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AIBU

AIBU unnecessary noise from phones etc on transport and in restaurants

(48 Posts)
Modompodom Sun 05-Sep-21 16:51:14

Does anyone else find people listening to music clips or holding video/speaker calls in public places too much, and there is very little respect to others regarding this. I have been in restaurants where I have heard two way calls being held on the opposite side of the restaurant, or people watching videoclips on public transport or in restaurants. I might add that these are not young people - they usually use air pods. I have gone over to people and asked them to turn down the volume a bit. Yesterday I was sitting next to a lady on a bus who had a child of about 4 years old watching cartoons on an iPad with volume at full blast. After about 15 minutes I asked her if the mother could reduce the volume, but she said no, because the child would cry. My grandson has always worn headphones since he was a toddler, even in the house, why can’t other children? Am I being OTT about this?

GagaJo Sun 05-Sep-21 16:57:17

I feel exactly the same way you do Modompodom. I can't bear a lot of noise and my DD has had to adjust to me. My DGS hasn't yet, but won't have much of a choice, if they continue to live with me.

I do, however, know that my noise aversion is my issue, not that of others. It's linked to conditions such as dyslexia (I have a big family history of this) or autism. It took me a long time to work out what the issue was, and it wasn't until I was talking to a profession Special Educational Needs teacher about my father/brother/neice/daughter who are all dyslexic, that she mentioned it.

Despite that, I DO think people should have more consideration for others. But I also know I am extra sensitive to noise.

Gwyneth Sun 05-Sep-21 17:10:17

Yes I do too. I’ve been on trains where people using a mobile speak so loudly that you can hear clearly what they are saying the other end of the carriage and they go on for ages. Also I agree, children playing games with volume on full blast. So inconsiderate of fellow travellers.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 05-Sep-21 19:07:54

I read recently about a chap on the train, holding a loud conversation with his partner, telling her all about his day extremely loudly. One lady got up, walked over to the chap, leaned in closely and said ‘darling do come back to bed’.
I wonder what happened next?

annodomini Sun 05-Sep-21 19:54:04

Cross Country Trains which I use to travel to see my sons' families, used to have a quiet carriage but this disappeared. I suspect they just found it too hard to enforce.

Mollygo Sun 05-Sep-21 23:02:07

Oopsadaisy1

I read recently about a chap on the train, holding a loud conversation with his partner, telling her all about his day extremely loudly. One lady got up, walked over to the chap, leaned in closely and said ‘darling do come back to bed’.
I wonder what happened next?

I wonder too. One GD says, if they’re sitting by you, just join in the conversation, with comments like, ‘Oh I think you’re right’ or Really? or ‘Don’t do that’. She reckons it shuts them up. I’d be worried about getting punched.

Silverbridge Sun 05-Sep-21 23:16:32

It's intrusive noise pretty much everywhere that I find more and more difficult to tolerate.

My doctors' surgery blares out Radio 1 into the waiting area. Hospitals are noisy enough places as it is. Now, individual rooms have wall-mounted TVs with sound bleeding though to the next room where someone may be trying to sleep. Shared bays have individual patient consoles. Find yourself in a shared bay with patients all with their console tuned to a different channel is akin to bedlam. I have raised this issue with hospitals, arguing that patients need rest but they seem to regard entertainment as more important.

Whatever happened to reading a book?

Beswitched Mon 06-Sep-21 21:03:21

I was having breakfast in a hotel a couple of years ago and was wondering where the loudly wailing baby was as I couldn't see them anywhere. Transpired it was a mum with her phone showing video footage of her child to each of her friends as they arrived for breakfast. Absolutely no awareness of or consideration for anyone else in the room.

Dickens Mon 06-Sep-21 21:23:25

Silverbridge

It's intrusive noise pretty much everywhere that I find more and more difficult to tolerate.

My doctors' surgery blares out Radio 1 into the waiting area. Hospitals are noisy enough places as it is. Now, individual rooms have wall-mounted TVs with sound bleeding though to the next room where someone may be trying to sleep. Shared bays have individual patient consoles. Find yourself in a shared bay with patients all with their console tuned to a different channel is akin to bedlam. I have raised this issue with hospitals, arguing that patients need rest but they seem to regard entertainment as more important.

Whatever happened to reading a book?

... During a recent stay at my local hospital I was moved from the surgical ward to a geriatric ward as the bed was needed for a recent surgical arrival, I was on the mend, and there was a spare bed in the 'gerry' ward.
When I arrived I noticed that the room was full of sleeping old ladies, some were in a deep sleep. But blaring from the wall was a TV tuned to a radio station out of which a female voice was in full warble screeching something about 'lurve' in that sort of panting, breathless way they do when they're reaching the finale.
I found it both amusing and depressing at the same time. I asked the nurse if she could turn it down as I was quite close to the speakers - she couldn't, and neither could she turn it off because the patients "liked to have some music in the ward".
My doctor's waiting room also has Radio One. The room is filled with the over 50s mostly - Radio One is aimed at the 15-29 age group.
I find it intrusive and totally inappropriate TBH... where did this come from - this idea that every waiting area in hospitals and surgeries has to be filled with the noise from various radio stations?
... back to the geriatric ward... I did eventually manage to turn off the sound. One elderly lady woke up (this was around 9pm) and thanked me for getting rid of the "wailing" that kept waking her up every time she dozed off!

Ellet Tue 07-Sep-21 11:22:57

I feel the same about excessive noise from other people. Recently I joined in a conversation with a table of incredibly loud men while in Cornwall. The tables were very well spaced because of social distancing. They weren’t particularly young, probably mid 30’s. The conversation, dominated by an American in the group was quite inappropriate for family dining. Eventually 2 of their party realised I was making comments about their conversation and did tell the loudest to be quiet. My husband was mortified when I started commenting but I felt it needed someone to intervene. I feel I’m less likely to be attacked than a man. Several other diners thanked me but why didn’t they say anything to the men?

Flakesdayout Tue 07-Sep-21 11:25:31

I do not think you are being unreasonable. I had this once when I had a Hospital stay and the lady in the next bed would watch musical films during the evening on her Ipad.. Luckily I had headphones. My OH has a real bad habit of listening to bike racing and on his phone and the buzzing noise drives me nuts, I give a few large huffs and he gets the hint. I think he thinks what he likes I do but we do have very different tastes,

absthame Tue 07-Sep-21 11:26:05

GagaJo, I have the same issue, same cause, but find treble more distressing than mid and bass tones. Unfortunately the poor quality mobile devices throw out more higher pitches than low so they rattle my head.

BelindaB Tue 07-Sep-21 11:54:17

I feel the same - modern life seems to be built on noise! I don't even own a mobile 'phone etc (personal choice, I think they are a dreadful, modern disease).

I will never get used to seeing people walking about and apparently, talking to themselves!

I have no qualms about asking for music etc to be turned down and will not accept excuses. If on public transport - why didn't you speak to the driver?

I can remember once, whilst on public transport, there were a group of young men talking loudly and using very, very crude language. I caught the eye of one, raised an eyebrow and he immediately shushed his friends up. If he hadn't, I'd have spoken to them.

chrissyh Tue 07-Sep-21 11:54:19

DH & I were out with some acquaintances and stopped for lunch. I sat next to a lady and halfway through lunch her mobile rang. Apparently, it was her granddaughter and instead of saying sorry I'm having lunch out so I'll call you back, she propped her phone up against something, put it on loudspeaker and continued to have a long conversation. She seemed quite unaware that people were looking at her.

glammanana Tue 07-Sep-21 11:56:08

Coming home on public transport yesterday from the eye clinic (I wasn't allowed to drive my car) I had the misfortune to sit in front of two women about mid 20s I would guess.
I can tell you chapter and verse what they did over the week-end how much they drank followed by their bedroom antic's all in my opinion TMI.
They had no verbal filter or respect to the other passengers I was in no mood to confront them as I was in discomfort after my procedure at the clinic normally I would have told them to keep quiet.

GoldenAge Tue 07-Sep-21 12:01:25

Modompodom - I too hate the noise of somebody's video game when I can't get away from it and believe that certainly on public transport there should be a ban on any noise coming from mobile phones. Many years ago there were signs on London tubes asking people to keep the sound down even when people were using earphones as the sound could leak through and reach others. But I disagree with your suggestion that children should wear earphones. They shouldn't because it's dangerous and unless the earphones have the sound level permanently adjusted to be within acceptable levels, children may endanger their hearing. The posters on London transport asking earphone users to adjust their sound so that it doesn't seep through is a good example of how people themselves can't judge whether what they're feeding into their ears is above or below the recommended levels for safety. Maybe you should check the decibel level on your grandchild's earphones. I also wonder what's the problem with asking a child to look out of the window when on public transport instead of having to have wall-to-wall entertainment.

Growing0ldDisgracefully Tue 07-Sep-21 12:02:57

I find more of an annoyance, the people who hold long conversations on mobile phones in the supermarket, and in doing so park themselves in front of shelves, stopping other people accessing them.
I also very much dislike the piped music in supermarkets. Why do they do that?

JaneJudge Tue 07-Sep-21 12:06:38

Did you ever see Bob Mortimer do train guy? grin

There are quite a few but it's hilarious scroll down for the video

I think these kinds of people irritate the rest of us fwiw

grandtanteJE65 Tue 07-Sep-21 12:08:54

Noise pollution started in the seventies when any self-respecting supermarket or department store played "muzzak" over their in-house radio.

It has got steadily worse since then. When the mobile phone came along, people started holding telephone conversations anywhere and everywhere.

I have, and this is perfectly true, been forced to listen in a railway carriage to another woman's lurid description of her gynaeological problems! How anyone could bring herself to discuss those in a crowded rush-hour train I do not know.

Now we have phones, laptops with the sound turned up and tablets in trains, cafés etc.

I find the "png" phones and computers make when a new message arrives equally annoying, but no-one else seems to turn them off.

Perhaps we should start trying to make people aware that steady background noise is not particularly good for you. Obviously the louder it is, the worse damage it can do, but even a low level of continuous noise is tiring and not only for the dyslexic, but for the rest of us as well.

Alioop Tue 07-Sep-21 12:09:40

I have a friend who puts her phone on loud speaker when I call her and it drives me bonkers. I have her husband chipping in at times, her grandchild screaming or her having a conversation with him and totally ignoring me on the other end. I leave my phone in the house when I take my dog a walk so I get peace from the stupid thing bleeping all the time and if I turn it down I get told off for not answering the darn thing. My house phone is long gone so I need my mobile, but some days I'd gladly put it down the loo and flush.

Nanny27 Tue 07-Sep-21 12:22:21

My bedroom faces the street and I heve been woken up in the small hours on more than one occasion when the guy opposite has a very loud conversation on his phone. From my bed I can hear every word from the person on the other end of the phone.

PinkCosmos Tue 07-Sep-21 12:30:33

I hate it when people put you on loud speaker when they are talking to you - especially if they don't tell you.

Is there not such thing as a private conversation these days angry

annodomini Tue 07-Sep-21 12:36:20

My friend and I were in a café this morning, talking quietly to each other but audibly enough to be heard. Other customers were mostly outside in the sun, but a pair of young women could not keep their voices down. Their conversation was raucous, ear-splitting and relevant only to themselves. No phones were involved, but I wonder if they speak so loudly because that is how they speak on their phones. We could hear each other we didn't need to hear them as well.

tictacnana Tue 07-Sep-21 13:22:30

My OH listens to music and video clips on his phone whilst I’m trying to watch tv. It is REALLY ANNOYING and I often go into the dining room to get away from it and he thinks I am being unreasonable! They say tv has killed the art of conversation . NO.... it’s the mobile phone!

Lucca Tue 07-Sep-21 13:55:51

“ Yesterday I was sitting next to a lady on a bus who had a child of about 4 years old watching cartoons on an iPad with volume at full blast. ”
Why ??? Can’t they look out of the window ? Have a chat ?