To include son in will

I sure hope your son is on to you and denies you access to him and his family. The favouritism is disgusting.

When you pass, and this all comes to light - I’m positive he will cut ties with his sister and any memory you wanted to live on with your grandkids will be tarnish. They will never think of you fondly. And sil will be cut off as she should be.

My in-laws show this type of financial favouritism towards my sister in law. The good thing is it’s open and not a secret so my family stays far away and visits are limited and supervised.

Treat both your kids with respect.

Vanishing OP again ?

Am I the only person who feels this should have been -AIBU to exclude son from my will?

There is also the possibility he could contest the will.
Your dh and dd have worried about his wife having money what about the partners a sil who you helped her divorce?

Can I just flag up (again) the idea of Economic/Financial abuse?

Here is a link that may be helpful:
survivingeconomicabuse.org/

Yes, I can see that M0nica, because you understand something logically doesn't necessarily mean your heart understands.

I read an article some years ago by someone who had parents who thought like Martin Lewis. The daughter who had been succesful and acknowledged this, said it left her feeling alone and isolated as if her parents were rejecting her because she was successful.

She knew that wasn't so, and she was not talking about wanting an equal share in the estate. But she felt that her parents should have left her something and that by being cut out, so to speak without a shilling can have quite a devastating effect on the child excluded.

Martin Lewis had a question about inheritance on his show last night, one child was very successful and solvent, one child not so. Most voted for an equal 50/50 share, but Martin said if it was him, he would direct his money to where it was most needed.

I understand why some people doubt the veracity of this thread, and not just based on the story, but some years ago, when I worked for a charity for the elderly, I did have to visit and help a woman in a not dissimilar situation.

The OP must be enjoying this. Judging by the writing style of the two different threads it seems to be the same OP resurrecting the same old inheritance theme.

Considering her options carefully, I hope.

I still think this is made-up. Otherwise where is the original poster?

But your daughter has had more than one partner and divorced yet she gets far more than the son who has had a long term successful relationship. If you’re thinking about money why are you not penalising your daughters relationships. Your poor son. Your husband sounds vindictive and your daughter is taking after him.

I can’t imagine treating my children so differently. Why don’t you love them equally?

Maddie you asked and have had pages of response. I think you must realise you have to put things right with your son and family. You are not helpless you can do this, so first step is to get some independent legal advice.

You appear to have have been controlled and undermined by husband and daughter in the past and it may be hard to ‘defy’ your daughter, but if you are brave and determined enough you can and will, with support, resolve this.

Please do what you know is right. A step at a time, I wish you well.

After reading the initial post, which I do not remember, what I cannot understand is why she stayed in a marriage with such a nasty bullying unpleasant man.

Of course, you’re correct, but it’s all part of the money and family relationships thing.isn’t it ?

This is a different angle anyway Lucca so the OP technically hasn't even if the earlier thread is hers.

I do hope you don't also have the estrangement problem Maddiedu

crabbsie

Her previous thread about this is the below link, but puts a very different spin on the story.

www.gransnet.com/forums/estrangement/1294152-Son-and-DIL-wont-see-me-any-more?pg=2

Interesting that OP says she hasn’t posted about this before …..

What awful family relationships some people create for themselves !

maddie If you are still reading this and that previous thread is yours, go make things right with your son and DIL before it's too late. You have allowed your own child to be abused by your husband and daughter.

It's not too late to put it right.

Was this your thread in April Maddiedu?

Maddie, you are very lucky your son hasn't completely cut contact with you and his sister.

He and his life-long, loyal wife have been treated appallingly by your DH, DD and you.

Your DH was money obsessed and your DD is greedy and has always manipulated more than her share out of your family. She has a string of failed relationships. And she is now convincing you to leave more than half to her in your will.

Add up how much she's had out of your family. The greedy, grabbing one isn't your DIL, it's your DD. Deduct how much she's had already from her inheritance.

Put this right with your boy before you die.

Her previous thread about this is the below link, but puts a very different spin on the story.

www.gransnet.com/forums/estrangement/1294152-Son-and-DIL-wont-see-me-any-more?pg=2

It doesn't sound as if clinging on to this money is bringing you much happiness.
What a sad state of affairs, to come to this over something so unimportant.

FTR, I also remember a similar post about a daughter with many houses needing more

Maddiedu

When my DP died we kept the money to be split between DD and DS to help them into a property each. Then the prices rocketed and DS met DIL so DH and DD asked if it was ok to take the money to help DD. She was on her own and we could only help one.

After we gave her all of the money she met her now EX and when they divorced he took the majority of the house because DD was doing her master's and he was holding down 3 jobs to pay so DD left what was a beautiful 3 bed with much less than we put in. She needed more to get the second property as her EX was entitled to so much.

When DH DM died there was the issue with DD splitting from her child's father and so we helped her again.

I do like my DIL she's not a gold digger and I feel it's nothing personal against her, my DH wouldn't have wanted our money being enjoyed by anybody outside of the family, we worked hard to Save for our DC not other people's.

I will take advise about going to the solicitor and maybe I can honor my DH wishes by somehow excluding DIL from the money and nobody else.

I have discussed this with DD and she's offered to support me as she doesn't want to see her brother going without and her father's wishes ignored.

It sounds like you’ve had no trouble helping your daughter and her ex partners.

How cruel to give her the money your meant for your son.