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AIBU

Footballs over the fence

(116 Posts)
pattieb Sat 19-Jun-21 18:08:19

The family next door constantly kicks footballs into our garden. I know we have to give them back but tend to make them wait a while or ask for them back.
Some days there can be as many a three or four.
We’ve tried to reason with the neighbours but they just don’t see it as a problem.
They just say they are children and they love football. The son is 15 !

Newatthis Sun 20-Jun-21 10:16:08

My sister had the same trouble many years ago with the young lad next door constantly kicking the ball at her fence. He was Wayne Rooney who went from playing with Everton to one of the top players in the world! However, I do sympathise, it can be very, very annoying.

timetogo2016 Sun 20-Jun-21 10:29:16

Having sons who played football in the garden when they were young,i would`t dream of moaning about balls coming over the fence.
I love the fact that they are doing what boys/girls should be doing rather than sat infront of a screen of some sort.

NotSpaghetti Sun 20-Jun-21 11:47:20

I don't understand people being mean about footballs over the fence (by puncturing them for example) but also I don't see why those who are plagued with repeated balls day after day (and all day long) shouldn't be allowed to complain.

Most families/young boys and girls are considerate, some don't give a thought about anyone else. It's hard to enjoy your garden if the balls come over all day every day. It's relentlessly being on ball-watch that is so grinding.

NotSpaghetti Sun 20-Jun-21 11:49:50

timetogo I also had children who played football, and yes, occasionally it went over, BUT I (and they) were respectful of our neighbours and generally they took their ball up to the rec.

timetogo2016 Sun 20-Jun-21 18:54:01

Sadly NotSpaghetti,we didn`t live near a rec,and the neighbours never complained when the ball went over.
On one side they said just get yourself through the fence to get the ball and the other side just threw it back and vice versa.
We were lucky to have great neighbours.

Cressida Sun 20-Jun-21 23:02:07

We have a problem with footballs in the street. We live in a street of terraced houses that is a dead end for cars but is very busy with bikes and pedestrians who have to dodge the balls. They bounce off parked cars and hit the houses and have even gone right over the roofs into back gardens.

There is a park 5 minutes away with plenty of space for them to play but they prefer to make a nuisance of themselves.

I'm not talking about children kicking balls about. The main culprit is in his forties. There are other adult males and a couple of teenagers as well. This has been happening ever since the main culprit moved in a couple of years ago. The Police & council ASB officer stopped it last year but it's started up again so we've had to get them involved again.

Shinamae Sun 20-Jun-21 23:16:18

I wish I could throw my neighbours three cats back over the fence when they come in my garden!!….?

GraceQuirrel Mon 21-Jun-21 11:51:47

PaperMonster

Panda - never implied that about you at all. But own it if you want. But generally people complain about kids and screens - but then people also complain about children playing outside and their noise/balls. Just think children can’t win nowadays, criticism whatever they do. Just chuck the bloomin balls back and move on!

Absolutely!

Mooney59 Mon 21-Jun-21 11:56:59

And the winner of the most Gransnet post of 2021 goes to “can I have my ball back mister?” ?

Tanjamaltija Mon 21-Jun-21 12:00:03

Good fences make good neighbours - so just lob the ball back when you are good and ready, unless they have asked you for it first. If they do break a plant, take them into the garden to see the damage wrought, and show them that their fun is costing you good money.

Ladyleftfieldlover Mon 21-Jun-21 12:16:14

Just throw the balls back!

grannyactivist Mon 21-Jun-21 12:18:59

We have a walled garden at the back and have given over the previous flowerbeds to wildflowers, so when the ball comes into the garden there is no damage done and the seven year old lad next door has lifetime permission to pop round and retrieve his ball. ?

I do think though that parents should monitor such things and ensure that their children are polite and do their best not to become a nuisance. My own boys were under strict instructions to play in such a way that noise levels were kept down and intrusions were kept to a minimum so as not to annoy the neighbours.

Sadly, for a time we had a voyeur visiting one of our neighbours whose property overlooked ours. My boys stopped going into the garden for a while as they felt very uncomfortable being watched. Eventually I challenged the neighbour about her guest and she moved shortly afterwards, but by then my boys had got used to playing elsewhere.

SueDoku Mon 21-Jun-21 12:19:10

Balls coming over my fence get thrown back when I see them - so it might be next day if I'm out until after dark - with no problems at all.
What really gets me is when football is played in the street by teenagers - when I bought my last car, I'd only had it a couple of weeks when a football landed on the roof and dented it..! angry By the time I'd got out of my front door, the street was empty, and it would have cost me my no-claims bonus to fix, so I drove around in a car with a dented roof for three years..!!

moorlikeit Mon 21-Jun-21 12:19:37

I guess all these generous folk who regard anyone complaining about balls kicked into their gardens as curmudgeons, haven't experienced balls landing in the middle of a patio table when entertaining outside or generally living in fear of a ball hitting them in the head as they garden...? This in addition to plants and vegetables with broken stems. Parents should take children to a park for a carefree kick-around if they cannot keep the ball within their own garden at least most of the time. A 15 year-old should take himself off to the park as he is quite old enough. Teaching children to behave considerately is essential as they don't magically acquire it when they are adults; witness the climb in anti-social behaviour that now causes so much distress in our society.

jaylucy Mon 21-Jun-21 12:20:52

Why is it a problem ?
Why does the age of a youngster mean they obviously shouldn't be kicking a football in their back garden, according to you?
Is there anywhere near that he can safely go and kick a ball as an alternative?
Just chuck the balls back as you find them. I don't think there is a law such as trespass for footballs- would be a different thing if the 15 year old was climbing over the fence to get them back himself!

gillyg Mon 21-Jun-21 12:24:39

We moved into a house, new neighbours, 10 year old son kicked a football over the fence straight into a cup of tea, loud crash and broken china everywhere. Lots of apologies, a lot of football in our garden later, their two babies grew bigger and returned the favour. We all had a very good laugh about it. I won't mention the drum kits later.

Neilspurgeon0 Mon 21-Jun-21 12:35:52

Oh get a life, kids are not young and fancy free for very long, Chuck the balls back and have a joke with them about improving their dribbling skills, now they are too big for a bib! Kids actually love a bit of banter from a jokey adult.

Kamj Mon 21-Jun-21 12:42:46

My neighbour never returned the balls or if he did he'd put a knife through them first. My children didnt intentionally kick the ball over quite the opposite they tried there hardest not to aim high..
I always throw everything back that comes my way.

annodomini Mon 21-Jun-21 12:43:40

Some things never change. When I was a teenager, I practised tennis shots against our garage wall, but all too often the ball soared over the garage roof into the neighbours' garden. We were on very good terms with them, but they must have got fed up with my going to the door and asking if I could go and get my ball. In the end, they told me not to ask, just go and get it. Sadly, my tennis never improved!

Susysue Mon 21-Jun-21 12:46:50

I agree with bikergran and all others who see this as being totally unacceptable and extremely annoying. This just once again is another example of badly brought up kids and bad parenting who are not teaching their children respect for others. I brought up 3 kids on my own, two boys who were mad about ball sports but they were never allowed to bother our neighbours like this and were sent off to the local playing fields by the time they were this lads age. I couldn't stand them damaging my plants, let alone our neighbours. Personally I would be keeping the balls and not giving them back anymore. Enough is enough.

GoldenAge Mon 21-Jun-21 12:49:25

It's all a question of respect. I have no problem with any child kicking a ball in their own garden, nor with that coming over into my garden by mistake every now and then. However, as a regular thing I think this is disrespectful on the part of the parents who should be supervising. I'm surprised at the comments about children being children and how they should be allowed to do what they want - if they were kicking a ball over and it landed onto a smaller child or an elderly person, or into the pram with a baby in it I'm sure the blanket response would change. And frankly if I'd been tending my garden and found my flowers damaged I'd been very annoyed. So it's back to the old problem of respect for others. My grandson has now become much more respectful about kicking his football over the back of his garden and into a neighbour's garden, now that that particular neighbour has started to spend weekends elsewhere and is never in to throw the ball back or answer the door. It's taught him a lesson which is to keep the ball in his own garden.

cc Mon 21-Jun-21 12:52:04

Shinamae

I wish I could throw my neighbours three cats back over the fence when they come in my garden!!….?

Water pistol is the answer!

Susysue Mon 21-Jun-21 12:54:38

Neilspurgeon0

Oh get a life, kids are not young and fancy free for very long, Chuck the balls back and have a joke with them about improving their dribbling skills, now they are too big for a bib! Kids actually love a bit of banter from a jokey adult.

Unfortunately it is attitudes like your laissez faire approach which contributes to all the crap which the rest of us mere mortals have to deal with. You perhaps have been lucky in life and not had the stress of living next door to crap neighbours who don't give a shit about others around them. Many of us have dealt at some point with inconsiderate neighbours and believe me it is incredibly stressful. Would you like to hear the constant banging of a ball on your fence day in day out and possible damage to expensive plants you have paid for?? Or maybe you are one of these inconsiderate neighbours who expects everybody else to just put up with you????

Aepgirl Mon 21-Jun-21 13:13:59

Living next door to children is bound to cause some friction - but also a lot of joy. You either have to put up with it or move, but that won’t guarantee that a young family won’t move next door. I’d rather have children next door than the disagreeable older couple that I have.

Baggs Mon 21-Jun-21 13:19:38

You don't mention any damage to your garden, pattieb, so I presume that's not the problem. In which case, it sounds as though you are coping with the balls just being there very well and chucking them back when you feel like it. Go you ? !