Speak to the parents

lindiann

I had a child about 10 trying to buy cigarettes, when I refused she went and got her Dad who had a go because he had been. watching Football. With a Smug look "that told you" on her face she walked out the door and stuck two fingers up

I'd have said, "Well you buy her bl%%dy fags for her, then!!"

Yammy

Lauren59

As a retired teacher, I know that a teacher who would allow that kind of behavior is a teacher who is unable to effectively control their class. A teacher like that has no business taking a class on a trip outside of school!

As an ex-teacher myself I agree. Unfortunately, such teachers do exist these days and in my final years working was laughed at by them for being so strict. Disciplining children was never taught when I trained you picked it up from the other older members of staff and soon learned to control a class.
Those teachers that laughed at me will now be the older members of staff so will not be setting a good example to the younger ones.

Yummy, I was the same. I had a good relationship with my young students, but I didn’t try to be their fun friend. That’s one of the issues I’ve seen with younger teachers. A teacher needs to have control or teaching and learning doesn’t take place.

Lauren59

As a retired teacher, I know that a teacher who would allow that kind of behavior is a teacher who is unable to effectively control their class. A teacher like that has no business taking a class on a trip outside of school!

As an ex-teacher myself I agree. Unfortunately, such teachers do exist these days and in my final years working was laughed at by them for being so strict. Disciplining children was never taught when I trained you picked it up from the other older members of staff and soon learned to control a class.
Those teachers that laughed at me will now be the older members of staff so will not be setting a good example to the younger ones.

As a retired teacher, I know that a teacher who would allow that kind of behavior is a teacher who is unable to effectively control their class. A teacher like that has no business taking a class on a trip outside of school!

The teachers cannot see what the problen is, it is how their children behave.

elfies

The worst behaviour I ever witnessed was a class of school children having a swimming lesson , which my heart group had to walk past to get to our pool . As the first large elderly lady passed them they all howled and yipped like dogs ,and not one teacher or pool assistant said a word . I was mortified for her . Health benefit or not , I never went back to continue my rehab course .

That is shocking. Why don't teachers say anything nowadays? I've seen mayhem at supervised trips to the theatre while teachers sit apart from the pupils and do nothing.
A friend of mine rang her local school after witnessing pupils on an outing with a teacher take up all the seats on the bus including the priority seats while very elderly people stood. Again the teacher did nothing.

It is very unsettling one of my friends had that happen quite regularly but it was a football being kicked repeatedly at the side of her house,despite their being a park very close by, it drive her bonkers, made no difference at all speaking to the parents, in the end she moved to a quieter area, no probs now she’s much happier

The worst behaviour I ever witnessed was a class of school children having a swimming lesson , which my heart group had to walk past to get to our pool . As the first large elderly lady passed them they all howled and yipped like dogs ,and not one teacher or pool assistant said a word . I was mortified for her . Health benefit or not , I never went back to continue my rehab course .

absent

I sometimes wonder about what seems to me a bit of a current buzz word with "building self-esteem" in young people. Of course children – and that includes adolescents – should not be demeaned, but I suspect that some young people interpret this as a free ride that entitles them to do what they like. We, as adults know their immaturity: they think they rule the world, or, at least, their parents. It's not all down to the parents. It does take a village – or, at the very least, an extended family to raise a child. Childhood is a process of learning, educationally, socially and in other ways.

I agree that it takes a Village....
But so many parents nowadays seem to think their family exists in a kind of bubble and resent anyone else telling their child off or complaining about their behaviour.

I think it makes people more edgy and irritable when they see gangs of children out playing. Years ago they knew, if it got too loud or rowdy, they could go out and say something and the kids would quieten down or buzz off. Now they know they're equally likely to get a load of cheek and kids escalating their behaviour because they have no fear of their parents being told about it. The parents will just tell their children to ignore the cranky lady, or will come around and inform you that their children have a 'right' to do what they like.

It makes neighbours feel like they have absolutely no say or control, and just creates tension from the off.

tickingbird

^Children are in charge, and they’re not very good at it. So we get anarchy^

Maybe ask yourself how this has come to pass?

Because discipline, ( and I don’t necessarily mean smacking), has gone out of the window.

There are no consequences for bad behaviour, certainly such as in my day...and in my childrens.

One very small example. We watch ‘ GP’s Behind Closed Doors’. Some of the behaviour from children in the surgery is appalling. I never let mine behave like that...well, they just wouldn’t have, they didn’t need telling. The idea of me behaving like that in the sixties is almost funny, it so wouldn’t have happened.

I sometimes wonder about what seems to me a bit of a current buzz word with "building self-esteem" in young people. Of course children – and that includes adolescents – should not be demeaned, but I suspect that some young people interpret this as a free ride that entitles them to do what they like. We, as adults know their immaturity: they think they rule the world, or, at least, their parents. It's not all down to the parents. It does take a village – or, at the very least, an extended family to raise a child. Childhood is a process of learning, educationally, socially and in other ways.

I should say, if it were me, I would start a community garden for all the misdirected teens in the neighborhood. But I tend to go overboard. LOL

Caleo

"Does your mother know you are doing that?" may be useful.

I would absolutely say something to the kids along these lines. I would tell them to stop. And if they went to tell the parents, I would have a word with them as well.

Every time they said I was upsetting the child, I would respond with "they are upsetting me by damaging my car."
I do not shy away from confrontation though. I know many a people who do and understand not wanting to.

I saw a quote today that resonated with me.

"If it not coming from a place of love, it's a call for love."

If it were me, I would invite them to help in my garden. Offering a connection to me and a pride in ownership accomplishment. I know that is not always feasible though.

"Does your mother know you are doing that?"

Do your parents know you are doing that?

Much better now!

This thread started out as a discussion about parents objecting to neighbours reprimanding their badly behaved children as they should be approaching the parents, whilst also making it very difficult or confrontational when neighbours try to do just that.

It's not a tirade against teenagers.

Naninka

I worked as a teacher for almost 30 years and, yes, I've met some horrendous kids - they are almost always egged on by even more horrendous parents.
Several years ago, I estimated that the number of students I'd taught was well over 10,000.
I can honestly say that within this, there have only been a very small number of out-and-out wrong doers.
The vast amount are pleasant, kind kids, seeking to do the right thing for themselves and others.

I totally agree Naninka. I am another ex secondary teacher here and until I retired three years ago, taught in inner city schools in Birmingham and Manchester. I did meet a few “challenging” children over the years and there were incidents of poor behaviour, fights, threats etc but the majority of my classes were full of lively, cheeky children. Sometimes their home circumstances or previous experiences prevented them from coping with school life and these children needed a lot of support to be able to settle down enough to learn.

I have never felt frightened nor been physically threatened but I did hear lots of bad language and bravado from large groups. I really feel there are more good children than bad ones and that it’s wrong to assume that all teenagers are “ bad” . I think we forget how teenagers behave as we get older but I bet some of the people here being very negative about youngsters did things their grandparents disapproved of. Like wearing short skirts, listening to rowdy music, staying out late, lying to parents about where you were going, messing around on street corners with friends etc etc. I know I did!

Yes, there are gangs causing problems in some areas but not all the time and not everywhere. Once you get to know teenagers as individuals away from their mates, they are usually a pleasure to be with.

Children are in charge, and they’re not very good at it. So we get anarchy

Maybe ask yourself how this has come to pass?

"Does your mother know you are doing that?" may be useful.

Gabrielle56

The blame for all this appallingly bad behaviour lies squarely with L'Oréal!!! " Because I'm worth it!!" Since that ad campaign it all went tits up! Everyone and their mates went all entitled and self centred.......

Yes I have noticed a marked deterioration in my behaviour since I bought a L'Oreal mascara, and as for DH.....I can't tell you how bad his relationship with our neighbours has been since I bought him a different shampoo

Bignanny2

This is the problem these days. No one seems to have any respect for other people or their property. And they are bringing up their children with the same attitude ?!

I totally agree and it’s really upsetting sometimes. I remember how respectful I had to be as a child I wouldn’t dream of talking back to an adult but sadly as someone else stated those days have long gone

So if any of you Grans were in a position of power, what would you do about it? Does anyone have any sensible ideas of what could be done? Personally, I think that things started to go haywire from the moment they withdrew physical punishment from schools. I remember 3 'bad' boys in my junior school, each receiving the cane in front of the whole school. Not only did they cry which made them not seem quite so tough to the rest of us, but it also acted as a warning to those who watched, of what would happen if we misbehaved. I realise that some teachers took it too far in those days, but rather than remove those powers altogether, why not make it law that it MUST be done in front of the whole school, so that it acts as a warning, and would immediately be reported if anyone thought it was too much? Just my thoughts.

Gabrielle56

The blame for all this appallingly bad behaviour lies squarely with L'Oréal!!! " Because I'm worth it!!" Since that ad campaign it all went tits up! Everyone and their mates went all entitled and self centred.......

Gabrielle56

The blame for all this appallingly bad behaviour lies squarely with L'Oréal!!! " Because I'm worth it!!" Since that ad campaign it all went tits up! Everyone and their mates went all entitled and self centred.......

?

Do you have doorbell web cam or a security camera on your house. Maybe showing the parents what the kids are doing would have more impact. I know it can be illegal to film children but not if its just normal street footage.

The blame for all this appallingly bad behaviour lies squarely with L'Oréal!!! " Because I'm worth it!!" Since that ad campaign it all went tits up! Everyone and their mates went all entitled and self centred.......