People who talk about themselves all the time

Unfortunately I think about 80 %of people are like this .....so one sided ...I have few friends now but I'm happy

I know a few people like this - as much as they are good friends it does get a bit boring sometimes

I had a friend like that - someone I thought I was really close to. When she was going through a really painful divorce I spent hours listening to her trying my best to help (I had a baby and two small children at the time) I was happy to do anything I could because I thought we were real friends. When I was in the same predicament some years later I was very low and did contact her for support. When she answered the phone she didn't even ask how I was but launched into the latest dramas in her life. After a pause I explained why I was calling and she dismissed my problems with 'I know how that feels. It's nasty.' There was an awkward silence and I said I was sorry and that I didn't mean to call with my problems to which she replied coldly 'Oh, I think you did!' I was heartbroken but finally realised that, despite all her cooing about our friendship all I was to her was a pair of ears.

ninathenana

I have a friend like this.
She will ask about you and when you answer she will state some platitude and turn it back to her.
DH and DD ask why I'm still friends with her. She has a heart of gold

I have a friend exactly like this and she is kind and generous to a fault but always talks about herself and is not really interested in my point of view unless it is about her. She is writing her autobiography and is expecting me to be a proof reader. She is actually very good at writing but so far l have only managed three chapters. She has taken early retirement but I am still working and want to read for relaxation so prefer to make my own choice of reading.

Oh I know only too many of them unfortunately my Husband is one of them as long as he is the centre of attention that’s fine until somebody else tries to get a look in he then tries to hurry the person along so that he can continue about HIMSELF no wonder my hair has turned white frustration is a word I would use in daily context

I know lots like this (you don't notice it if the anecdotes are not well known to you, and they play verbal tennis OK). The good thing about even the worst bores is that they expect nothing more than a smile and nod from you...

we all know people like this,it can be irritating

In my experience people who do this are usually very lonely . They can be living alone, with no-one to talk to on a daily basis.

The other type who are guilty of it are the elderly who have health issues that take up their time and interest and make interacting with others harder than it formerly was.

How many of you have ever told these "friends" how self-centered their behaviour is, and how annoying or hurtful you find it?

Not many, I would think, I am sure you are all too polite to have done so. However, I was, once I had swallowed my hurt pride, grateful to a friend who many years ago told me I talked about myself in company without asking others anything about their lives.

I hope and believe that since that hint, I have remembered to ask others how they are and really listen to their replies, Perhaps we should be less hesitant to remind the "me - me- me" group that conversation is a two way street.

in the past, i used to have lots of people who did all the talking and taking! I took a hard look at myself and the people i was catering to! i decided to gain a balance and see what happened.I have lost 6 so called friends, over the past 5 years.I now have fewer friends, but there is a balance of concern for each other.
in everday times.obviously there is give and take when trouble strikes.
As the taoists would say, balance......

And people who, whatever's going on with you, always know someone who have it (whatever it is) a million times worse!

You Missadventure have the patience of a saint, I can't imagine the stress of being stalked in my own home. Sorry you have been poorly, and hope you feel better, especially after reading this thread!

We have one lady in our group who goes on endlessly about he relatively minor ailments. She told us that we couldn’t possibly understand as we are all so healthy. Unfortunately that simply isn’t true and she will never know because if anyone else mentions a health issue she launches into another speech about her own problems. We try to be sympathetic, but it’s wearing a bit thin now.

I have a friend who asks how I am, and then tops any reply with how she is, better/worse, if I tell her good news, she always has a “downer” ready. I’ve now got to the point that I’m bracing myself to see her because I know what will happen. Friendship? Hardly.

Dylant
How honest of you to admit that. ? I wish my ex friends daughter would tell her.

Alioop
If you see her coming get your phone out and be having an imaginary conversation.

Sometimes I catch myself doing this. I quickly ask how things are with them. Its being self aware.

I’m afraid that I tend to be the sort of person the poster despairs of. Since becoming aware of this (my daughter exclaiming in exasperation “it’s not all about you mum!” ) I’ve tried to listen more and not to steer the conversation back to myself. It’s hard to change the habits of a lifetime and as my mother was like this it goes back a long way….. you become like your mother, although I’m actively trying not to. The most annoying thing is that I am genuinely interested in other people and their lives, so it’s me who’s missing out!

* makes the other person feel more positive towards you. Sorry

I worked opposite a colleague for about four years. She was a lovely person but seemed quite lonely in her marriage. Because of this, I was happy to listen to her moaning about her husband, her sick mother etc. I learned lots of things about her and her extended family.

I don't think she even knew the names of my children, or even how many children I had. I don't recall her ever asking. I probably told her but I think it went in one ear and out of the other.

Maybe it is just me but I always try to remember what someone has told me previously e.g. new job, illness etc and ask about it when I see them.

I read in some psychology magazine that if you are shy just ask people about themselves. Everyone loves to talk about themselves and it make the other person feel more positive you.

I think the mindless droning has become worse because of all the Covid lockdowns. I WFH and don't especially miss the chatterboxes in the office.

Boz

I agree Maturefloosy about the age factor. Advice to pensioners; if anyone asks you how you are, don't tell them. They don't want a list of your ailments or your medication. Keep the conversation light and amusing, if you can.
Always remember that it is a great bonus to reach old age and welcome every day with joyful anticipation if you can.

Good advice Boz

Interesting story Calli I didn’t know goldfish leapt out of the bowl
Anyway more about me …

This thread actually makes me feel relieved that I don’t have any friends or neighbours like this. My neighbours say Hello but never get into conversation, though one lot did do bits of shopping for us during the first lockdown, but not a word since. I have realised I don’t have any friends, just acquaintances, so it is just a few words eg after choir practice. I have four people I thought were friends who I used to meet up with separately but not any more, it seems, thanks to Covid perhaps.
I think on reflection it is better this way than having to put up with so much selfcentredness,

Have you considered that whilst they are talking about themselves they are not talking about other people.

I had a best friend that I had lost touch with for many years.
We went on a night out and she just talked and talked. After a while, she stopped and asked about me. I told her that I had had a (quite) serious illness and tried to tell her about it. I didn’t get very far into my story before she began telling me (at great length), about someone she knew that had the same thing.
I never got to finish my story.
This happened so much over many meet-ups, that I realised she really didn’t want to know about me whereas I knew everything about her.
We used to be such good friends,too.
Haven’t seen her for a while now.
Still feel a bit sad about it.

Another thing I used to dislike is the continent/country boaster who tells you in detail about all the countries and cities they have visited and you just have to listen and hear stuff about places you often know more about anyway. I used to go quiet and just let them drone on and mostly they didn’t even notice. One was doing this and mentioned a place we actually used to live which was quite funny. Now we are older it doesn’t happen so much because everyone we know has travelled a lot anyway, often together.