Am I being too sensitive

Yes,just stop as he did.

wellbeck no but I was buying her children and grandchildren presents and continued to do so until they were 18. As she had stopped then, so did I but I made sure that when they got their 18th birthday presents they knew it would be the last one. Although they did get 30th presents.
I’m not saying don’t stop just don’t stop without letting them know why your stopping and when.

Just stop doing it. Gifts aren’t always appreciated in this day and age especially by younger people as we are living in a ‘want it now society’ and many - I say many as it’s not everyone of course - get what they want when they want it !

Stop buying presents. Cards only. You don't owe your brother (or anyone) an explanation. They would all probably appreciate a postcard with a few lines from time to time to know you are thinking of them. Reasonable people appreciate your time rather than your money.

I don't understand why you told your mum. Why should she get involved.
You either continue with presents or stop. Simple....

Just stop! You know in your heart its gone on too long

Why feel guilty? If you can only afford a card, that is good enough!
Why not just contact your brother and just say that due to your financial state, you will only be sending cards in future. For all you know, he may be in a similar situation himself and be pleased to only send cards himself. It's the thought that counts, not how much is spent!

Unless you are particularly close to any of the great nieces etc you have to draw a line on who you gift to and with your limited finances you are well justified in doing so.

How about sending a much reduced gift this next time and pop a note is saying that you're now on a pension... I'm sure they will understand. Better, I think, than just stopping dead with no explanation which could leave them wondering if they did something wrong. Its the action of giving (love) that counts, not the amount of money spent. Small gifts can include a lovely bar of special soap, a small box of good chocolate etc.

Also there are many men who don't think about presents, at all... hence the classic case of the secretary who buys the gifts for his wife, or the wife who buys for their kids and his mother and the woman longing for her man to bring home some flowers, but he never does...etc.

Bearing a grudge only hurts you... the other person will continue to be who they are.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Just stop. Don't get stressed about it

I hate what I call reciprocity! is there such a word
I give because I want to, I hate if when someone feels obligated to return the favour,, so I don`t really understand your question.

perhaps it may be courteous to say that you no longer will be gifting, do we have to give a reason? depends on the relationship..

Nanaplenty
"Just stop doing it. Gifts aren’t always appreciated in this day and age especially by younger people as we are living in a ‘want it now society’ and many - I say many as it’s not everyone of course - get what they want when they want it !"

This is very incorrect. You are making it a problem of "the younger generations" vs the OP's problem.

Stereotyping is not a good idea.

Of course you are right to stop. And that doesn't mean you aren't kind and generous. Stop immediately and cards! Concentrate on your family from now on.x

I sent notes to all the people I used to buy gifts for telling them that as I had now retired (almost) I would have to watch the pennies, so no more gifts. I, of course, still send cards.

I received several replies saying that it was understandable.

Nobody has to give me presents, a congratulations, happy bday, etc is enough

If I got a note saying why I am not getting more presents from them, it would make me very uncomfortable, as if I had imposed an obligation on them for years or they are indirectly requesting financial assistance.
I would feel guilty you thought our relationship depends on whether you can give me gifts or not (disclaimer: no, it doesnt)

It depends on how the note is written, of course.

I would explain to your niece(s)/nephew(s) that you can, unfortunately, no longer afford birthday presents for their children. You could say you'll continue till they're a specific age ( 5,10,12?) with smaller presents if you don't want to stop suddenly or want to stop at same age for the three of them.
You could maybe just take small presents for all of them if you go to visit them occasionally if you can afford to do so (but make it clear they are not birthday presents).
No need to feel guilty - most of us have to draw the line somewhere for financial reasons so they shouldn't be offended.
We all have different priorities and budgets - so, whatever people do, it shouldn't be a competition or an obligation.

Not exactly on topic, but it really disappoints me that little thank you notes from children/teenagers seem to be a thing of the past. When I was a child I was made to sit and write my thank you letters, and I still do. I don’t give in the expectation of thanks, but it comes across to me as bad manners or couldn’t care less, and I’m left wondering if the gift (usually cash nowadays) actually arrived and was appreciated.

I totally agree, Germanshepherdsmum. I have never had a thank you of any sort from my nephew or his children. I stopped sending anything last Christmas( my excuse to myself was lockdown). I have been sending a cheque to their dad to cover all three birthdays, suggesting it goes toward a family day out, but I rarely get an acknowledgement. I didn’t even know if it arrived, so I think that will be the last.
I would be happy with an email or text these days, it a letter would be lovely.
His sister, my niece, always thanks me, so that’s the difference.

I buy my sons and wife’s and grandkids only everyone else gets a card. I even only spent a certain amount on my boys and wife’s and grandkids. My youngest sons wife mum and dad spends a fortune on her and my son and grandkids and I used to feel like I wasn’t buying either lol but then I thought it’s not who gets the best it’s what I can afford and that’s what you should do. Buy what you can afford. I’m quite sure that they don’t want you to skint yourself.

STOP. X

If you want to and can afford it, give. If you neither want to nor can afford it stop. It's completely up to you - it's unlikely you'll change someone else's giving behaviour, personally I only give my sisters token gifts unless its for a milestone birthday. their children and grandchildren don't get anything any more.

Presents are such a tricky chapter... in my experience a lot of presents are given which actually are not appreciated. My birth family and I stopped giving each other presents decades ago and we don’t feel less loved for that! I give to son, daughter in law and their fairly young children( plus husband). SO much nicer not to have this feeling of ought to/ guilt.

I actually think it all gets a bit silly and out of hand. My brother tends to forget my DD's birthdays anyway and despite the fact that I always make the effort to get cards to him and his wife well ahead of time they always leave it until the very last minute or even forget our birthdays altogether.

We used to buy cards and gifts for his GC, my great nephews and nieces but after watching one of them open an expensive well chosen gift that was then tossed aside, open the card and glare at me because there was no money in it I made the decision to stop buying cards and gifts or them.

I now only ever buy for my AC and GC, my siblings, my partner and a close friend. My brother and SIL still get the timing wrong but I don't mind that, my conscience is clear.

I think stop, although I need to tell myself the same. I'm on my own & my friend buys presents for me from her 2 grown up children, so I feel obliged to buy them back. Now one has a partner & a baby due soon, I'll buy the baby a gift when it's born, but Xmas, I really can't buy them all. I've hinted before and they took no notice, I'll have to be stronger, big girl pants on Good luck