Gransnet forums


Second Opinions - Saying NO to Quarentine in Our House with Our Baby

(178 Posts)
SunshineDad21 Mon 07-Jun-21 19:45:20

Hi All
Have already posted in Mumsnet but thought it would be worth getting views of the Grandparents of the Internet...
Are me and my wife being unreasonable that we don't want visitors quarentining in our house with our newborn? We have a small house, and they wouldn't be able to leave at all for the 10 day period.
They are now being incredibly spiteful and sulking. Not only is space an issue (an extra 4 people in our home), they aren't even acknowledging the potential risk of illness to us and our newborn baby. They are spoiling a time that should be special and happy because we have said no and asked to compromise on the visit happening when quarentine is no longer required. They are being completely unreasonable because they've not got their own way and now we just feel like we have to hide what we are doing as a family just to avoid the abusive/bullying/emotionally manipulative behaviour.
My wife is understandably upset at whats happened. Now we dread the visit at all if this is how it is going to be, which makes us both really sad as we did want to see these people when ready and able to

Blossoming Mon 07-Jun-21 20:07:06

Absolutely YANBU. You must put yourselves and baby first. They are BU and selfish for asking.

janeainsworth Mon 07-Jun-21 20:07:10

No, you’re not being unreasonable, though it would give a clearer picture if you told us who the visitors are and why they think they are entitled to quarantine in your house.
If the visitors are grandparents coming from overseas then I could understand their wish to be in your house and personally I would try to accommodate them.

Lin52 Mon 07-Jun-21 20:21:24


No, you’re not being unreasonable, though it would give a clearer picture if you told us who the visitors are and why they think they are entitled to quarantine in your house.
If the visitors are grandparents coming from overseas then I could understand their wish to be in your house and personally I would try to accommodate them.

Flying anywhere in a pandemic is risky, and usually totally unnecessary. coming when you know you have to quarantine, the responsibility is yours, expecting a newly delivered mother with a young baby in the house, to house you definitely a no no.

SueDonim Mon 07-Jun-21 20:37:24

YANBU. I wouldn’t want anyone quarantining in my house, even though I don’t have a baby to worry about!

The word No is a complete sentence, use it on your would-be guests. Follow up with the name of a quarantine hotel.

Luckygirl Mon 07-Jun-21 20:42:43

Who are these people? Are they family and likely to cause a family rift over this?

YANBU - they cannot quarantine in your home.

Hithere Mon 07-Jun-21 20:47:09

Stand your ground.

Grannybags Mon 07-Jun-21 20:57:28

Say no!

Can't understand why they would think it was an ok thing to do even without a baby in the house

Kali2 Mon 07-Jun-21 20:59:50

You are totally in your right to refuse. As a grand-parent I would never ever expect to quarantine with relatives, or adult children.

Deedaa Mon 07-Jun-21 21:09:00

4 extra people landed on a couple with a baby, 24 hours a day for 10 days is too much. With the best will in the world everyone will have had enough long before the 10 days is up.

rafichagran Mon 07-Jun-21 21:09:18

I would say no as well.

NanKate Mon 07-Jun-21 21:24:01

Stand your ground and say No.

V3ra Mon 07-Jun-21 21:47:02

The whole point of visitors from abroad quarantining is so they don't mix with anyone already living here. So they go to a hotel, and they stay there.
There is no way the government rules would allow them to move in with you and your family, however large a house you have or don't have.
They are being completely unreasonable and selfish to even ask. Say no and stick to it.

allsortsofbags Mon 07-Jun-21 21:51:10

It would be a NO from me.

I wouldn't even be asking knowing that there is 1) a baby in the house 2) a new mum with all that changes and hormones to deal with 3) 4 extra people in a confined space for 10 days - just NO.

How inconsiderate of them even if they are family.

Whoever they are you need to take care of your baby and your wife.

V3ra Mon 07-Jun-21 21:59:30

Well actually I was wrong in that they could technically quarantine with you, but they would have to stay in their own room.
From what you say about your house this might not be practical or desirable so I'd still say no.

grannyrebel7 Mon 07-Jun-21 22:03:30

Definitely a big fat NO!

SunshineDad21 Mon 07-Jun-21 22:26:01

Thanks all, it is helpful for me as I've been stuck with the guilt tripping (it's my family). My wife has been upset that we are getting such bad treatment / attitude now, but quite rightly is pretty shocked they even expected it.
We only have a 2 bedroom house... so even without quarantine you can imagine how much of a squeeze it will be.

ginny Mon 07-Jun-21 22:29:07

I agree with everyone else. YANBU

Talullah Mon 07-Jun-21 22:37:45

It's quite a ridiculous request. You're quite right to refuse. Hopefully they will eventually understand.

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 07-Jun-21 22:38:56

YABNU, they are being unreasonable to ask you.

What if they actually have Covid?

lemsip Mon 07-Jun-21 22:45:29

do not let them into your home at all. Stand firm, Put your own little family first.

Shelflife Mon 07-Jun-21 22:49:47

NO ,NO ,NO! Not sure who these people are but they are being unreasonable. Even without the pandemic it would be so wrong to stay with people who have a newborn in the house . Parents need peace and time alone after the birth of a child . If your wife is newly delivered the last thing she needs is house guests !!
Tell these people it's a definite no, I find it hard to believe that anyone could even expect to stay with you at such a precious time. It would be unacceptable even if you lived in a mansion .

Grandmafrench Mon 07-Jun-21 22:50:44

6 people and a new baby in a 2 bedroomed house? Are they actually nuts? Even without Covid risks or quarantine, this is hardly a 10 day recipe for success. Why don't they make arrangements that they have full control over if they insist on travelling whilst life is so risky? Quarantine properly and well away from you in an hotel, then - if it suits you - perhaps you can make arrangements to see them somewhere outside and at a neutral and less pressured location. Otherwise they just need to wait. Don't feel even slightly tempted to go along with their suggestion. It doesn't suit you, it's risky and it's your house, your, NO.

maddyone Mon 07-Jun-21 22:53:00

Whoever these visitors are, they cannot quarantine in your house. To start with, as you are already there, it wouldn’t be quarantine, and therefore it’s simply not allowed. Quarantine means isolate. They need to isolate themselves somewhere. They should find a hotel and then confine themselves to their room for ten days. Even that’s not really quarantine, but it’s better than at your house.

NotSpaghetti Mon 07-Jun-21 22:55:40

Can you offer to help them find somewhere to stay I wonder?

I would go mad if people expected to stay with me when I had a new baby.

I know my friend's family relieve the mother of all tasks and responsibilities for (I think) 40 days. In her culture this is so her only thought is the newborn - but they would be doing all the shopping, cooking, laundry, errands, taking children to/from school etc and you can't easily do all that when quarantined in someone else's home.