I am at my wits end with my 45 year old daughter.
Currently I have Special Guardianship of my 2 granddaughters for the past 4 years because of my daughter’s drug and drink addictions. I also have their brother, my 23 year old grandson living with me.
Throughout the years I have tried to support her and her family before it came to this.
I am 68 years old, have been hospitalised twice this year with COVID (double pneumonia) and have now been referred to the Long Covid clinic. I have 3 children, all the same parentage. One son is Asperger’s who still lives with me, my other daughter a well adjusted mother of 2 leading an independent life. I have a good relationship with both of them.
During the court proceedings regarding my 2 granddaughters, it was advised by Children Services to give access to their mother only once a month, supervised.
Because I still love my daughter, and because she is 2 different people (one caring, thoughtful and pleasant) I have let her have almost unlimited access to my 7 year old granddaughter.
This child has little memory of ‘bad’ times with mum. The 16 year old does have memories and wants little to do with her mother. I have let my daughter come to my home and extended her every facility – food etc – and let her stay over quite often.
The problem is that every few days she ‘goes on one’ which is my term for her drugging and drinking sessions. When this happens she sends me the most abusive texts imaginable, accusing me as the reason for every bad thing in her life.
As a parent I feel a failure, though this child was my first born, eagerly awaited and much loved. She had the best childhood I could give her. She was absolutely beautiful. Had the world at her feet. Then met drugs.
After more than 20 years of trying, taking the abuse (and excusing it) I feel I’m done.
I’ve told her not to come to my house. I’ve told her to stay away from me.
I have continued to let her have limited access to my 7 year old granddaughter.
I guess I’m asking for affirmation as to whether I’m doing the right thing. Whether she’s here or not the pain persists.
