Taking offense...

Thanks all... I admit to dwelling on it while sleepless last night! I know it should not let it bother me. I get along well with all the other co-workers, This one in the past made a snide remark about older people wanting to joint her ball-hockey team, how they couldn't keep up and brought down the whole team. She was referring to anyone that already had kids!

I think I am fairly well respected by others, and have trained most of them at one point or another. I do admit to feeling not a part of the crowd, though, because I am the only one here over 30! I shouldn't let one big-headed young lady get me down. I normally wear my grey hair proudly... I just needed to vent, and wish I was quicker with come-backs.

It’s judging what you can do when you are older that bugs my 102 year old Aunt.
She’s an avid iPad user and FB person but she said people who visit the home are always amazed that she can do it “at her age”. She thinks they are rude.

It's easy to be dismissive of people taking offence, but you should ask yourself what motivates some individuals to treat others with the contempt they would not like to be treated with themselves. Would you not be offended if someone implied that you were stupid because you were old?

Thinking about it, it's the dismissiveness that is offensive - whether that's being dismissed because of age, or because the someone doesn't agree that it shouldn't be done.

Canadian Gran, what part of Canada are you from?

Rosiebee I too loved David McCullum. I still like him in NCIS but he is in his 80s now.
I dont so much worry about people saying ageist stuff being young at heart myself but I really dislike it when someone says "get a life"or "you should get out more". So rude

Spice101

Hardly a comment worth being offend by in my opinion.

Offence seems to be taken far too easily in this day and age.

... ageism can be dangerous and damaging.

I only have one experience of it, and it was nasty, resulting in me being left in pain and in a mess, during a hospital stay. I don't want to go into details. I'm not a complainer and am quite stoic but was treated abysmally by a member of staff who made it quite clear that because of my age, she thought she could talk down to me... this was later confirmed by another member of the staff who said I should report the incident.

It's easy to be dismissive of people taking offence, but you should ask yourself what motivates some individuals to treat others with the contempt they would not like to be treated with themselves.

Would you not be offended if someone implied that you were stupid because you were old?

My granddaughter who adores me always greets me with:
hello old person, how’s it going
My daughter asked me if I was offended. No!! I am ?

I once worked with someone that, at 17 she thought people over 21 were old and then when she got to 21 herself, old age crept up to 30!
I worked with people from the age of 16 up and there was only one person on the team older than me - as well as the fact that I was one of the longest serving. I really took no notice of the age differences, along with the differences in nationality or religion and if anyone commented, they usually got a quick answer back!
My gripe is about the fact that I have been to a number of job interviews that I am well qualified for and as soon as I see the look on the interviewer's face, I know I won't be getting the job - the reasons(if any) given range from "over qualified" "need someone that is planning to work here for a long time" "need someone that doesn't mind starting at the bottom/ happy to be given basic training" etc. Basically any way they can avoid saying "you are too old"!!!

Sadly “they are not long, the days of wine and roses”. I always hope young people enjoy their youth, with no thought of growing old.

I think the comment was fairly thoughtless and not too much worth getting upset about per se... except that ageism is no joke. I particularly notice it in broadcasting. For example, it's about the only "ism" which comedians are free to display and no one bats an eye.

Chewbacca That's a good response!

lemsip

oh dear, some people don't know what to take offence at next!

People are offended by what offends them. We are not all the same.

I remember saying to a colleague when she said she was 44..... oh you don't look it. I was 32 at the time. 44 sounded so old. lol

I remember finding out at the age of about 13, that my hero -David McCallum from the Man from Uncle - was 32. My heart broke, I couldn't believe he was THAT old.

When I was 60 I was unsure about a new method of entering some info onto the computer system.. My manager at work said in front of other people "Oh (my name) you're losing the plot". This was said in a disparaging way suggesting I was going senile. I never forgave her for insulting me and after I left I never answered her calls or emails. I'm in my mid 70's now and still haven't 'lost the plot'!.

oh dear, some people don't know what to take offence at next!

When I was at work the Manager who was late 30s at the time referred to us as her ‘blue rinse brigade’. I really wished I could have taken her to task over it, we were incensed. Of course she is now as old as we were 50s.

NannyG123 You could have retorted "Oh, no, I've got another 25 years at least of my life left, that is the average life span. That is ten years longer than you have lived. You will be forty and past your best in 25 years time, but I'll still be around. See you then."

Wouldn't be offended at that and sympathies to the girl as dealing with DVLA a nightmare before Covid and now even worse.

Bazza

I was talking to a friend yesterday who I met when I was 24, the same age as her. We now both have children nearing 50 and we said when we met anyone of 50 was considered old and now we have children of that age. Impossible! When you’re young getting old is something that happens to other people.

I found a brilliant birthday card that said isn’t it strange being the same age as old people. I bought more than one.

I’d love to find a few of those birthday cards!

Because I do quite often think, ‘How can I possibly be 72? How did that happen?’ and I’m sure many others must feel the same, at any ‘older’ age.

As a married 20 year old I thought that my office colleagues in their thirties were confimed spinsters! (I never said so).

I think she realised her blunder and tried to cover it up, quickly, without stopping her story.

Your workmates obviously class you as 'one of them' and efficient otherwise they wouldn't have said it. I think you are reading too much into it. Of course us older people did not grow up with computers so some will not be up to speed with technology. However, I do think that the word OLD should be made an offensive word and ageism stamped out just as they are trying to do with racism.

Just tell her lightheartedly that she has got to get to your age so be carefull.

TillyWhiz

Tell me about it! In my last place before retirement I was surrounded by young ones: I even had a young manager say I'd had my chance in my working life, it was their turn now! Guess who had to bail them out of problems each time. It IS offensive but rise above it. The panic and worry when I retired because I said no, I wasn't going back once a week, no not once a fortnight, no not once a month!

Yup. When I retired they had to send two younger members of staff on several training courses to learn how to do the IT work that I'd been doing.
I'd told them a year in advance, and offered on-the-job training - which was refused - and then they were quite upset because I refused to hand over my mobile phone number 'in case we get stuck'... I'm afraid that my reply was ? and ?