Taking offense...

Offense is a state of mind freely chosen.
Grey hair is an indicator of years not ideas.
I am grateful to be old, many have been denied the privilege.

Age is but a number or led to believe.
It is not unusual for me to be told when in a phone conversation with a person I have never met face to face 'you don't sound it' How then as a seventy nine plus, supposed to sound ?

When I was younger, we had relatives who were celebrating their silver wedding. It seemed ancient, being old enough to have been married 25 years.

As I (with luck) approach our golden wedding next year, I often think of this, and marvel at how old I thought they were, in their mid to late 40’s.

Sigh/smile and carry on seems the best response, OP. There are some advantages to being thought of as old. We went to a forest concert a couple of years ago. We were by far the oldest there, and we were allowed to make our way from the back of the audience to the front just by smiling sweetly and taking advantage of the “Aw bless” comments instead of being offended by them. It was like the parting of the waves.

I am in my late 50’s now and do not feel old! However I have been called dear a couple of times in shops recently much to my dismay?

Well it’s only when I have to look in a mirror that I’m reminded of my years ! The reality’s are to be older is a privilege not a right so we must celebrate and enjoy all that have whilst we can now ?

My husband was working in retail with a load of younsters, told them it was his 50th birthday, they all went out to celebrate. He was actually 60, youngsters have no idea of age, in the same way I can't judge is someone is 15 or 20 or 25 for example

I was walking along the road. Last year when we were all meant to keep a distance, I passed a group of young girls all walking next to each other in a line. I moved over so I didn't walk to close to them. And I overheard one girl say. Don't know what she's worried about she's going
to die soon anyway. I was 65 at the time. I had to bite my tongue.

I always replied by calling the offender 'middle-aged' or whatever

I would have been tempted to respond thus "with age comes maturity, common sense and manners, but you might have to wait longer than I did to gain all three'!

Tell me about it! In my last place before retirement I was surrounded by young ones: I even had a young manager say I'd had my chance in my working life, it was their turn now! Guess who had to bail them out of problems each time. It IS offensive but rise above it. The panic and worry when I retired because I said no, I wasn't going back once a week, no not once a fortnight, no not once a month!

I think the point here is that most of the time we don't feel any older at 70 than we did when we were 40,

Of course, sometimes our bodies remind us that we are neither 20 nor 40 anymore.

But on the whole, unless it is one of the days where our knees hurt, or whatever it is that hurts and reminds of our age, we don't think about it, so it comes as a shock if someone calls us old.

The other point is that we have lived our entire adult lives in a time that glorifies young adulthood. We all know men and women who try very hard to look at least twenty years younger than they are, and probably none of us enjoy catching sight of ourselves in a window or mirror and wondering who that old woman is, or thinking "She looks just like Grannie! Oh, she is me!"

Perhaps we should try to remember that the alternative to old age in anyone' s life cycle is not youth, but death.

That alters the perspective a bit, doesn't it?

Trisher123. A perfect response!

Reminds me of when my mum turned 60. The church invited her to a pensioners coffee party. Mum asked what they needed her to do, maybe serve coffee or make sandwiches. They said "but you are a guest". Mum was flabbergasted. She didn't feel old enough for a pensioners party and thought she was being asked to help.

Lol come on your over thinking this. Remember you were her age at one time and you would have probably said same thing. And she will also be your age and someone will say to same thing to her. Personal I would have laughed it and said might be older in face but I’m 21 in head lol

Looking back, I know I didn't educate my children that 'older' people were the same as us, they did know that children from other countries were the same. Perhaps we should let our grandchildren know?

I am 68 going on 6 and clearly remember when people in shops etc started calling me madam instead of miss. How grown up, I thought. Then, it gets worse and they say 'yes dear'

IMO ageism is the remaining dreadful ‘ism’ that society appears to consider acceptable. It infuriates me! I dare say the woman described in OP wouldn’t dream of commenting on the race or sexual orientation of the customer service person - quite rightly! But it appears to be ok to comment on someone’s age - and we should just ‘laugh it off’??? IMO that’s as bad as describing racist / sexist comments as ‘banter’!

She was rude, just keep calling her junior if she does it again

All rather ageist

There was an issue at work recently and I stood up and gave my open and honest opinion as to what they could do with the extra tasks that were being foisted upon us. I'm now known among the young folks as "Gangster Granny" .

I really don't mind because I think its swings and roundabouts. Sometimes the young 'uns save me the best chair because they know I have an arthritic knee.

I know its kind of been mentioned, but as I age, I feel luckier, we've come through a lot, and if I ever start to feel sorry for myself with my sagging eyes and wrinkly hands and stiff joints, I think to my grandsons best friend who sadly lost his life two years ago at 15 after being hit by a car. He was a wonderful young man, and so it helps when I have my down days and feel left out of the younger conversations, that I think of that boy, and I paint my wrinkly grin back on, for him! x

I was talking to a friend yesterday who I met when I was 24, the same age as her. We now both have children nearing 50 and we said when we met anyone of 50 was considered old and now we have children of that age. Impossible! When you’re young getting old is something that happens to other people.

I found a brilliant birthday card that said isn’t it strange being the same age as old people. I bought more than one.

I agree. I would laugh and say the same - don't mock, you'll be old one day.

I think they were conscious of what they said about the person on the phone might have offended you so tried (albeit badly) to put it right.

As I've just learned to spell septuagenarian I reflect on all the riches (not money!) that my age has bought me and feel sorry for all the youngsters who have got so far to go before having those rewards. Not least, I can wear what I want and say what I want. Probably not a good idea to share that with them though.