Taking in parcels for neighbours

ElderlyPerson

I wonder how many of the people who are criticising me have read my first post in this thread carefully and thoroughly.

Well I thought I had. You talk about 'cap in hand' if you deigned to go and collect a parcel from a neighbour. On another thread I think I was the first to hope you were OK and send you best wishes, but obviously that consideration is not reciprocated. Your 'interpretation' of what it means when someone takes in a parcel for a neighbour seems somewhat extreme. Most people think it's a neighbourly thing to do, and the neighbour on getting a card saying 'parcel left at 51' would go and knock at number 51 and thank their neighbour for their kindness. You seem to assume the neighbour at 51 has somehow violated your transaction and therefor assumed full responsibility for ensuring you enjoy delivery of your parcel. I'm assuming you don't take parcels in for your neighbours?

Early

I live in a lane of twenty two houses. We all know one another by name and help one another out in all kinds of ways.

There’s a tendency now for delivery people to leave parcels on steps which I am quite happy for them to do for my stuff (it’s usually a book) but not everyone is, especially if they are out a work or it’s rainy. So we take stuff in for one another. A quick text or a note through the door so say I am holding something for them and they do the same if they see I am out. I drop the item round or they come and pick it up. It’s not a big thing, it really isn’t. So long as it isn’t a big thing like a fridge or a telly, that’s too big to handle. Help someone out and they will help you one day.

Yes, Hermes do the photo thing. It’s to do with their tracking to confirm someone had taken delivery of it to complete the transaction. I am ashamed that my grubby door mat is now recorded for posterity many times in the Hermes database.

I even have an arrangement with the woman who lives in the parallel lane, same house number. We often get misdeliveries for one another. I live in the Lane. She lives in the Drive. It happens. We’ve become friends as, thorough misdeliveries, we got to know which magazines we each subscibe to. We have similar tastes so now we exchange them with one another once read. She gets my Country Walking. I get her National Geographic. Win, win.

Brilliant post!

It was awkward when I moved into my new bungalow as my very first parcel to this address was delivered to my new neighbour. I was annoyed as I was in and can't understand why the DPD driver did it.

I am always happy to take in parcels for anyone, as we are rural collection from the PO is about twenty miles away.

This thread is also somewhat unusual as it is an AIBU thread.

But the question asked at the end of the first post is not an AIBU question. The question implicity assumes the questioner is being readsonable.

But what is the AIBU question?

It like when the then government asked about whether to remain in the European Union and implicitly assumed what answer would be given in reply.

ElderlyPerson
Out of interest how much interaction do you have with your neighbours, if any ?

I wonder how many of the people who are criticising me have read my first post in this thread carefully and thoroughly.

The deliveryman is not breaking the rules if he leaves your parcel with a neighbour unless you have given specific instructions that he is not to do so. It is normal practice.

In my little run of houses we all take in parcels for each other, if needed. Theproblem for people who are out at work, is the difficulty being in can cause. None of us makes a habit of it, but parcels get delayed or come a day sooner or later or something takes one away from home at short notice.

I hve always found that a little reciprocal friendliness and accommodation makes ife so much mor pleasant.

If I was taking in parcels for someone who never collected them. I would just tell them outright that I couldn't continue to do that, if they did not collect the parcel themselves as soon as they got home. Said with a smile, they would probably do as assed and if not, you would just refuse to accept the parcels.

This thread has made me think. I’ve always wondered how it is that people die and their mummified bodies lie in their home for years and years before being found. I’m starting to understand how it can happen.

I often take in parcels for my neighbour, our local delivery people know I’m usually at home and I don’t mind. I wouldn’t be able to take the parcels to them due to my physical impairments. Fortunately my neighbours are not too precious to come and collect them, and they would take parcels in for me if necessary. They have also helped me in other ways. Sorry, but I think your attitude stinks ElderlyPerson.

I take in plenty of parcels in for our younger neighbours who both work 24/7 and are so friendly and polite.
My other next door neighbours who are elderly and a bit odd, accepted my post when the new postman handed them the wrong bundle and opened my personal letters from my NHS gynaecologist and a new dressing gown from the white company and got BROWN finger marks on it

That presumption is wrong. It has been known for a driver who has a parcel for each of two houses near each other to go to one of the houses and try to leave them both there so as to avoid going to two houses. Rare but it has happened.

Really? I’ve never heard of that.

And some people deem nobody at home if nobody is there within about five seconds.

Why would a driver only wait five seconds, then go to all the effort of going to another house, where they might have to wait another 5/10/60 seconds for someone to open the door, then explain what was going on, then go back to the first house to leave a notification card?

Could not agree more, Maw. Coincidentally, just as it was getting dark this evening, a young delivery driver, car stacked with Amazon parcels to deliver, got a flat tyre outside. Within minutes, one neighbour had bright lights in place, another helped him jack up the car to change the tyre. I made cups of tea. It's what you do although I accept that not everyone is lucky to have such supportive communities.

Happy to take in parcels for neighbours and my neighbours reciprocate. Its all about being neighbourly for me

It is priceless to have good neighbours but along with that goes being a good neighbour doesn’t it?
My neighbours have been a huge support o me over the years.
Since Paw died I have had to call on “masculine” help on occasions as I am rubbish with dead or dying wildlife and I have had a dead hedgehog, a nearly dead rat and assorted bird corpses in varying stages of destruction (victims of a bird of prey), also a flooded downstairs loo and what seemed like a power cut only affecting my house, so it is good to be able to reciprocate by doing my best to be a good neighbour to them

ElderlyPerson

Rosie51

We are known for being willing to take in a parcel for the neighbours. The last lot told the people who bought their house that they'd have no problems with missed deliveries! I'm happy to take a parcel in, always ask the delivery driver to leave a note telling them where it is. I do expect people to come and collect their parcel, and it does annoy me a bit the house across the road never do, so we're back and forth knocking to see if they're in, sometimes for a couple of days. Of course there's rarely anybody about when we get an attempted delivery while we're out, but that's life.
ElderlyPerson I'm sorry but I find your attitude very mean spirited. Your neighbour will have thought they were being helpful accepting your parcel, maybe it was something you really needed, and they'd save you the job of either going to the sorting office or arranging a re-delivery. If I thought the neighbours across the road felt as you do I'd never take in another parcel for them! As it is they seem grateful enough when we do catch them.

In my opnion you have no basis to be annoyed. Either do it with happiness or do not get involved. If you choose to get involved then you are voluntarily taking on the responsibility of the delivery job.

I see it more as taking on the role of being a holding place, not a delivery service.
That person cannot get involved in my private transaction then expect me to go to them cap in hand. what a very strange attitude, lacking in any appreciation that somebody tried to do you a kindness. I really cannot see what is 'cap in hand' about knocking, saying 'thanks so much for taking that in' and collecting your own parcel.

Being the oldest and longest living in our cul de sac we take in parcels for lots of the neighbours who are young and out at work.

We have most of their mobile numbers and I just text them to say we have their parcel waiting.

We have taken in one electric bike, a large bbq, specialise drugs for our neighbour with ms, DH gives free planning advice to numerous neighbours about their proposed extensions,

We are a lovely small community here who are equally good to us, including a free holiday at a seaside holiday flat. Lockdown has brought us all together.

I would be happy to take in neighbour's parcels but this one took advantage.
She ordered online knowing full well that she would not be home.
I was nearly always home but have to go down 2 flights of stairs when the doorbell rings and the parcels were never for me.
This is why i asked her to have them delivered to her work address. She didn't mind. She had never thought her constant parcels were a nuisance.

I've taken a lot of parcels in for neighbors. I always take it to them as soon as I see they're home. Usually I catch them on the way to their door. I won't be taking in any for one of them though as they're rude and selfish and we don't speak now. But I wouldn't wait for them to come and retrieve it.

most people are texted with delivery time slots or tracking details if online and so know when to expect their parcel these days.

I live in a lane of twenty two houses. We all know one another by name and help one another out in all kinds of ways.

There’s a tendency now for delivery people to leave parcels on steps which I am quite happy for them to do for my stuff (it’s usually a book) but not everyone is, especially if they are out a work or it’s rainy. So we take stuff in for one another. A quick text or a note through the door so say I am holding something for them and they do the same if they see I am out. I drop the item round or they come and pick it up. It’s not a big thing, it really isn’t. So long as it isn’t a big thing like a fridge or a telly, that’s too big to handle. Help someone out and they will help you one day.

Yes, Hermes do the photo thing. It’s to do with their tracking to confirm someone had taken delivery of it to complete the transaction. I am ashamed that my grubby door mat is now recorded for posterity many times in the Hermes database.

I even have an arrangement with the woman who lives in the parallel lane, same house number. We often get misdeliveries for one another. I live in the Lane. She lives in the Drive. It happens. We’ve become friends as, thorough misdeliveries, we got to know which magazines we each subscibe to. We have similar tastes so now we exchange them with one another once read. She gets my Country Walking. I get her National Geographic. Win, win.

Rosie51

We are known for being willing to take in a parcel for the neighbours. The last lot told the people who bought their house that they'd have no problems with missed deliveries! I'm happy to take a parcel in, always ask the delivery driver to leave a note telling them where it is. I do expect people to come and collect their parcel, and it does annoy me a bit the house across the road never do, so we're back and forth knocking to see if they're in, sometimes for a couple of days. Of course there's rarely anybody about when we get an attempted delivery while we're out, but that's life.
ElderlyPerson I'm sorry but I find your attitude very mean spirited. Your neighbour will have thought they were being helpful accepting your parcel, maybe it was something you really needed, and they'd save you the job of either going to the sorting office or arranging a re-delivery. If I thought the neighbours across the road felt as you do I'd never take in another parcel for them! As it is they seem grateful enough when we do catch them.

In my opnion you have no basis to be annoyed. Either do it with happiness or do not get involved. If you choose to get involved then you are voluntarily taking on the responsibility of the delivery job.

I have a tacit agreement with my neighbour that we will take in each other's packages. Why on earth not? There hasn't been much to-ing and fro-ing since lockdowns began, since it seems that couriers have at last found out where her safe place is, and I'm at home more often than not, though out and about more than last year.

ElderlyPerson

SueDonim

If a parcel came for me, even pre-pandemic, if it had been taken to another house not at my request I would not go and ask for it.

Presumably a parcel only gets taken elsewhere because the named recipient isn’t available to take delivery. To not go and collect the parcel seems to be cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face.

It’s give and take here, our three houses all take in parcels for each other. It’s no big deal and gives us a chance to catch up on news, especially in winter when we don’t see our neighbours so often.

That presumption is wrong. It has been known for a driver who has a parcel for each of two houses near each other to go to one of the houses and try to leave them both there so as to avoid going to two houses. Rare but it has happened.

And some people deem nobody at home if nobody is there within about five seconds.

I’m very surprised by this.
Couriers (since the pandemic- maybe before) will photograph your parcel on your doorstep or in the ‘safe place” you have opted for as an alternative if you are out. This photograph will then be on your email to say the parcel has been delivered.
As shown here

Well, I guess I'm very lucky not to have you as my neighbour, elderlyperson!

My neighbour is more than happy to help out and we end up having a natter and everyone is happy.

Just try it sometime. It might make you happy.

I’ve noticed sometimes when I order online that the company will email me to say it’s been left with a neighbour. They don’t leave a card. So unless I actively check my emails I’m not aware I’ve missed a delivery and my package is with a neighbour.