Second Opinions - Saying NO to Quarentine in Our House with Our Baby

Kali2

Why are 4 of them coming from different countries at the same time. A special celebration, Christening or similar?

Hotels might be expensive, but they can share a rented cottage or holiday home, B&B, RBnB, etc, and you can arrange for food to be delivered to them.

Just say it is illegal- and could get you all into big trouble.

I feel for you.

I wonder if they actually can share rented accommodation like an Air BnB if they have come from different amber list countries. Should they not quarantine separately as 2 couples?

Be firm and say no as you need time as a new family ignore the squabbling and messages.

You are the parents now. Time to stop being the children. Time to be responsible for the well-being of your family.

Not only no to staying. NO to any visits until the quarantine period is over.

Time to step up into adulthood ?

Why are 4 of them coming from different countries at the same time. A special celebration, Christening or similar?

Hotels might be expensive, but they can share a rented cottage or holiday home, B&B, RBnB, etc, and you can arrange for food to be delivered to them.

Just say it is illegal- and could get you all into big trouble.

I feel for you.

I’m sure you’ve read the government guidelines on quarantining.
Just in case you haven’t, here they are.
Look carefully under the heading checks to make www.gov.uk/guidance/how-to-quarantine-when-you-arrive-in-england#quarantine-for-10-days-after-you-arrive sure your following the quarantine rules
Then email this information to your relatives.

But why do they need to quarantine with you?
So they can multitask being quarantined with seeing the baby, I expect.
Too bad for them. YANBU.

As Margaret Thatcher was prone to say No! No! No! You both haven't been vaccinated, two bedroomed house, they're coming from two different amber list countries.........and a fourth even bigger No! you have your new born baby to think about.

You and your wife have nothing to beat yourselves up for, totally unreasonable, if not illegal request.

Wishing you all the best

NO they must stay away.
My son was working overseas when the first lockdown began, when he returned home he quarantined 14 days (as was required at that time) in a tiny caravan in the garden.
If you feel really obliged to accommodate them could they stay in a caravan somewhere?
You really must NOT have them in your house, and please don't let them touch your baby. Babies CAN catch it, I remember one in France and the poor little thing died.
Your wife will still be hormonal and it is criminal of them to subject her to this, she needs time with her baby.
Keep us informed - I find myself quite distressed for you both.

It is sad when family rifts happen but you are not the cause of this situation.

Hello SunshineDad YANBU at all. Who in their right mind would even suggest a young couple with a newborn should accommodate 4 adults, allowing them to quarantine in your home, with complete disregard to the risk to your family is beyond thoughtless and anymore pressure put on you to do this is, quite frankly, bullying.

You and your wife must stand together against these people, family or not. They should be supportive and happy for you both at this point. As you may have been told on Mumsnet, your house, your rules.

Stand your ground and tell them this is no longer up for discussion.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

But why do they need to quarantine with you? Is it to avoid a costly hotel bill? If so, that's just too bad imo. YANBU, stand your ground and enjoy this special, precious and lovely time with your new baby.

You are not being unreasonable at all. I think your family members are very selfish and inconsiderate to expect to be able to stay with you. I cannot understand their reasoning. Stick t9 your guns, you are so right. Good luck.

Good heavens this is way too much worry! Do they want your wife to have postnatal depression? Usually parents stay to help not to cause extra work and worry. Yes, of course they want to see their gorgeous grandchild but everyone has had to make sacrifices due to Covid. You have to put your foot down. They have to meet our quarantine rules and do they really want to put your family at risk? I hope not. They are the ones being unreasonable. If they come they must isolate for 10 days in a quarantine hotel which means they can’t see anyone in that time. Then they could move to a b&b near you. Do they have the time and/or money for that? It may be they will have to wait until later in the year. Plenty on here have not yet seen new gc in Australia and NZ or been able to visit for a couple of years.

Tell them it is out of your hands- it is simply illegal.
End of.
Then try to get over how let down you probably feel personally - if they are family, they’ll still be family for many years to come. Not worth a rift or lasting bad feeling.

I agree 100% with the majority.
A big fat NO.

Neither of us vaccinated yet. And wife understandably worried and also not wanting them staying here for so long, regardless of covid.
We both wanted to see them when it is safe to do so, but after this behaviour we don't want them here at all, which is so sad.

I am pretty certain what they want is illegal so you should have no part in it, as well as dangerous and frankly bonkers.
3 couples in a 2 bed house?

No cultural difference, just a parent used to always getting their own way and being a bit of a bully.
We suggested air bnb for the four of them (this is two couples coming from two different Amber list countries) and then for the grandparents to stay with us for one week only and the other family members to visit. This was 2 weeks ago and every call since there has been sulking, spiteful comments, comments about not being loved or welcome.
We've both come of Facebook just because when photos are posted of us with wife's family, I receive aggy messages. Its really upsetting.

I may be making this up but I am sure the principle of quarantine was to isolate from others not live massively overcrowded with a young baby and its parents - where are the 4 planning to sleep for a start? As your wife has recently given birth, would I be right in assuming she has not been vaccinated? You sound young, so for that matter, have you?
Far from adhering to quarantine regs this seems designed to break every guideline going not to mention, common sense.
You have to say No.

Is this a cultural difference here?
Just wondering.

You are being perfectly reasonable.

These people are reacting nastily? That reinforces that you were right not to want to be cooped up with them for that time.

I'd not want to see them at all, since that's their attitude.

We visited for a few days when our GD was about a week old. DiL asked if we would mind staying in a nearby hotel - we understood perfectly - and she booked it for us. We'd have been an extra 2 in a 2-bedroomed house. We visited daily, but not for all day.

So, like the others, I don't think you're being unreasonable. If you can find your family some suitable accommodation nearby then they would be unreasonable not to accept that.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable and they should not have even assumed they can. If they want to visit they use a quarantine hotel and pay for it. It’s not worth your distress. There have been so many disagreements over this pandemic, we just all need to be kind to each other. Wishing you all the best xxx

There are two issues here; one your family thinking it is right to travel to this country when they will be required to quarantine for ten days after their arrival, because they pose a risk to people here, and secondly, that they think it is right for four people to impose themselves on new parents and their new baby. It wouldn't matter if you had six bedrooms; hosting four people when not long out of childbirth is a huge imposition, and you are absolutely right to refuse to allow your parents to stay with you, either now or later.

Oh my goodness, of course you are not being unreasonable to say no to your family. Your job is to protect your family which is exactly what you are doing.
Well done.