Entertainment or Cruelty?

That holiday camp 'entertainer' was disgusting! I shudder to think what he would have said to any black children. Going off at a slight tangent; we were on a cruise and for once, decided to go and see the comedian in the theatre, not usually our cup of tea. On walked something from the 1970s, complete with frilly shirt and sweaty forehead. A young Indian waiter ducked along the front of the stage to deliver drinks and he said look out! another one has just waded ashore!. We got up, left, complained, despairing at others who found this 'entertaining'.

Thank you all for your replies. They are helpful and have given me food for thought about tackling the issue with the school.
The pushing games are of a concern and I don't understand it myself. I suspect that they are not actually "allowed" but possibly just not policed. I did wonder whether the game they play, "Duck, Duck, Goose," descends into a "pushing game" amongst children who are still very young.
vegansrock, I understand what you are saying and all forms of education were considered for my DGS. He was observed within the nursery setting and it was noted that he followed the other children with the tasks set (even though he was non-verbal) and he followed their behaviours too. It was felt that if he went to an SEN school, where the children are very often in their own little world/non-verbal/struggling socially and not responding enthusiastically, he would not have role models to learn from. He is now speaking in sentences, some of which I understand(!) and has come such a long way, from a learning point of view, he is in the wrong place. I suspect that he will be a little bit of a square peg in a round hole wherever he goes.
We have been very happy with the way the children within the school have been inclusive, he has been to so many parties. He has made a particular friend who he meets outside of school and his mother, who is very shy, has found a friend too so it it has been really good for them.
My son has been really straight with the school about knowing the worst of any issues and needing full transparency. He doesn't want to have to read between the lines, he wants to be able to work with his son on any issues. I think I will advise him to be transparent with the school about how this is going to affect his child as he gets more aware and ask the school to address it.
As to the entertainer, an opportunity to educate was missed but my son will be ready to tackle this on future occasions.
When my children were younger they were rather dumbfounded by the entertainer who talked about rowing parents and argumentative siblings in the journey there. We didn't row or bicker in front of them and they sang hymns (atheist husband somewhat bemused) or played games on the way. We just wouldn't have let them argue or fight. They were also horrified by the continued use of the word, "Shut-up". I wouldn't let them use it, "Be quiet," was quite adequate!!!

I do remember at school the boys were organized to play “British Bulldog”, it was a giant rugby scrum. I honestly can’t remember wether it was last man standing or wether it was a team from each “house”, probably the latter. I do remember the girls cheering “their” team on, it was good fun. No punching or charging, the weaker ones dropped out leaving the strongest pushing to cross the winning line, these days of course the girls would have a team as well.
It sounds like the OPs GS would have done well.

I’d be inclined to see if the police could be persuaded to look into the matter of the holiday camp ‘entertainer’. What he said about different nationalities might be construed as hate crime and the sexual content was highly inappropriate. Perhaps a visit from them would get him to change his behaviour. Amazed the holiday camp management seemed to think this was ok. Young children so easily pick up on and repeat/adopt unacceptable behaviour.

BlueBelle

Granny23 that is awful and definitely needs a follow up beyond the resort manager who is obviously of the same ilk

yes, could it be reported to SS as safeguarding concern.
his jokes sound very dubious.
could be grooming ?

greenlady102

I am 67 and pushing games were banned in my school when I was 7! I am not a parent or grandparent but I thought words like naughty weren't used in schools now? and yes I would be having a quiet friendly word with the entertainer.

yes, that's a good point.
one shouldn't say a child is naughty.
might say he/she did a naughty thing.
but best to avoid the word.

Sarnia

A children's entertainer ought to know better than ask such a question. One thing that struck me, though. Your grandson was invited to a birthday party. This is often an occasion where a special needs child is rarely, if ever, asked to join in. How lovely that he was seen as a friend and invited.

That’s what I thought.Our oldest DGS ( now a teenager) has never been asked to a party and has no friends at all.He has autism and is intelligent and sensitive.It was heartbreaking when he was younger ( still is, really.)
Forget the entertainer at the party, especially as it didn’t bother the boy, but your DS should contact the teacher and ask her to correct any mention of ‘naughty’ in class.In the playground there’s nothing that can be done.
I hope your DGS can continue at school with help given, most children struggle if they are on the spectrum.

Pushing game!??? What in earth is that all about , madness! The childrens entertainer should never have asked that question. Your grandsons parents might like to consider a special school , a difficult decision I know . However your grandson may blossom in an environment that is tailored to his needs.

Peach blossom that is true but nonetheless you should not be working with children without an in date DBS.

I feel sad reading this. The Entertainer should not have asked what he did. You are NBU.

I think there’s a bit of confusion as to what a DBS check is and who is required to have one.

All it does is disclose any convictions basically. It’s no standard or guarantee of being suitable to work with children.

Those entertainers sound awful btw.

Whilst I am in favour of children being educated together, when appropriate,I fear it isn’t always the case that integration works. A child of a friend of ours has ASD and attended a mainstream primary school , he had a 1:1 assistant. His behaviour was often so extreme that these assistants rarely last more than a term which was very unsettling for the child. After several years of the child making little or no progress, the parents discovered that the child spent only 15% of the school day in with the rest of the class, the remaining time he was on his own with the assistant as he was disrupting the learning of the other children. After year 6 the parents decided to send him to a special school for ASD children, he is thriving there and much happier. Obviously the parents in this case are happy with the school, but I guess what I’m saying is that integration doesn’t work for all in the long term.

Granny23 I take it that was in the uk. The entertainer should have an in date DBS for starters and is in total breach of safeguarding. I suggest your sil reports this to the NSPCC. They won’t ignore it. Sil can remain anonymous if he wishes.

Icanhandthemback entertainer may not have meant to cause offence but he really needs to be educated and told that he was out of order. Again I would hope he is DBS checked to work with youngsters.

Granny23

On holiday at a huge static Caravan & Lodges park my Son in Law took DGS and DGD to watch the children's entertainer's 6 o'clock show. He was horrified when the man went round the children asking each their nationality. They were mainly Scots [Big Cheer led by entertainer|] some English {boos led by the man] and when a Brother & Sister announced they were German, he gave a Nazi salute and shouted Heil Hitler!!!

Then addressing the boys only, he reeled off a list of allegedly hilarious 'Good things about being a boy rather than a girl' which culminated in him saying 'Girls don't have a Willy to play with when they are bored.'

SIL immediately removed his own children and went straight to the Camp Manager to complain, only to be told that the kids loved the man and all kids like to hear and laugh at rude words. DD wrote to the head of the chain of holiday parks but failed to get a reply.

Oh yeuch...he sounds vile. I definitely wouldn’t let that drop.

What is a ‘ pushing’ game? This sounds like something parents and teachers have been telling children NOT to do for decades. How odd. I think I’d be questioning this with the school.
As for the ‘ entertainer’ honestly...words escape me! You are definitely not being unreasonable.
It does sound like your grandson has a lovely little personality though, so much so, that all his classmates seem to love him, and he gets invited to parties. I would focus on that.

Granny23 that is awful and definitely needs a follow up beyond the resort manager who is obviously of the same ilk

Granny23 that entertainer sounds very creepy and shouldn't be around children.
It is worrying that people set themselves up as entertainers and can behave inappropriately.

Granny23

On holiday at a huge static Caravan & Lodges park my Son in Law took DGS and DGD to watch the children's entertainer's 6 o'clock show. He was horrified when the man went round the children asking each their nationality. They were mainly Scots [Big Cheer led by entertainer|] some English {boos led by the man] and when a Brother & Sister announced they were German, he gave a Nazi salute and shouted Heil Hitler!!!

Then addressing the boys only, he reeled off a list of allegedly hilarious 'Good things about being a boy rather than a girl' which culminated in him saying 'Girls don't have a Willy to play with when they are bored.'

SIL immediately removed his own children and went straight to the Camp Manager to complain, only to be told that the kids loved the man and all kids like to hear and laugh at rude words. DD wrote to the head of the chain of holiday parks but failed to get a reply.

You are joking ?? If not that should be followed up. Your son should keep on at the company until he gets a reply

A children's entertainer ought to know better than ask such a question. One thing that struck me, though. Your grandson was invited to a birthday party. This is often an occasion where a special needs child is rarely, if ever, asked to join in. How lovely that he was seen as a friend and invited.

Granny23

On holiday at a huge static Caravan & Lodges park my Son in Law took DGS and DGD to watch the children's entertainer's 6 o'clock show. He was horrified when the man went round the children asking each their nationality. They were mainly Scots [Big Cheer led by entertainer|] some English {boos led by the man] and when a Brother & Sister announced they were German, he gave a Nazi salute and shouted Heil Hitler!!!

Then addressing the boys only, he reeled off a list of allegedly hilarious 'Good things about being a boy rather than a girl' which culminated in him saying 'Girls don't have a Willy to play with when they are bored.'

SIL immediately removed his own children and went straight to the Camp Manager to complain, only to be told that the kids loved the man and all kids like to hear and laugh at rude words. DD wrote to the head of the chain of holiday parks but failed to get a reply.

I mean wow....just wow!

On holiday at a huge static Caravan & Lodges park my Son in Law took DGS and DGD to watch the children's entertainer's 6 o'clock show. He was horrified when the man went round the children asking each their nationality. They were mainly Scots [Big Cheer led by entertainer|] some English {boos led by the man] and when a Brother & Sister announced they were German, he gave a Nazi salute and shouted Heil Hitler!!!

Then addressing the boys only, he reeled off a list of allegedly hilarious 'Good things about being a boy rather than a girl' which culminated in him saying 'Girls don't have a Willy to play with when they are bored.'

SIL immediately removed his own children and went straight to the Camp Manager to complain, only to be told that the kids loved the man and all kids like to hear and laugh at rude words. DD wrote to the head of the chain of holiday parks but failed to get a reply.

I am 67 and pushing games were banned in my school when I was 7! I am not a parent or grandparent but I thought words like naughty weren't used in schools now? and yes I would be having a quiet friendly word with the entertainer.

I can’t see what a pushing game is about at all playground classroom or wherever …..pushing game sounds ridiculous

I m glad your grandson saw it as a positive yes it might be worthy of a chat with the teacher although I presume the teacher would have contacted your son or daughter in law if he was really being naughty It could have all been good natured and he may be looked up to by his classmates as the one without as many restrictions as them so it could even be that he’s looked up to by his class mates as the leader not as negative as you are seeing it

I expect that the ‘pushing’ game will just be children pushing each other on the playground- they all do it. He just doesn’t know his own strength, but that will come with time. Odd question for the entertainer to ask though - he could do with someone having a word with him.