at least use the new remote until you get a new old type one, as presumably he can’t watch the channels he wants for football at the moment anyway.You never know he might like the better picture and not want to go back to the old one? Sorry if I have missed something, or repeated what has already been discussed, I haven’t read the full thread, and am not very tech savvy! You are not being unreasonable btw.

You are being perfectly reasonable. I would change the settings to how you want them. He will have to change them back for his stuff. I actually don’t think he knows what he is doing. We watch on various platforms and I have a 3 way adapter plugged in the HDMI slot. Your new tv should already have more than one slot.

He wants it all his own way doesn`t he. I would refuse to pay half the subscriptions and use the money to buy my own TV. I know you paid half for this new one but he isnt going to `allow` you watch it as you want to.

Speak to your son in law .again about it. Those people who programme things ate usually very good at sorting out our problems with technology. I know my Son in law is.

It sounds as if you need someone to set it up for you, also its a good idea to have his and hers TV. Then you can both watch what you want. He used to have his TV up in the bedroom, did away with him saying " you're not watching this rubbish are you".

No I don’t think you are being unreasonable. We put our old Tv in another room so that either one of us can watch something else in there. You really need a good local TV guy. Ours is the best. DH thinks he can do it himself but at the end of the day the TV guy is worth every penny and nobody is left feeling resentful.

I swear tvs would have to contribute to half the worlds divorces.
We have one tv and basically my husband watches what he wants on it, I have my ipad, a set of headphones and subscriptions to Netflix and prime.
My advice, get another tv

Do just look at how it is set up - I am sure most of the issues can be overcome. If that fails - as someone else said do check out the source button to see if changing from HDMI to TV or visa versa allows you to access what you need. Keep trying!

I'm a woman and love football, I'd hate not being able to watch it. It's not just a man thing!
My main confusion in all this is the my money, his money thing which I find very odd.

I would stop paying my half and get my own tellie. I I’m so grateful that neither of my husbands wanted to watch sport of any kind on the tv. We have a friend who watches football, rugby, golf and American baseball and then complains about the cost of Sky Sport.

Polarbear2

I’m thinking he’s possibly a typical male who doesn’t really understand the way the new tv/remote works so is using the old one to cover his lack of knowledge. My OH reckons to be good at tech but is actually really rubbish. He doesn’t read instructions properly. Am sure there are other reasons and no you’re not being unreasonable- but the fragile male ego could be a factor.

Polarbear2 seems to me to have hit the nail on the head!

Has to be a second tv set up for his sports.

I have a new smart tv, and have an app for NOW TV on it - I don't subscribe to it but I do to Netflix . As others have said you need to Google your TV model and find out how to add apps to it, I would be very surprised if you can't. And no, you are not being unreasonable, your husband is.

You should definitely be able to get Now TV. If it's not pre-installed, a stick or downloading an app should do it as you've discovered.
Your husband may be reluctant to admit he doesn't have the know-how to set it up and that's led to his selfish behaviour.
If he's being like this in other aspects of your life, however, you probably need to tackle it. Maybe once the TV issue is resolved, you need to work out how to discuss equality, sharing etc.
I'm not trying to be negative or suggest looking for problems, just commenting as someone who has been with a selfish partner in the past and you do need to guard against controlling behaviour.
My DH will sit and watch The Great British Sewing Bee with me ( and even select it if I forget) and I will watch Mega Machines or YouTube videos of engineers taking things to bits ( not all the time, of course) just so we can share each other's interests. I know that's probably a step too far for many!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Have you asked your SIL as he seems to be tech savvy?

Because your Smart TV is connected to the Internet all you have to do is download the NOW TV app, no need for a stick! That's the whole point really.
As for the problem of your DH not 'allowing' you to watch your favourite programmes then I'd suggest stop paying half the subscriptions. If DH wants it all to himself then he has to pay for it all!