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Taking offense...

(96 Posts)
CanadianGran Tue 09-Nov-21 17:50:31

A young woman at work was complaining to other co-workers of a customer-service line she was calling. It was to do with changing her drivers license to her new married name, and vaccine card being in her maiden name.

Anyway, the agent was having troubles, and as my coworker was telling the others, the 'woman was really old, no offense Canadian Gran', and carried on telling the story.

I jokingly said "hey, I'm not old!" and laughed, but now I really am feeling offended. I am the only grey-haired in the office. I thought that was rude, but not sure how to react.

Deep sigh and carry on. Ageism in the workplace.

Lincslass Tue 09-Nov-21 17:52:59

Laugh at it, tell them they’ll be old one day 😆.

Shandy57 Tue 09-Nov-21 17:53:47

I think younger people think anyone with grey hair is old, let's hope the coworker goes grey prematurely!

kittylester Tue 09-Nov-21 17:54:50

Ignore the silly person - st least this once!!

Eviebeanz Tue 09-Nov-21 17:55:01

I was walking down the road with my DH. Two teenagers were walking towards us. One said "oh look old people holding hands how cute" I of course turned round to see the cute old people. DH had to break the news to me that it was us.

Oopsadaisy1 Tue 09-Nov-21 17:59:04

Well maybe the person on the end of the line was old in her ways, maybe not as quick as you are.

We all get old, even the youngsters and don’t forget, we were young once

CanadianGran Tue 09-Nov-21 18:02:52

Oh, I did laugh it off, but I just had my 60th birthday this week, and I am the oldest at work amongst all the 30 year olds.

Work chat usually involves wedding planning, house buying, what to feed the little ones for breakfast, etc. I guess I am feeling a bit left out and didn't need a reminder.

Just feeling she was being rude, and of course she didn't think anything of it. Trying to keep my (wrinkly) chin up.

Doodledog Tue 09-Nov-21 18:12:09

It was rude.

Judging people because of their age is wrong, and just as offensive as prejudice about other aspects of someone’s life. I don’t think people usually mean to be rude, but that doesn’t make it less hurtful. flowers

Scones Tue 09-Nov-21 18:17:37

Eviebeanz that's so funny!

Age is relative isn't it. I met one of my school teachers recently. When I was 15 I'd thought her to be ancient. She's only 10 years older than me so was a spring chick of 25 when she taught me.

Lauren59 Tue 09-Nov-21 18:22:11

Young people can’t imagine that they’ll ever be old. They will if they’re fortunate. I had several school friends die in their twenties, and often think of them and all they missed out on in the lives they should have had. So, I just smile inwardly when a young person feels superior because of their youth and hope they live to be old.

Chewbacca Tue 09-Nov-21 18:25:01

Following a similar incident at work with a young colleague, I said "As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you will be." Never happened again.

BlueBelle Tue 09-Nov-21 18:29:06

I was riding my cycle when two late teenage boys said Look an old granny on her bike if I could still ride with one hand
I d have given them the finger but I sailed past as if I hadnt heard ( well old dears are deaf aren t they)

Elizabeth27 Tue 09-Nov-21 18:49:43

I tend to call anyone under 40 a young person, 40-60 middle aged over 60 old and over 80 elderly.

freedomfromthepast Tue 09-Nov-21 19:34:02

I was at something with my teen and her friends and the girl working there said something about a couple who was "so old, like 25 or something". shock

I remember back when I thought 30 was old. We cant do anything about it, we can only change our reaction to it. Those types of people will be the ones stressing over their 40th and 50th while the rest of us laugh.

Baggs Tue 09-Nov-21 20:28:00

Judging people because of their age is wrong

I agree but judging someone to be old is not judging them because of their age. It's just noticing that they are relatively old.

The same thing, in effect, as noticing that someone is young.

Oldwoman70 Tue 09-Nov-21 20:32:44

Oopsadaisy1

Well maybe the person on the end of the line was old in her ways, maybe not as quick as you are.

We all get old, even the youngsters and don’t forget, we were young once

Reminds me of the time when I expressed admiration for a good looking man - nieces expressed surprise so I told them I'm old - not dead!

Oldwoman70 Tue 09-Nov-21 20:34:20

Oldwoman70

Oopsadaisy1

Well maybe the person on the end of the line was old in her ways, maybe not as quick as you are.

We all get old, even the youngsters and don’t forget, we were young once

Reminds me of the time when I expressed admiration for a good looking man - nieces expressed surprise so I told them I'm old - not dead!

Whoops that was meant as a reply to Eviebeanz !

CafeAuLait Tue 09-Nov-21 21:24:41

Remember being in your early 20s when everyone over about 40 was old? Also, that it felt so far away, you couldn't imagine ever being that age? Your colleague is probably there. :-)

Spice101 Tue 09-Nov-21 22:45:07

Hardly a comment worth being offend by in my opinion.

Offence seems to be taken far too easily in this day and age.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 09-Nov-21 22:57:45

That’s a bit unkind Spice. I’m ten years older than CanadianGran but I would feel offended. I don’t consider myself old even if my body begs to differ. CG you have the grace, wisdom and serenity which your coworkers can only hope to acquire with the passing years.💐

Doodledog Tue 09-Nov-21 23:32:40

Spice101

Hardly a comment worth being offend by in my opinion.

Offence seems to be taken far too easily in this day and age.

Just because you don't find something offensive doesn't mean that others won't. People feel what they feel - you can't police the feelings of others.

I don't mind people noticing I'm not young, but I don't like people making assumptions about what I will like, do or think based on my age. I have individual views, some of which are similar to friends of my own age, and some more typical of friends of other age groups.

stanlaw Wed 10-Nov-21 11:52:29

As I've just learned to spell septuagenarian I reflect on all the riches (not money!) that my age has bought me and feel sorry for all the youngsters who have got so far to go before having those rewards. Not least, I can wear what I want and say what I want. Probably not a good idea to share that with them though.

sazz1 Wed 10-Nov-21 11:53:37

I think they were conscious of what they said about the person on the phone might have offended you so tried (albeit badly) to put it right.

Trisher123 Wed 10-Nov-21 11:58:03

I agree. I would laugh and say the same - don't mock, you'll be old one day.

Bazza Wed 10-Nov-21 11:59:43

I was talking to a friend yesterday who I met when I was 24, the same age as her. We now both have children nearing 50 and we said when we met anyone of 50 was considered old and now we have children of that age. Impossible! When you’re young getting old is something that happens to other people.

I found a brilliant birthday card that said isn’t it strange being the same age as old people. I bought more than one.