Neighbours constantly asking for things

My goodness cossy you have been very good about this. I’d of blown!

Don’t be so amicable be a little bit firmer and they’ll get the message.

Do they have any family Cossy?

You have all my sympathies!

My husband (stupidly) befriended a neighbour down the road.

She’s in her sixties, as is her husband, both very similar ages to us, my husband is the oldest.

Four years ago he started off by just assisting her with a little shopping, now, it’s every day, and all kinds of other chores and favours and the other day I discovered she owes him £150 and she asked him to “lend” her £300!!

I went nuts (her husband recent had serious stroke and has had to give up work) we didn’t “lend” her the money but she’s still on at him to do this that and the other and she rings him every day! (Goodness only knows why he gave her his number!) Their washing machine broke and I did four lots of washing and drying for them recently and she had the cheek to complain it wasn’t done quickly enough!

If he ignores her calls she turns up at our front door, with her dog, which sets off our dogs, and if he’s not in she gets very short shrugs from me!

She rings him when we are away l, even when he’s told her he’s away, and my husband thinks I’m the unreasonable one.

I’m so close to marching down to her house to give her a piece of my mind!

How are things with your neighbours now, nellgwynne?

biglouis,
that's hilarious! 😆

Neighbours can be really cheeky about skips.

When I bought this house a few years back I had the kitchen and bathroom replaced so had to hire a skip. I have a drive with lockable gates so thought this skip on my land would be safe from cheeky neighbours dumping stuff in it. One day I found half a dozen bin bags - some of which had landed in the skip and others on my gatden. One of my CF neighbours had simply thrown them over the fence, aiming at the skip. However one of the workmen had arrived early and was sitting in his van outside, waiting for me to open the gate. The neighbour didnt notice him but the workman knew exactly where the bags had come from. Later when he returned from work said neighbour was greeted by all 6 bags dumped back on his doorstep - some split and leaking out waste all over his step.

If he had come round in a suitably humble manner and asked I would probably have let him dump the stuff in the skip. Lets just say it never happened again.

I had this when we moved into bungalow 8yeats ago.
The elderly couple seemed nice at first...in all fairness the old guy was lovely but he had a devil of a time with his wife.
She rang us several times in the night because he'd fallen out of bed.
She fell over quite a lot and we always seemed to be there to help but came to a head when she fell in the garden and I wasn't in . She was mightily offended that I should dare to have a private life.
The last straw was went she wanted me to physically unblock her toilet...

Where I lived before here, I would feed both sides cats, not a problem, till I had just had my arm plastered after breaking my wrist very badly. Saw my neighbour outside and she said sorry you've broken your arm, can you feed my cat for the week? I pointed out I wouldn't be able to open the tins and she replied, no problem, I have pouches that are easy to open I feed the cat and was rewarded by it biting my good hand quite badly!

Looks like an Ooops from me too.

High fences build good neighbours

I did have a problem with my elderly neighbour when I first moved in. I had to point out that I was a pensioner too. Every day he'd ask my adult son to do jobs for him, some very heavy, some dame right dangerous, the dangerous one I stepped in and stopped. We had tons of jobs to do ourselves, having just moved in, building a big shed being one.

He even asked my son to give him my sleepers I'd just put down to complete my rockery garden at the top of our land. I dashed up there and said "No, you can't, you've watched me building this garden all week!" I then told him no more jobs. We didn't speak for a few weeks/months, but then made up and was friendly again.

Astitchintime

Oooops, just noticed how old this thread is - that'll teach me to concentrate

Ooops, me too!

nellgwynne

Thank you all so much for your replies! I really do appreciate it. I showed to my husband and it's helped to strengthen our resolve to just say no to the neighbours. I think we'd both wanted to have a nice cosy relationship with our neighbours, but if it means being taken advantage of, then no way! Thanks to you of you, I love your answers!

Excellent. Let us know how things go. It would be lovely if you do eventually have a nice cosy relationship with them, but that has to be two way and this isn't.

I had to check the date when I spotted EllanVannin’s name posting.
😢

I think the problem here is the shared gate.. Is there any way you can erect a fence and perhaps even have your own gate? I would find it totally unacceptable to have neighbours wandering into my garden.. My close neighbours have very occasionally invited me in for coffee, and we have exchanged information regarding tradesmen.. we give little christmas presents but we all maintain boundaries..

this is very different from when I was young with a child and we all virtually lived in each others houses.. a different place and time..

We used to look after our neighbours dog at our house 2 - 4 times a week while he went shopping etc.

Not once did he ask if we needed anything while he was out shopping even though he knew my DH was housebound.

My DH has now been in a care home for two years and he does not even ask after him or me for that matter, but at least I do not have to say no to him.

People never cease to amaze me.

Takingthelongwayhome

My neighbor keeps asking for me to make her something to eat late at night. 2-3 times a week.Frequently asking me to sew things for her and her grandkids. I fell off of a ladder yesterday, had to go to the hospital which she is aware of and unable to use right arm and tonight at 9:48pm she wants me to make her cheddar fries. I made them but isn’t that rude or no?

I think your neighbour was thoughtless, but I'm wondering why you made the fries? You could have said, I only have the use of one arm so I won't today?

In a way, people treat you how you train them to treat you.

.............................*takingthelongwayhome*......................

please share how you found this three year old thread?

May 2021!

What are things like now nellgwynne - are you still there?

MelBB

Fence panel security brackets are useful too. ☺️

What a simple idea!
Had never heard of them and don't need them but 😯!

Oooops, just noticed how old this thread is - that'll teach me to concentrate

You are not being unreasonable in feeling 'put on' but just start politely saying 'NO' . There must be others who they can approach and I don't want to sound mean but they are not your responsibility. Yes, it is nice to help one another out from time to time but it does sound like this couple are extracting the urine.

Another suggestion for the scrounging building materials - put up a sign for a yard sale for the redundant stuff, selling it very cheap would make you a bit of cash, help anyone who needs and and the couple might take the hint that your not a freebie building materials supplier.

Finally, try to enjoy your new home

Takingthelongwayhome

My neighbor keeps asking for me to make her something to eat late at night. 2-3 times a week.Frequently asking me to sew things for her and her grandkids. I fell off of a ladder yesterday, had to go to the hospital which she is aware of and unable to use right arm and tonight at 9:48pm she wants me to make her cheddar fries. I made them but isn’t that rude or no?

How about not answering the phone or ignoring the messages.

This thread is 3 years old TLLRH - it might be better to start a new one with your recent comment.

My neighbor keeps asking for me to make her something to eat late at night. 2-3 times a week.Frequently asking me to sew things for her and her grandkids. I fell off of a ladder yesterday, had to go to the hospital which she is aware of and unable to use right arm and tonight at 9:48pm she wants me to make her cheddar fries. I made them but isn’t that rude or no?

Stay on good terms but do not allow them to sponge on you. they clearly have not idea of social boundaries and need to be told. So you will have to be quite assertive and firm with them.

Please do not put anything in our skip. If when we have filled it, there is some space left, we will let you know. etc.