Taking in parcels for neighbours

MerylStreep

ElderlyPerson
i was told such a thing is unlikely
How about this scenario.
Delivery driver wearing an Amazon tea shirt approaches house with parcel.
Door opens and driver pushes his way in and attacks woman.
2nd woman comes to help she too is attacked.
3rd woman comes downstairs and too is attacked.
Driver rushes into lounge and grabs what looks like a hard drive.
Driver leaves property.
Owner of property is alerted of attack. Because house had cctv everywhere there was a very clear picture of the attacker.
Owner of property quickly puts this cctv image of the attack on FB.
Attacker sees this and flees with his wife ( very quickly) to Romania.
I would like to know your honest opinion of this bizarre scenario.

This is a real life scenario - or very similar to one I heard reported on local radio just yesterday.

Alright, a scenario. She lives alone. She ordered some underwear mailorder. The delivery driver has left it with the man in the house opposite. She knows that his wife fled to a refuge. The delivery driver has given him an excuse to interact with her. She is worried. What does she do? Would she ever wear that underwear as she knows it has been in his house with him? She looks from her window at his house and knows her parcel is in there

So, would she prefer it if this neighbour delivered it to her house then? No answer to get over the fear in the scenario described really but it all seems to be getting a bit complicated ...I imagine thousands of parcels are left with neighbours every day, the majority I would guess are picked up by the person the parcel is meant for, probably less are left for the "receiver" to deliver! I am amazed how long this thread has gone on for with such complicated variations on a theme, for such a simple every day occurrence

Well it is not about me. The thread asks AIBU and my opinion is that if someone takes in a parcel then if it is by request of the recipient then an arragement should be agreed up front as to how the parcel will get to the recipient.

However, if the person has been cold called by a delivery person and has voluntarily got involved I consider that the onus is to follow through and deliver it, not get annoyed that someone has not come to them and asked for it and then had to get it to their own home, even if he or she has issues over lifting it and carrying it, as the wish was for it to be delivered to his or her doorstep from where it could be slid inside and unpacked.

I consider that my view that if people choose with no obligation to do so to take in a parcel when asked by a delivery person then it is for them to deliver it and have no grounds for annoyance if the recipient does not come to their home and ask for it.

I have been criticised for having this opinion and exyension has been made as to lots of other things about me.

Yet from my point of view it is no good taking on a job with no obligation to do so then not completing it.

Expecting people to come and ask them if they can have it.

I always make sure that there is an alternative place where parcels can be left that is secure and change the info on the couriers website to suit.
Which is fine until one particular company , named after a Greek deity ignores whatever instructions they have!
One of my neighbours that has now moved, used to collect their parcels and snatch it out of my hand as if I had planned to keep it!
It is annoying - the previous resident has obviously said that you were at home and were happy to take in parcels! Maybe a quiet word asking them to collect the parcels quickly - or even a "please don't" might work !

Everyone seems to get very uptight about all sorts these days- we seem to be turning into a nation of grumpy people. If this happened on a regular basis I accept that it’s annoying but if it’s only occasionally I wouldnt be too worried. I do also think it depends on the neighbours attitude. We did once have a neighbour who used to have loads of clothes delivered and I would take them in - they would never ever come round for them, when I knocked next door they snatched them from me and shut the door - no thanks at all - rude!

NanaPlenty

Everyone seems to get very uptight about all sorts these days- we seem to be turning into a nation of grumpy people. If this happened on a regular basis I accept that it’s annoying but if it’s only occasionally I wouldnt be too worried. I do also think it depends on the neighbours attitude. We did once have a neighbour who used to have loads of clothes delivered and I would take them in - they would never ever come round for them, when I knocked next door they snatched them from me and shut the door - no thanks at all - rude!

So on how many occasions did this happen?

On what basis did you take them in? Their request or courier's request?

I rarely order anything for home delivery, but happily accept any for neighbours. They usually call around as soon as they arrive home. Occasionally a card has not been left, so I will deliver the parcel to them myself. If I was incapacitated, or the parcel was too heavy, I would phone them and they would come around for it.
I have had my DD and DGD living with me for 8 months. They do what I don't approve of - order lots of things and send back what doesn't fit, or meet their expectations, which is usually most of it. Preparing to move into a new house meant an avalanche of parcels, quite a few of which ended up with my next-door neighbour. She hasn't uttered a word of complaint, and often bobbed out with the parcel before I was out of my car. We have lovely neighbours who are always there to help whenever needed, and I do the same for them. They are probably very relieved that I am back to solitary living again, and I am glad not to be waiting around for the parcel man to come and collect lots of unwanted stuff.
I feel sad for anyone who doesn't have a good neighbourly relationship, wither from choice or circumstances.

Madgran77

*Alright, a scenario. She lives alone. She ordered some underwear mailorder. The delivery driver has left it with the man in the house opposite. She knows that his wife fled to a refuge. The delivery driver has given him an excuse to interact with her. She is worried. What does she do? Would she ever wear that underwear as she knows it has been in his house with him? She looks from her window at his house and knows her parcel is in there*

So, would she prefer it if this neighbour delivered it to her house then? No answer to get over the fear in the scenario described really but it all seems to be getting a bit complicated ...I imagine thousands of parcels are left with neighbours every day, the majority I would guess are picked up by the person the parcel is meant for, probably less are left for the "receiver" to deliver! I am amazed how long this thread has gone on for with such complicated variations on a theme, for such a simple every day occurrence

He might try to take the line that because he took in the parcel she owes him a favour. The delivery driver has caused trouble for her.

Krispii
You will see that my first line is in quotes. That means that im quoting someone else’s words
The first line of that post was quoting ElderlyPerson.
I put that bizarre, but true story to try to make him see that there is no such story as one that can’t be true.

ElderlyPerson

Well it is not about me. The thread asks AIBU and my opinion is that if someone takes in a parcel then if it is by request of the recipient then an arragement should be agreed up front as to how the parcel will get to the recipient.

However, if the person has been cold called by a delivery person and has voluntarily got involved I consider that the onus is to follow through and deliver it, not get annoyed that someone has not come to them and asked for it and then had to get it to their own home, even if he or she has issues over lifting it and carrying it, as the wish was for it to be delivered to his or her doorstep from where it could be slid inside and unpacked.

I consider that my view that if people choose with no obligation to do so to take in a parcel when asked by a delivery person then it is for them to deliver it and have no grounds for annoyance if the recipient does not come to their home and ask for it.

I have been criticised for having this opinion and exyension has been made as to lots of other things about me.

Yet from my point of view it is no good taking on a job with no obligation to do so then not completing it.

Expecting people to come and ask them if they can have it.

I’m afraid you have a strange, indeed perhaps unique, idea of this EP. It’s called being helpful, neighbourly, doing a kindness, not entering into a contract to take on the courier’s responsibilities.

Madgran77

You said:

I am amazed how long this thread has gone on for with such complicated variations on a theme, for such a simple every day occurrence.

I coudn’t agree more. A thread that started as a simple gripe about someone not collecting a parcel or parcels is being whipped into hysteria just to make a point.

It would be a sad world indeed if we never interacted with others or helped others or trusted another living soul.

Time to let this thread die a natural death?

Crikey this has set the cat amongst the pigeons hasn't it.
I don't mind taking in parcels for neighbours as long as I've been asked in advance. That's exactly what I do if I have a parcel being delivered and I'm not going to be in. One neighbour has a note on her porch window which gives a list of about 4 houses the delivery man can leave any parcels. It apparently included mine and I hadn't been asked so I was quite irked. If I take in a parcel I expect the person whose parcel it is to collect it from me. I might text them to say I've a parcel for them. I'll keep it safe for them until they do. I'm not a post man or delivery man. I once had a parcel waiting for collection for 3 days. If I have to collect a parcel from a neighbour I go round as soon as I get home.

MerylStreep

Krispii
You will see that my first line is in quotes. That means that im quoting someone else’s words
The first line of that post was quoting ElderlyPerson.
I put that bizarre, but true story to try to make him see that there is no such story as one that can’t be true.

> ... to try to make him see that there is no such story as one that can’t be true.

Can you explain in another way what you trying to make me see please?

ElderlyPerson
First of all you don’t have to built like amazon to get the better of a man. My father showed me at the age of 14 where to hurt, and it’s not just the obvious. Later in life I had friends who were trained to kill with their hands.
There is far more to the story about the driver/attacker.
I must open my front door several times a week without knowing who there. I’ve yet to see an Amazon tea shirt.

Is there nothing else to worry about ?

Susieq62

Is there nothing else to worry about ?

Yes, lots. But a question was asked in AIBU and I answered.

I answered with my opinion and that has led to criticism of me.

I just don't 'get' the notion that the recipient is expected to come and ask for his or her parcel, perhaps with difficulty of moving it, when he or she did not ask for it to be left there recklessly by the delivery driver and the recipient took it upon himself or herself to get involved and then requires the recipient to come and ask for it instead of completing the delivery, getting annoyed if the person does not come and ask. It just seems to be a nonsense to me.

I get the impression that having that view means that I am regarded as horrible. C'est la vie.

It is rare that parcels are left randomly here! That must be annoying

I don't think you're at all horrible, if it matters (probably not!)
You just have some alternative views.

MissAdventure

I don't think you're at all horrible, if it matters (probably not!)
You just have some alternative views.

No, it does matter. That is nice of you to say.

if the neighbours don't know where it has been delivered to then you should take it around. Some notes state that it has been delivered to number x but many don;'t .

ElderlyPerson

Why do people have the belief that the onus is on the person to whom the parcel is addressed to come and collect it?

Reading your posts elderlyperson I can’t believe your attitude. The delivery drivers always ask first if the neighbor minds taking in their parcel , most decent neighbors would be happy to do so , then the driver always puts a note , or text or whatever the company does , to the customer to say where their parcel has been delivered. The decent thing then is to go to that neighbor to collect your parcel that they have kindly taken in for you and have kept in their home for you in your absence , that act of kindness then in turn saves you all the trouble of having to have your parcel resent again , so that is surly worth the ‘ effort ‘ of retrieving your parcel . Neighbors do this to be kind and helpful to others not for the benefit of their own health.
I’m just so glad I don’t have you as one of my neighbors, because if I did I doubt if I’d ever want to speak to you as your totally unneighbourly and unfriendly.

But nobody asked if the named recipient was happy to have their parcel delivered elsewhere. EP is not. He wants it delivered to him personally. This is what he has paid for. Why should he traipse everywhere to get his parcel? If he is in why isn’t it delivered directly to him. I can see his point. We don’t expect the postman to deliver our mail to someone else - it could be private and personal.

MerylStreep

ElderlyPerson
i was told such a thing is unlikely
How about this scenario.
Delivery driver wearing an Amazon tea shirt approaches house with parcel.
Door opens and driver pushes his way in and attacks woman.
2nd woman comes to help she too is attacked.
3rd woman comes downstairs and too is attacked.
Driver rushes into lounge and grabs what looks like a hard drive.
Driver leaves property.
Owner of property is alerted of attack. Because house had cctv everywhere there was a very clear picture of the attacker.
Owner of property quickly puts this cctv image of the attack on FB.
Attacker sees this and flees with his wife ( very quickly) to Romania.
I would like to know your honest opinion of this bizarre scenario.

Wasn’t this appalling? So glad they got him in the end. Any scenario is possible.

Dibbydod

ElderlyPerson

Why do people have the belief that the onus is on the person to whom the parcel is addressed to come and collect it?

Reading your posts elderlyperson I can’t believe your attitude. The delivery drivers always ask first if the neighbor minds taking in their parcel , most decent neighbors would be happy to do so , then the driver always puts a note , or text or whatever the company does , to the customer to say where their parcel has been delivered. The decent thing then is to go to that neighbor to collect your parcel that they have kindly taken in for you and have kept in their home for you in your absence , that act of kindness then in turn saves you all the trouble of having to have your parcel resent again , so that is surly worth the ‘ effort ‘ of retrieving your parcel . Neighbors do this to be kind and helpful to others not for the benefit of their own health.
I’m just so glad I don’t have you as one of my neighbors, because if I did I doubt if I’d ever want to speak to you as your totally unneighbourly and unfriendly.

The problem is, some people don’t have decent neighbours, and wouldn’t want the confrontation. You’ve just said you wouldn’t want a neighbour like EP, so already, you’ve set yourself up to not want to do this ‘ kind favour’ for someone like her. You may have a whole street of people like her!

The driver doesn’t always put a note through, so you wouldn’t always know about it.

EP, can I just say this isn’t my opinion of you. I don’t know you, so can’t judge. Like I said before, it’s not a one size fits all. Some people have awful neighbours.