Online dating

I met a lovely man on POF. We've been courting 18 months now - he lives quite nearby, and we enjoy the time we spend together ? I would never marry again though, or even live with someone again. I love spending time with him, but like my own space too!

I was a single Mum for a lot of years and after being burned by previous partners I decided I didn’t need a man for anything
I had a decent job, a home and beautiful daughter, I could do all my own diy, from decorating to plumbing and tiling to building interior walls.
And I was very happy.
But in 2002 I had a cancer scare and it actually made me reassess my life, did I really want to spend my whole life on my own (my daughter would eventually grow up and live her own life.
I joined a dating site as I’m not a drinker etc so don’t go to pubs or clubs, didn’t do hobbies as I’d never leave my daughter with anyone except family.
So it was the only way to meet someone.
I had contacts from a few men, some idiots and only after one thing, a couple were really nice but there was no “spark”
Then a lovely guy contacted me. He gave me his phone number as he didn’t want me giving my number out so I could feel safe. We spoke for hours that night.
We met up one night for a drink somewhere busy ( again his care for me )
I just “knew” he was my “one”
We dated for a month, we moved in together although I kept my flat on for 6 months just in case.
He says the day he spoke to me on that first call, he told his parents “I’m going to marry that girl”
We have been together 19 years now and married for 16.
He is my soul mate, my best friend. And I am his.
You have to be very careful on these sites and be sensible.
But there is happy endings some times

Newquay that is horrendous. She lost everything ? Terrible.

I have given up online dating after being on Dating Direct and then POF. It is very easy to meet a large number of people (especially if you are prepared to travel), but to get to know someone is very difficult.
Last Summer it seemed like every other man on there had purchased a camper van and was going on dates nationwide.
Looking for women who were solvent that they could move in with.
It's very easy to get addicted to logging on the site often and think that you are missing out by coming off, but now a few months on I don't miss it.

Establish your standards and accept anything which don't match your own.

I was having an enjoyable chat with a chap not long after his marriage broke down. We had agreed to meet in a cafe with lovely views.

After one drink the waitress asked if we needed another [or anything else]. It had started to drizzle outside so I thought it would be good to stay in the cosy warm place.

However he chose to say 'No' without asking me. So that was that. He wanted to go back to his house to 'impress' me I think and told me how he was refusing to sell it so his ex wife would have to fight for her half.

Huge red flags, I walked away pdq. A friend of a friend he always came over as a mild, decent bloke before that. People are not always what they seem.

Too many swindlers and opportunists out there on the internet. Looking for lonely vulnerable women, and not forgetting men are also duped. You don’t need a man / woman to make your life complete.

I can't understand these people - men as well as women - who part with large sums of money to people they don't know. If I went on a first date and just had to buy my own coffee, the guy would be toast! I expect to be treated at the start.

Just googled it Plenty of Fish.

Sorry to spoil the fun though……

Derek

FannyC Dick pics,

pammie1 thank goodness you stepped in. No way would I be gullible, i cant understand these men and women who 'lend' these so called trustworthy 'love interests' £££££ when they havent so much as clapped eyes on him/her !

MissAdventure

D***k pics?

Derek? Dalek? Drunk?

Pammie1,
I am so glad your friend took notice of you and shut him down!!
I hope she is much more wary in future, and that she never lets on about her personal wealth to anybody else - it's her business, and hers alone!

Elizabeth27

If you meet someone in real life you know nothing about them at least meeting online you can speak for a while and do some research before meeting in person.

Not really - if it’s a scam you’ve already fallen for it before you meet.

Funnily enough-in these strange times-my eldest DGD went online. She immediately sussed out a couple of losers but got on well with one. They met up halfway and got on well then. Both professional folk who were very cautious. He came to visit and our DD and her DH liked him; he came again and we were introduced too-found him very personable. DGD went to visit him-and was put up by his GP. All going well.
A few years ago a sister in law, divorced and desperate for love met up with a chap from the local paper, married him within 8 weeks having sold her house to buy a joint house with him. She lost everything! We met him-after the wedding-could have told her straight away he was a loser ?

If you meet someone in real life you know nothing about them at least meeting online you can speak for a while and do some research before meeting in person.

Well we haven’t heard what the OP date was yet! Tell us more. I agree with the other posters but I know at least 3 other happily married couples who met online. It worked for them.

I would say keep your wits about you, meet up in populated places that you pick. Get to know him slowly. Get to know their family and friends. Where they work etc. Don’t fall for any sob stories and above all NEVER EVER part with any money.

Anybody genuine will be happy to take things slowly and not be pushy.

Yes some horrendous tales but also some good ones.

The ball is in your court. Your control.

Don’t be so desperate that you ignore any warning signs.

Good luck ?

A friend went on a widowed and divorced dating site last year. She clicked on a photo of someone who I thought was impossibly good looking and was talking to him for ages online. She said he was really romantic - had been widowed and was looking for real love again. Supposedly working on a building project in Dubai and earning bucketfuls of money - she displayed all the signs of being in love. One day she got a message from him asking her to contact him on WhatsApp because he was wary that their conversations were being monitored by site mediators and he wanted a ‘proper’ conversation. When she contacted him via WhatsApp he told her his contract was ending in a week or so and he wanted to send a package home, but there would be no one there to sign for it, as he was working away - asked could he send it to her and collect it when he got home. In the same email he asked could she wire him £5000 to tide him over until his payment for the contract was cleared into his bank. She was going to do it until I stepped in and showed her a YouTube post warning people against that very scam. She closed down the conversation, deleted WhatsApp and reported it to the police and the dating website. It turned out to be a scammer working from a base in India. You really do have to be so careful, these people are professionals and prey on the vulnerable and the lonely.

I just saw a trailer for a new documentary on Netflix called 'The Tinder Swindler'. It's about a man who extorted money of girls he met on the Tinder dating site. Anyone who is thinking of online dating should watch this first. It's on on 3 February and looks like it's going to be really good.

Not sure that’s a good idea. Have a couple of friends who met people on PoF and they were absolute losers - only after people with money and the means to support them and their questionable habits. One step up from Tinder.

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avitorl

Idiots?

Hahahaha

I don’t trust anybody online

Watch Click Bait on Netflix………..don’t trust online ‘friends’

Check he's not a scammer .... or someone else entirely.

Do not say how much you have or whether you own your own home.

I am surprised to find I have three acquaintances who have been take for a financial and emotional ride by online "friends". One was a a widower desperate for female company when his wife died, after a long and happy marriage. Conned out of 80000£ and he never even met his online "friend" IRL. Just online. All three were normally intelligent people but desparate for affection and support.