Gransnet forums

AIBU

Footballs over the fence

(116 Posts)
pattieb Sat 19-Jun-21 18:08:19

The family next door constantly kicks footballs into our garden. I know we have to give them back but tend to make them wait a while or ask for them back.
Some days there can be as many a three or four.
We’ve tried to reason with the neighbours but they just don’t see it as a problem.
They just say they are children and they love football. The son is 15 !

micky987 Mon 21-Jun-21 13:23:33

I think I’d find it quite amusing if balls kept appearing in my garden. It’s clearly not doing damage to plants or the OP would have mentioned it. And you don’t have to throw one back every single time one lands. Just pop them back over when you happen to be in the garden. But I agree the 15 year old should try to be considerate. My parents would have taught me that if your ball goes into someone’s garden then you’re not allowed to play ball anymore and to apologise to the neighbour. But it’s great to hear children’s innocent laughing and playing.

HannahLoisLuke Mon 21-Jun-21 13:51:55

I had this problem all the time with my previous (lovely) neighbours. Several times a day I’d throw the balls back. Sometimes I’d wait for them to ask. Mostly the guilty party was Dad not the boys. A lot of damage was done to my flowerbeds so I was relieved when they moved. Later as I was trimming back a dense shrub I recovered four balls and a very bedraggled teddy ( think it belonged to their dog) I put him in the washing machine and he now sits on my bed ?

BelindaB Mon 21-Jun-21 14:00:29

I live in North London and on a play street - which is the only place around here that kids can play football. The balls are regularly kicked onto the flat roof of the garage attached to this house (but not mine!) and they always, always knock and ask for the ball back, not realising that my garden does not stretch behind the property.

I've sometimes been a little annoyed, especially if I'm doing something and don't want to be interupted but come on! "Can we have our ball back" is standard growing up fare, surely?

Did this not happen to your own?

leeds22 Mon 21-Jun-21 15:04:25

We had a football mad teenager next to us. We had big back gardens, so all his mates came round for a kick about. I wouldn't have minded throwing balls back but they never asked, just pushed their way through the hedge and showed no consideration for my garden.

Pammie1 Mon 21-Jun-21 15:11:16

It can be really annoying, depending on how often it happens. Have you got a dog ? We live in the end house just before a side road and the back garden of the first house in the side road runs along the bottom of ours. They have young kids and when balls of all kinds and sizes came over the fence (regularly) they were wrecking plants in our bottom border. Then I discovered that our Jack Russell is a ball destruction machine - he bursts them and then runs round the garden shaking them until they’re reduced to wet plastic !! It was hilarious entertainment for a while, until they got sick of me throwing lumps of dog spit covered plastic back over the fence !! It stopped quite quickly after that.

Lollin Mon 21-Jun-21 15:22:51

JenniferEccles

At 15 he is old enough to be aware that it must be annoying for his neighbour to keep having these balls landing in their garden, possibly damaging expensive plants.

He is most certainly more than old enough to go to an open space somewhere to have a kick about.

The parents’ attitude is dreadful.
The children love football so to hell with everyone else.

I was going to say exactly this. Shame you can’t attach a string to it and hand it back saying tie the other end to your spare foot since your aim is so bad!
Sadly Some people do not care about anyone but themselves though, if the garden is really too small time to save it for the local park put directions on their ball!

Pippa22 Mon 21-Jun-21 15:32:43

Reading some of these replies make me feel really sad. No wonder old people get called names. We are talking about footballs coming into our gardens and some people are really, really mean. Keeping balls until the kids come and ask for them ? Only throwing back occasionally ? Puncturing them ? How horrible some of you are.
I think it’s a small price to pay having balls arrive to have families around, perhaps some of you should live in a field or an old folks home ! Could complain about clicking knitting needles then or drumming fingers .

TrendyNannie6 Mon 21-Jun-21 15:40:33

At 15 years old he should be taking himself off to open space /park to play football, to be honest I’d be cross especially having flowers bushes hit with football, I wouldn’t be happy with three or four balls a day coming over, agree with Jennifer Eccles,

4allweknow Mon 21-Jun-21 15:48:20

I have a nearby neighbour who has had her fence damaged by footballs. There us a grassed area next to her house and the youngsters have admitted they need her fence for goals. Also her 3 year old GD has been struck by a football flying over the fence as well as planting damaged. In the evening she can't open her windows as she hears the racket from shouting etc also balls banning off the side of her house. Therd are Conditions on the grassed area that should not be used for ball games probably as close to properties, car parking areas and surrounded by 3 roads. At times this neighbour has been in tears having been threatened with violence from the kids when she has gone out and asked them to stop or at least move to the other side of the grass. I would ban foit6ball being played anywhere other than on a proper football pitch with supervision. And this is from someone whose brother was a professionally footballer player. The lady does not return the balls other than to an adult and they don't like having to traipse down the road and ask for the ball. Most complain that it's a bother. Try having a football over your fence 8 times a day, that's a bother. If the kids don't get a reply at the door they just attempt to climb the fence though other neighbours will stop them if spotted doing this.

Baggs Mon 21-Jun-21 16:00:43

There's something unhealthy about wanting kids' play to be supervised all the time. In many places there aren't easily accessible areas where they can play without disturbing other people. That is not the fault of the kids.

Kids need to play and football is popular and is good exercise. On the one hand people tend to complain that kids are lazy and unhealthy because they need more exercise yet on the other hand people also complain of the kids' play disturbs them.

Lollin Mon 21-Jun-21 16:01:15

We can all understand the occasional ball but if it is constant if it causes damage to your own garden and spoils the enjoyment of your own space, that can create sadness and if no consideration is shown then that is the problem.

NotSpaghetti Mon 21-Jun-21 16:10:16

I think the truth is there’s a balance here -I think I’m reasonable and I love to hear the children having fun as mine did.

The issue is entirely to do with frequency, damage caused and the accompanying insistent shouting if you can’t respond immediately.

Foxyferret Mon 21-Jun-21 16:11:53

A problem when it does damage to plants, pots etc. Going off piste here but twice now my neighbours big patio umberella has taken off in the wind and landed in my garden. First time no damage, second time completely smashed my delphiniums which were just coming into flower. I was very annoyed, just secure it or put it in the shed.

nipsmum Mon 21-Jun-21 18:00:59

I wish balls were my only problem. We spent a good deal of money building a six foot high ranch style fence round the whole garden. The children next door climbed it so often it became a hazard. Did their parents offer to pay for the damage. No they didn't. They can ignored it completely.

Harris27 Mon 21-Jun-21 18:09:11

It really wouldn’t bother me I have three boys and we looked at an estate to live in whilst they were growing up. We now live in a quiet culdesac with some children but mainly older people. But I work with kids and don’t mind a few balls in the garden.

narrowboatnan Mon 21-Jun-21 19:52:03

This thread reminded me of when my DS bought his first house (he was 19, just old enough for a mortgage). His mates used to gather and they’d kick footballs about in the garden. If they went over the fence, the elderly woman next door used to confiscate them.

Years later she was moving away and DS, having done quite well for himself over the years, bought her house as a buy to let. He opened the door to the garden shed and there, piled floor to ceiling, were all his footballs!

DebKell29 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:34:19

I have twins next door and they can knock 3 times a night asking for their ball back. Why do their parents allow them to do that?
They play with a heavy leather ball which damages my plants/pond. I was sitting in my garden reading when it hit me once.
They kick the ball against the metal garage door and scream & shout.
Sometimes they play at the front and run all over the neighbours gardens with the ball. My car has been damaged too.
I never allowed my son to behave like that. There are several parks nearby - an astro turf football pitch you could walk to.
I blame the parents

Unigran4 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:43:56

I had neighbours for 15 years, who have now moved (thankfully!), who had two boys who just didn't get on.

They constantly threw things over my fence to deprive each other of possession. These included a metal letterbox, several house bricks, many toys, including a trike, a scooter and their little sister's dolls pram. I did not throw any of them back (too dangerous), but collected them up on a weekly basis and left them by their back gate, only to have them thrown over again. I tried confiscating them but they would just yell and yell over the fence, or try to batter down my back gate to get to them.

It was not safe to sit in the garden, the damage to plants was total and, although the parents shouted and screamed at them not to do it, it made no difference. I was so relieved when they moved.

Beswitched Mon 21-Jun-21 20:58:18

Pippa22

Reading some of these replies make me feel really sad. No wonder old people get called names. We are talking about footballs coming into our gardens and some people are really, really mean. Keeping balls until the kids come and ask for them ? Only throwing back occasionally ? Puncturing them ? How horrible some of you are.
I think it’s a small price to pay having balls arrive to have families around, perhaps some of you should live in a field or an old folks home ! Could complain about clicking knitting needles then or drumming fingers .

That's a very unfair post. Are you saying people should be coming out every couple of minutes to lob a football back over the wall when a game is going on next door?

Cheerfully throwing balls back over the fence when you come across them, tolerating a couple of knocks on the door during the day looking for balls back and requesting that kids don't trample across your flower beds to retrieve balls seems fair to me.

Kids constantly pestering neighbours to throw their balls back or wrecking planted flowers as they jump over walls to retrieve them are annoying brats.

Mooney59 Mon 21-Jun-21 21:46:57

nipsmum

I wish balls were my only problem. We spent a good deal of money building a six foot high ranch style fence round the whole garden. The children next door climbed it so often it became a hazard. Did their parents offer to pay for the damage. No they didn't. They can ignored it completely.

Jesus Christ are you serious? 6 foot wall. Bloody hell. Thank God Wayne Rooney never had you as his neighbours. Neigh being operative word ffs

Mooney59 Mon 21-Jun-21 21:49:01

I bet you non throwing balls back netters all have dogs ?

ajswan Tue 22-Jun-21 00:49:44

Neilspurgeon0

Oh get a life, kids are not young and fancy free for very long, Chuck the balls back and have a joke with them about improving their dribbling skills, now they are too big for a bib! Kids actually love a bit of banter from a jokey adult.

No you get a life. I bet you do not have to suffer the horror of selfish kids and parents. People are entitled to sit in their gardens without the danger of being hit by footballs. Lazy couldn’t care less parents. I always took my children over the local park. Neighbours near me have installed a swimming pool and the noise is horrendous, one child has been screeching and screaming for years. Bring on the cold and rain. The absolute hell of a brat constantly kicking a ball against a fence, luckily not mine but a neighbours. No I wouldn’t throw them back, why should I.

nanna8 Tue 22-Jun-21 01:12:24

Send them back sailing over the fence but don’t be too particular about aiming them maybe ? Crash goes the greenhouse…ooops.

nipsmum Tue 22-Jun-21 09:52:20

It was a fence. We had children and a dog .They were not allowed to bother neighbours with balls and toys going into their gardens.

JANH Wed 23-Jun-21 19:16:29

I was sat at the kitchen table last Xmas, writing cards. A very, very loud thump on the patio doors, the football from next door. We can't sit on our decking, as balls keep coming over, hitting goodness knows what. Parents told, it goes quiet for a while and then starts up again. I cant want until the kids are ALL back in school. I would love some peace and quiet and ability to go outside without looking out for flying objects.