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AIBU

To say they should grant this?

(55 Posts)
TopsyAndTim Fri 29-Oct-21 19:05:32

Grandkids other nan lives in Canada. She is ill but it is not terminal. However, it is also her birthday, a milestone one and daughter and kids want to surprise her.
Daughter wants to take them out of their primary school for the week to travel to see her, the illness being the exceptional circumstance. Am I right in saying this should be fine?

Chardy Fri 05-Nov-21 12:38:47

One of the things OFSTED looks at is the absence percentage, particularly the unauthorised absences. Of course schools are under huge pressure to do as well as possible, from their academy trust or local authority, and also from parents.
In normal times, a good head will look at how much time the individual has had off before making a decision. But in COVID times, how much time has been missed by that class, as well.
The pressure on our grand children's schools is much greater than it was on our children's schools 30 years ago.

LOUISA1523 Fri 05-Nov-21 10:59:21

Germanshepherdsmum

No it’s not fine IMO. Children’s education is important.

Its absolutely fine IMO ....I took my kids out of school for 6 week trips to Australia x 3 times when they were school age to visit family.....I just paid the fine.....they did just fine at school .....education IS important....but family is more important

Sunlover Fri 05-Nov-21 08:16:47

I’d say go and pay any fine if necessary. Family is important and they may not get this opportunity again. Go and enjoy the time together.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 05-Nov-21 08:12:35

I’m pleased to hear your grandson’s school is so sensitive and compassionate grannyactivist. I know you and your daughter will also find this a very difficult time. I will be thinking of you.?

M0nica Fri 05-Nov-21 06:48:29

I am not sure this is a good reason. Most older people have medical problems, so is that 'special'? Is she 100 or something where this could be a last chance for a family party. If not, I would not think it a good reason.

Franbern, it was OK for you, you had clever children, but for some to be clever, others aren't , and a week out of school could put a less clever child's learning at a disadvantage, especially after all the disruption of COVID.

We took our children out of school twice for a week. At the time DH's work meant it was almost impossible for him to take leave between April and September, so DH was away most of the summer, but as soon as he was free we would have a family holiday.

Our children's headmistress understood, but did comment, that our children were bright and wouldn't suffer, but said otherwise she would not aprove, even in our circumstances. One year we had our 'summer' holiday over the Spring half term in order not to take the children out of school. We went on the Broads and had them entirely to ourselves. It was great!

Kim19 Fri 05-Nov-21 06:21:02

If it can be managed without too many complications other than a fine, I would say go ahead. It will be a real shot in the arm for Canada Gran and won't do the children much harm either. Very important part of life's (and family) tapestry methinks. Go for it. These opportunities for travel are fast disappearing and will continue to do so.

Nansnet Fri 05-Nov-21 06:10:03

eazybee ... What I do not understand is why the daughter and children could not travel to Canada at half term and surprise the ill, but not terminally so, Grandmother. They would have had more time to spend with her and not had to miss their schooling, which is more important than a birthday party, (which strikes me as the main reason the mother wants to go).

I understand it perfectly. An ill/ailing parent, or in-law, especially one who lives so far away, who is about to have a 'milestone' birthday, who may, or may not have the chance to see her grandchildren again, I would think is far more important than children missing a week or two of schooling. There is no mention of there being a 'party', just that it's her 'milestone' birthday. And if she's ill, there's unlikely to be a 'party' anyway. If there's a gathering of a few close relatives/friends, what better surprise for her than to see her grandchildren again.

A close friend of mine, who lives overseas, had to miss her own mother's milestone birthday earlier this year, due to flight restrictions. It caused a lot of sadness/upset, both for my friend, and her mother, neither who will be able to get that special time back again. Too many people have had to miss far too many important special family occasions/events over the past couple of years, myself included. I think she's doing the right thing.

Lucca Thu 04-Nov-21 18:39:23

timetogo2016

Take them and refuse to pay the fine,it will cost too much to take you to court.
Strange how schools can close as and when it suits and they don`t pay a fine to the parents who have to organise care if they work.
And who knows whats round the corner especially with covid going no where quickly.

Schools close as and when they please ??!

Sorry but what are you talking about?

eazybee Thu 04-Nov-21 13:14:20

What I do not understand is why the daughter and children could not travel to Canada at half term and surprise the ill, but not terminally so, Grandmother. They would have had more time to spend with her and not had to miss their schooling, which is more important than a birthday party, (which strikes me as the main reason the mother wants to go).
Teachers do mind absences, because the missed work has to be taught before the next stage can be achieved .

One would think that after experiencing home-schooling parents would have accepted that teaching is neither as irrelevant nor as easy as some choose to think.

maddyone Thu 04-Nov-21 10:44:36

(Haven’t read all the thread yet, but will do later.)
Anyway, legally it’s not fine unless the Headteacher grants special circumstances. Personally, even as an ex teacher, I say, just do it. Grandma lives in Canada, she won’t live forever. Just go. Family are the most important.

grannyactivist Thu 04-Nov-21 10:24:03

Schools do have discretion. My grandson has been given permission not to attend school on the 11th November as this year he is feeling too emotional to take part in the school’s Remembrance Services.
(His dad was killed in Afghanistan.)

Hetty58 Thu 04-Nov-21 10:13:13

Another is the family holiday 'allowed' following any tough time, like bereavement, divorce, illness, trauma etc.

Hetty58 Thu 04-Nov-21 10:11:25

The 'allowable reasons' are a little odd - but head teachers can use some discretion.

Any special one-off family occasion, such as a wedding or funeral counts (although weddings are hardly one-off in my family, funerals are!).

Parents who need to go to help, visit or stay with a seriously ill relative also is a 'reason' - although taking the kids along seems odd, but maybe there is nobody else to care for them.

timetogo2016 Thu 04-Nov-21 09:19:33

Take them and refuse to pay the fine,it will cost too much to take you to court.
Strange how schools can close as and when it suits and they don`t pay a fine to the parents who have to organise care if they work.
And who knows whats round the corner especially with covid going no where quickly.

Mollygo Thu 04-Nov-21 09:16:54

What are these parenting classes? I can’t find reference to them for our LEA except that people can seek help if they are having trouble with their children. They certainly don’t come under the list of sanctions for unofficial school holidays where I live.

Lucca Thu 04-Nov-21 09:07:56

Parents usually know what's best for their own children and they won't 'fall behind' as so many have had frequent absences due to Covid rules

I agree with that.

Sarnia Thu 04-Nov-21 08:46:17

I wouldn't hesitate to go. Canada is a long journey so their Nan won't have had so many hugs and time with them over the years. I should think she would be delighted to see them on her big birthday. As for the school, they will probably fine your daughter but they can take some books to read on the plane and perhaps they could write up a diary of their trip using their writing and spelling skills. They won't fall off a cliff in just 1 week. I didn't know parenting classes were part of the 'punishment' for taking children out of school. I would be giving a very blunt response if they were offered to me!

Hetty58 Thu 04-Nov-21 08:35:17

Lucca, a lot of parents decide on being 'off sick' rather than ask the school's permission - and be refused. Both parents can be fined - so it's a possible double fine and telling off.

Teachers, in general, really don't mind. The local authority operates the (silly) scheme, so the school have no discretion, just refer to a list of 'allowable' reasons.

Parents usually know what's best for their own children and they won't 'fall behind' as so many have had frequent absences due to Covid rules.

Lucca Thu 04-Nov-21 08:26:45

biglouis

Can you not just wing it and tell the school the kids have covid like symptoms?

Great example to give the children…..

Either don’t go or go but be upfront/honest about it.

Nansnet Thu 04-Nov-21 08:23:55

biglouis, having previously worked with primary school kids, I can confirm that they can't keep secrets, and are mostly very honest when it comes to telling teacher why they've been absent away from school!wink

If the last 2 years have taught me anything, it's that my family are the most important things to me. I wouldn't be asking the school for permission to go, I'd be telling them the reason why I have to go!

TopsyAndTim, I'm glad your DD has made her decision. Life is too short, and there are some things in life that if you miss them/don't do them, you can never get that time back again.

biglouis Wed 03-Nov-21 10:28:51

Can you not just wing it and tell the school the kids have covid like symptoms?

Susie42 Sat 30-Oct-21 13:28:21

As others have said, discuss with the school first as, if they agree, could possibly provide some homework/reading for the children to do while away or they could suggest that the children keep a brief diary while they are away.

Visgir1 Sat 30-Oct-21 12:54:02

I would take them, it's only 1 week. If they had a bad cold they could be off for a week.
Seeing another country is Educational in many ways.
Tell /ask the school - if they fine you it's still worth it. They are younger children they won't miss much and sure to make it up.

Pammie1 Sat 30-Oct-21 12:32:29

I remember being taken out of school for a month at the age of 13 when my parents, who were both self employed, had worked hard and saved enough to have an extended trip around Europe. This was in the days before package holidays - we had a caravan and my dad’s Land Rover - we hitched them up and off we went. It was the most memorable holiday of my life. We saw some amazing things and learned so much because we were immersed in the life and culture of each place we visited.

My parents arranged things with the school well in advance and they were fine with it - the only stipulation was that I should keep a diary of our travels and be prepared to take part in class discussions about the trip when I got back. I can’t imagine any school taking that attitude now - it’s far too regimented and I think it’s a shame. I’d go, and risk the fine, but maybe have a word with the school and point out that it’s not a package holiday - the kids will have the chance to travel and experience a different culture. Not all education takes place in the classroom.

Calistemon Sat 30-Oct-21 11:20:45

Susan56

At my granddaughters school so long as their attendance is above 94% they are allowed ten days off per academic year so hopefully the children will be allowed the time off if similar rules apply at their school.

The attendance record of the DGC's whole schools will be dismal this term so the Education Welfare Service is going to be overwhelmed if they all get referred.

It's not a laughing matter but it is quite ridiculous for low attendance records to be flagged up by computer and families told they need help with parenting at this moment in time.