Boys in ladies changing rooms at the gym.

I don’t usually use a cubicle to change at the gym, but I’m good at manœuvering my towel. Nevertheless when I heard a chorus of “Hi Mrs A” from Mrs X’s 3 sons, 5, 7, and 9 on our changing rooms, a cubicle became essential! I teach/taught all of them, but they don’t need to see my delectable body and I certainly don’t want them discussing it in the playground!

We took our children to the leisure centre they had cubicles. I would not let either of my children go to the toilet unattended. I went to the museum and took them to the toilet with me. They were aged 3 and 7 the security guard told me off. I said no way would he be going to the men's. Not long after that my son decided he would go on his own but I stood outside.
I was a 10 yr old victim of relatives sick behaviour. No way on this earth would I have given anyone the opportunity to abuse my children.

your comment made me remember about changing rooms when at school. I attended an all girls school but we had games of an afternoon one day a week, The man looking after the sports field looked after his grandson and every week his grandson would "accidentally " ( no doubt persuaded to enter) come into the changing rooms and the pervert of a grandfather had to follow him in to collect him . If kids are small then there is a risk of them running wild into dressing areas with curtains etc. At least older kids usually have a better understanding of social distance

It’s not about dressing or undressing themselves.
Or about the class of the members. Look at the news most the predators are from the upper classes.

Even with all women there, I don’t strip off butt naked I put a towel round me I wouldn’t inflict my ass on the world ???

It just struck me that age 7 my husband went to boarding school That doesn’t make that right for everyone I wouldn’t or couldn’t dream of sending a 7 year old to boarding school

But also I must have missed the bit where the mother was dressing them … how old does a child have to be to dress and undress unaided reading back you just said she nabbed the cubicle and left the boys in the communal area so how did she dress them ?? ? or was that a throwaway remark
I think 10 is too old but maybe she just wasn’t confident enough to leave them on their own in the men’s area it’s a difficult one really
Personally if I was you I d just wait for a cubicle to be empty or cover up with a big towel and change under that

Many years ago, when our children were young, our local swimming pool changed from separate male and female changing areas to what we learned was called a village changing area. In other words, everyone uses the same space, but we are expected to change in closed cubicles. It is mandatory to wear swimming attire in the showers. While it was a bit of a surprise at the time, it solves the problems of what to do with younger children of the opposite sex to the accompanying parent, exposing children to inappropriate nudity and now, which changing room trans people should use. Why can't they all do that and save a lot of fuss?

Bluebelle It wasn’t so much a modesty issue!

Yes of course I am guessing their age but not based on height more on dress, demeanour, conversation etc.

There are cubicles but the mums nabbed those and left their boys in the communal area!
There was a little girl who seemed very disturbed at the boys presence.

The gym/pool is a very lovely members only country club, everyone is signed in, it’s as safe as you can get.

It just struck me that age 7 my husband went to boarding school and my youngest son boarded from 10/11, how old does a child have to be to dress and undress unaided?

Individual cubicles also remove any concerns about gender identity.
The pool I use is not very new - they have had this arrangement for years. It also means that if there is a gender-specific activity, all the cubicles are available.

You do lose the lovely 'communal' feel of a (women's) changing room, with its friendliness, a small disadvantage.

Actually, I do think issues around naked bodies are 'cultural' issues - but 'sniggering' about them will take a good few generations to breed out, so in the meantime we have to deal with it!

I personally have no problem about sending boys over 7 or so into male changing rooms (I have male children & GCs). There are enough kindly & helpful men to counter any concerns. I also think that all children need to be taught how to behave, look after themselves, and how to ask for help if needed.

Communal changing rooms are the problem. Most shops did away with them years ago and reverted to individual cubicles. Gyms and leisure centres need to do the same.

Life would be so much simpler if we were all naturists.

I was not pleased when semi -naked in the ladies changing room a mother took a forbidden shortcut to the downstairs cubicles families were supposed to use with two junior aged boys I taught; they sniggered the whole way through and back in school the next day.
Not a cultural thing, more to do with old-er age and modesty.
Gyms are encouraging family membership; provision for children's changing rooms is an issue they have to address.

But you are only guessing at the boys age sago you think he looked 9/10, maybe he wasn’t I had two grandsons who were really tall and well developed for their ages but didn’t make them any less vulnerable
Can’t you go in a cubicle yourself then no one boy girl or woman will see you getting changed ?

There are usually communal or family changing rooms. They should use that. I strip off in the ladies shower area and would not expect to see boys aged 7+ in there. I wouldn’t take my own sons into the designated ladies areas at that age, nor did I send them in to male areas unaccompanied. There is always a family friendly alternative!

Our leisure centre has family rooms, and cubicles. They are unisex, because we’re all behind closed doors. I have never used the gym showers for example...because they’re communal. I think just a small partition. The pool showers are just for rinsing off and doing hair. Swimming costumes stay on.

I think if it’s all cubicles, there’s no problem. I wouldn’t have wanted my children separate when they were that age.

I agree that under 10s are too young to be alone in a changing room.
I assume we are mainly women on GN.
Has anyone considered that adult males might also feel uncomfortable having a young unsupervised boy in the changing room with them? The risk of even the slightest accusation is there.

My son is 7 and I would not allow him alone in a changing room at 9.
He is still a child and the risk is to large.

My gym has separate facilities for the comfort of guests with disabilities (with rails, easier shower etc) that is pacious and private.
I was offered use of one of these spaces if not occupied. My gym offers it to help mixed age/sex families apparently. Might be worth asking?

Nannarose

My usual swimming pool has individual cubicles for all, with some larger ones for families / people who need assistance etc.

Same here saves any bother. Hopefully any newer swimming baths/gyms will adhere to these kind of models as it makes it all accessible, especially when you consider people with a range of disabilities too. A Mum or female carer with an adult son with learning disabilities for example

I might add that when we used to take our grandsons we all went into a family cubicle to change. Cubicles are also much better if the child wishes for privacy from his grandmother - off they go into their own cubicle. Job done?

It is just a cultural thing though isn’t it?

There is no reason why a pre-pubescent child should not see people of either sex unclothed, and imo they are better staying with their guardian than unsupervised with other adults.

Can quite see both points of view, I remember when my children got to the magic age of 7, the club I was a member at the time, designated that was the age when boys should no longer be in the women's changing room, personally I thought it too young to send a child of that age into the men's on their own. However, quite understand some women don't want a older male child around when they may be in a state of undress.

Also a problem for fathers of course when they are on their own with very young daughters and there isn't a family cubicle provision.
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Our gym has one big space for women to change. Women are often naked in there. Maybe some wouldn't care, maybe the boy wouldn't. Personally it seems odd to me.

It is a dilema! Individual family cubicles are the answer . I use the leisure centre regularly and wouldn't be happy to see a boy of ten in the ladies changing room. However , I can fully understand why a mother does not want her son alone in the make changing room - lots of reasons for a mother's anxiety about this . A leisure centre I don't use regularly has unisex cubicles, I had'nt realized that and as I exited my cubicle a man did the same in cubicle next to me. It did surprise me but on reflection surely this is the answer.

My usual swimming pool has individual cubicles for all, with some larger ones for families / people who need assistance etc.