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AIBU

Siblings using the same spoon and cup at the same time

(59 Posts)
Gigi27 Fri 23-Jul-21 18:08:43

My daughter lets her two daughters eat and drink from the same cup and cutlery at the same time. I suggested to her that it would be better if they had their own for each meal. My daughter replies by saying it’s only family germs,but they seem to pass colds and sniffles to each other!
Does anyone have any suggestions how I can make her see my concerns, or is this the way they parent these days?

V3ra Sat 24-Jul-21 00:41:50

When my older children were about four and two years old, I'd give them both the same nutritionally balanced meal.
One of them would eat all the veg, one would eat the meat (or whatever). Then rather than waste what had been left, I'd swap their plates over and they'd each finish the other one's dinner.
They've both grown up with a strong interest in food and healthy eating.
Small children can be funny creatures ?

Hithere Sat 24-Jul-21 01:49:02

It is none of your business.

Your daughter is super busy with 2 kids under 3, this is a blip in her radar.

I am sure that the kids share toys, so germs are everywhere.

Using separate cutlery wont make much of a difference.

vegansrock Sat 24-Jul-21 08:47:49

Children that age usually want whatever the other ones got - the red/ blue cup / whatever. Maybe it’s a way of avoiding a meltdown. I’m sure they won’t be doing it in a few years time.

timetogo2016 Sat 24-Jul-21 08:51:17

Table manners springs to mind.

M0nica Sat 24-Jul-21 09:02:19

I wouldn't be worried about hygiene, I doubt they will catch anything deadly from each other.

It is just the negative affect on the children if others see them doing it outside their own home.

But I was not a great baby book reader in my child rearing days, but I do remember a phrase from the Spock book on potty training and parents worries about it being slow or difficult. 'How many 13 year olds do you see in nappies?'

This is a phase, they will growout of it.

Shelflife Sat 24-Jul-21 09:18:09

A bit unusual , however not a major issue in the grand scheme of things. Ideally I think each child should have it's own bowl/ plate and cutlery. It does seem an odd thing to do and fail to imagine what the reason is !? You have mentioned it to your daughter so best not to pursue the issue. ' No doubt this practice will pass in time. It is difficult when our adult children parent in ways we find hard to understand. The most important thing is to not allow this to develop into an awkward situation between you and your daughter. As the years go by there will be times when your daughter will need your support and understanding as her children develop. I think it is very important that you preserve your relationship for the future. Don't worry.

allium Sat 24-Jul-21 09:21:24

Don't think there is much to worry about.

trisher Sat 24-Jul-21 10:24:32

I agree with vegansrock she's just found a way to stop those minor quarrels about who has what. It will only work for a while anyway and then they'll want their own, or grown up ones!

maddyone Sat 24-Jul-21 10:33:28

When my daughter was weaning her twins, she had one bowl of food and one spoon. A mouthful for him, then a mouthful for her. They both had finger foods on their high chair tray. When they both had a bowl of food and spoon, she still had another spoon to use to help them both. When we did childcare we used her system.

Shel69 Sat 24-Jul-21 10:34:33

I did this with my triplets but when they were able to hold a spoon they had their own, when they were toddling they usedto picked up each others drink bottles, can't see how they shared at that age mine wouldn't be that patient to wait for the others

Caleo Sat 24-Jul-21 11:00:43

I hope my family all know not to feed their dogs from their forks at table, when they are out in polite company.

MawBe Sat 24-Jul-21 12:22:57

Caleo

I hope my family all know not to feed their dogs from their forks at table, when they are out in polite company.

Surely not a problem as long as the dogs know the correct cutlery to use?

Caleo Sat 24-Jul-21 12:26:05

MawBe, smile smile

Nannan2 Sat 24-Jul-21 12:37:29

Can't be too careful though these days- what if one had caught the dreaded covid bug ,at nursery perhaps? She wouldn't want it passing to youngest, would she? This could make her lax in other ways also.Isn't that how kids learn about 'proper' grown up eating, by having their own plates, bowls, cutlery, cups etc? If it was just a plate of sandwiches maybe yes, as they could take what they wanted, but proper meals,then no.Seems odd.

Nannan2 Sat 24-Jul-21 12:40:14

*is'nt it.typo

Franbern Sat 24-Jul-21 13:13:17

At such a young age I really cannot see that it matters at all. People are becoming obsessed about germs etc. When I had my twins, I always used one bowl and one spoon when t hey were starting on solids, That was nearly fifty years ago. They managed to grow up into good professional jobs and learnhow to us ecurtlery and crockery appriately. 1 & 3 years old are still babies, let them be.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 24-Jul-21 14:02:19

Children in the same family or later on in the same classroom will pass colds to each other whatever you do or don't do.

You have expressed your concern, now leave the matter be.

It sounds a very odd idea to me, but it is quite decidedly one of the things a grandmother should not comment upon unless asked for her opinion.

Lollin Sat 24-Jul-21 15:32:28

Me and mine have never shared then one extremely hot day out far from shops we managed to buy a few drinks with the pennies we had left. Needless to say we had an uncomfortable time sharing the bottles while my friend and her family were very comfortable doing so. I envied them.

Kali2 Sat 24-Jul-21 15:36:32

Most bizaree- I mean how difficult is it to provide a mug and knife and fork each??? Just don't get it.

But you have to keep out of it- you've said it once or twice, and it hasn't worked. So becoming a 'thing' between you, and you have to butt out.

Kali2 Sat 24-Jul-21 15:36:53

How old are they btw?

Tricia247uk Sat 24-Jul-21 15:44:31

TBH, at their age I don't see it as a problem. Coughs and colds are readily passed around families, especially at this age and separate cutlery etc. won't change that. It's not a case of 'the way they parent these days'; this is your daughter and grandchildren you're talking about! You raised your children the way it suited you-your daughter is raising her children the way it suits her. Neither way is right or wrong. Personally I think you should be less critical and more supportive. Parenting is tough without criticism from family members.

MerylStreep Sat 24-Jul-21 15:54:48

Franbern

At such a young age I really cannot see that it matters at all. People are becoming obsessed about germs etc. When I had my twins, I always used one bowl and one spoon when t hey were starting on solids, That was nearly fifty years ago. They managed to grow up into good professional jobs and learnhow to us ecurtlery and crockery appriately. 1 & 3 years old are still babies, let them be.

Franbern
Phew!!!!
You were lucky ? insert sarcastic emoji here ?

FannyCornforth Sat 24-Jul-21 17:19:31

Kali2

How old are they btw?

3 years and 1 year old

Callistemon Sat 24-Jul-21 19:41:36

It seems odd to me because you wouldn't be able to judge how much food each child was eating.
Surely the little one is in a high chair?

The germs issue is not concerning because they'll pass germs between themselves anyway.

Kali2 Sat 24-Jul-21 19:46:01

At school, post war, we were all given Cod Liver oil, on a big spoon, We queued up and had a spoon each - yep, same spoon.

Irrelevant I know, but your post reminded me of this.