Gransnet forums


Aggressive Neighbour

(12 Posts)
LibbyR Wed 02-Jun-21 20:50:43

We live in a fairly rural location and have several acres of land. This weekend my son and daughter-in-law came to visit for the first time in over a year. My DiL is training for a marathon so she was out at 6am running laps of our field with their dog when suddenly my neighbour popped up on our hedge and shouted at her. She asked ‘how long she planned to be doing that’ as it was upsetting her horses! My DiL was very polite and apologised and stopped running. She only told me this when they were getting ready to leave yesterday and now I’m fuming. This neighbour is always moaning about something and everyone in the village gives her a wide berth as she’s quite unpleasant however she has borrowed fields from us on several occasions (free of charge for her horses), so has always been ok with us. When I spoke to my son earlier he said this woman was really aggressive towards my DiL and apparently berated her for several minutes about upsetting her horses. My DiL didn’t tell me this as she’s a lovely girl and wouldn’t want me to fall out with someone over her. However I am so annoyed and feel I need to say something to her. She constantly lights bonfires and had a mower and a chainsaw going all day on Sunday, right next to her horses with apparently no issues but thought it was ok to have a go at a girl and her dog running around on our land. She’s not the type of person you could have a reasonable conversation with so I’m thinking that probably a letter would be the best approach. The thing is I know this will illicit her hammering on my door to have it out but I don’t think she should get away with thinking she can dictate what we do on our own land. My husband says let it go but I’m so annoyed about it. Perhaps just writing it down will make me feel better.

Savvy Wed 02-Jun-21 20:54:42

Its a difficult one, but I'd certainly stop her borrowing your land again.

Are there any local bylaws about lighting fires etc? It may be worth checking these out.

EllanVannin Wed 02-Jun-21 20:55:55

Ignore the woman and tell your DiL to carry on with her training. I don't believe it upsets the horses at all. Tell your DiL to put music headphones on then she won't hear her.

Callistemon Wed 02-Jun-21 20:58:12

Perhaps writing a letter to her but not posting it might make you feel better. Make a bonfire and throw the letter on it.

She certainly would never be borrowing any of my fields for her horses in future, that's for sure.

Callistemon Wed 02-Jun-21 20:58:55

Are there any local bylaws about lighting fires etc? It may be worth checking these out.

Oops, X post, yes, check this out first!

Redhead56 Wed 02-Jun-21 21:28:41

Would you consider walking the dog while your DiL runs. If the neighbour pops from a hedge to dictate you can put her straight. I would very firmly remind her it is your land she will not have access to it in future. Keep it short and walk away you have every right to deny access.

Grandmabatty Wed 02-Jun-21 21:30:31

I wouldn't send her a letter. Like someone else said, write one then burn it. But never give her your field to use again.

Callistemon Wed 02-Jun-21 21:46:31

I wonder if she was worried that the dog could go near her horses?
However, there was no need for her aggressive attitude

62Granny Wed 02-Jun-21 21:49:31

I would definitely stop her using your land, if she ask why she can't you can say your family will be using regularly and you don't want her horses being frightened , I am sure she is very thick skinned so having a word with her would be no good anyway. Just one other thing did she know it was a relative of yours or just a random person out running if the latter perhaps it was just concern for her animals.

lemsip Wed 02-Jun-21 22:07:54

I'd tell your neighbour that it is your daughter in law, in case she wasn't sure who it was. Tell her she will be training round your field frequently until the marathon.
Don't send a letter, these things can get blown out of all proportion.

welbeck Thu 03-Jun-21 00:03:18

agree with your husband.
don't write anything.
if ever you wanted to sell, you would have to declare a neighbour dispute.
if she asks to use the field, say no, not available, being used by family for marathon training.
and walk away.
less said the better.

poshpaws Thu 03-Jun-21 00:24:21

I have horses: for many years now they've been "field ornaments" as I'm not fit to ride any more. However they are not stupid - horses aren't, in general - and although a horse is often likely to spook at silly harmless things due to being a prey animal, if it's regularly handled as it should be, a person and dog running in a completely different field behind a hedge is defo NOT going to faze them one teeny tiny bit.

I wouldn't say a word to your neighbour until either your DIL comes over again, in which case pre-warn neighbour that she and the dog will be running on your property, end of, no arguments entertained, or if she comes wanting to use your field again - when I'd simply say "no, sorry, I don't want anyone else using it in the future."

You owe the neighbour no explanations nor apologies.

I'm petty enough that I'd report her bonfires though: "It's not illegal to light bonfires, and there are no official restrictions on when how often they can be burned. ... However, there are environmental laws that stipulate against a bonfire causing harm to health, the environment, or to the neighbours' enjoyment of their property by producing excess smoke."

She sounds a properly entitled cow.