Taking offense...

Doodledog

Would either or both of you be offended if I said that your dismissive attitude to posters who have explained how they feel is rude and arrogant?

Well said.

One of the reasons why "Offence seems to be taken far too easily in this day and age" is possibly because social media has allowed us - and even encouraged us - to be far more personal, insulting and objectionable towards others in a way that was not possible decades ago. We are definitely a less well-mannered society.

It's easy to be dismissive of others' concerns, but I bet those that are, also have their own 'bête noire'.

They're great aren't they?

Who wants to die young FFS apart from The Who!

It strikes me now that 'Hope I die before I get old' sounds absolutely awful.
At the time, I took it to mean 'Hope I don't turn into an old codger'.

It sounds wonderful when sung by The Zimmers -

youtu.be/zqfFrCUrEbY

Ali08

Spice101

Hardly a comment worth being offend by in my opinion.

Offence seems to be taken far too easily in this day and age.

I totally agree with you!!

Would either or both of you be offended if I said that your dismissive attitude to posters who have explained how they feel is rude and arrogant?

I used to work with an absolute brat in her twenties who used to moan that everyone in the office was too old and she had nothing in common with them. She would now be approaching 40 and I wonder if she realises how rude and silly she was.

Spice101

Hardly a comment worth being offend by in my opinion.

Offence seems to be taken far too easily in this day and age.

I totally agree with you!!

ALANaV

Ha ...doesn't offend me if someone calls me ancient ...I AM ancient !! why let it bother you ? UNLESS of course you are looking for a job, when ageism should not be rife, but sadly it is ....when redundancies are looked for it is often the oldest that is asked if they would take early retirement ..............not that the pension would be granted early .......then the suggestion of voluntary work .......unpaid of course ! Many years ago there was a poem published, which is purported to have been found by a Nurse in an elderly patient's locker after she died .....Look Closer, See Me ....still very apt

... but why should anyone call you "ancient" - unless you're having a discussion about age itself and the age is relevant?

Ageism is rife in the workplace because of this, because we're too tolerant and don't want to be seen to be offended by such comments for fear of being slated for getting upset over something that others regard as 'trivial'.

We will never combat the prejudice against old people by being dismissive of their complaints. In its mildest form of course it can simply be irritating to have to listen to the bigoted comments by others, but ageism can be disastrous... look at the way some elderly people have been treated in care homes; the way their dignity has been denied - how some have even been abused. This all stems from the acceptance of of ageism, in the same way misogyny is accepted, as a 'norm'.

I am elderly (80), I am capable - I run a business with my partner - and I will take offence if some individual disparages me because I am older than him / her.

A foul-mouthed reply does you no credit Gabrielle. They are probably not shocked for the reason you think. Try rehearsing some clever and witty replies instead.

I must admit if it's a total stranger who's rude about my years I give them a both barrels foul mouthed reply, often shocks as they don't expect that from a "stupid old woman" ..

I recently changed GP and the young male doc phoned to I introduce himself and give me the low down on an MOT think I'd have to have. When I asked him to confirm that I had to arrange blood test appointment and not wait for them to call me he said "no , YOU ring US ,. Do pay attention!" As I'd I was a wearisome child , cheeky get! I did ring and arranged to sack him! I now have a choice of 4 fantastic young female GPs who are all really friendly and we get on great, ....I still haven't seen the cheeky buggar but I will and I will say high! If he looks confused I'll say "do keep up , it's me! Mrs G !"............

lemsip

oh dear, some people don't know what to take offence at next!

Exactomondo! We had some retired female officers drafted in to help the area with extra work in GPO when the directories changed format in late 70s in Manchester and we adored them! They were mostly ex forces (WW2) in their 70s I suppose?and had smashing nicknames like "Dingy Bell" "Bunty" (after Billy Bunter-apparently she was well made in her youf!) And "Jessie" (after Jessie Owens cos she used to run really fast!) They were what we named 'blue stockings' ,they were efficient extremely fast at their work , embarrassingly accurate, they put us 20 something's to shame, we all were In great awe and Admiration of them (the stories they told would make your eyes pop!) and were sad when the special task was done and they disappeared into the distance....... So what the hell has happened to appreciation and respect for elders nowadays? And yes it Is much worse than when we were young.!

CanadianGran

Oh, I did laugh it off, but I just had my 60th birthday this week, and I am the oldest at work amongst all the 30 year olds.

Work chat usually involves wedding planning, house buying, what to feed the little ones for breakfast, etc. I guess I am feeling a bit left out and didn't need a reminder.

Just feeling she was being rude, and of course she didn't think anything of it. Trying to keep my (wrinkly) chin up.

Only the one?!? Hilarious, me and my many chins of wisdom are wobbling in approval.......

Being older is ablssing surely? Who wants to die young FFS apart from The Who!

Tell her that maybe she's not explaining herself properly?!? Aka: it's her issue not the "old" laydee!

I was at the theatre in one of those never-ending interval queues for the Ladies. Suddenly the woman queuing behind me called out to the person at the head of the queue to " let the wee old wifey" go in first. Realising that this Scottish term of "endearment" was about me I tottered off to the cubicle happy in the knowledge that being considered old at a mere 60 definitely had its advantages!

Older gc to younger gc "dont be so rough with nanna, she's very very old! I was 68! When i was a teenager i thought 40 was ancient. Its all relative!

MissAdventure

Does being offended imply that old is bad?
Maybe that is what should be addressed.

I don't think so. I take offence at that implication that because I am getting older (at 62 I'm aware that I'm not a bit younger than many on here) that I am out of touch.

I don't think I am. I mix with a wide range of people, and am open to new ideas and experiences. I find that the people who assume that this is not the case are usually young people with very limited lives - the ones who have a similarly wide range of friends and acquaintances are far less likely to be patronising.

Example - the junior at my hairdresser was talking about where she was going at the weekend, and when I said that I was going to a music gig she said 'Bless', as though I was a child. Another example was when an assistant in the opticians said that she thought it was great that I was 'keeping up my little style' ?.

Until a couple of years ago, I was working in a supermarket - in a very physical job.
It was well known to management that the older ladies on the staff were, in general, far better workers than most of the younger people, especially the young men.

Does being offended imply that old is bad?
Maybe that is what should be addressed.

Ha ...doesn't offend me if someone calls me ancient ...I AM ancient !! why let it bother you ? UNLESS of course you are looking for a job, when ageism should not be rife, but sadly it is ....when redundancies are looked for it is often the oldest that is asked if they would take early retirement ..............not that the pension would be granted early .......then the suggestion of voluntary work .......unpaid of course ! Many years ago there was a poem published, which is purported to have been found by a Nurse in an elderly patient's locker after she died .....Look Closer, See Me ....still very apt

Mitten

I’m sorry but ageism is rife and I find it derogatory not funny… why should we accept labels and stereotyping at any age… we are not an homogenous group at any age… all young people are not all the same etc etc etc..

Absolutely, and to be told that objecting is an over-reaction and that we don't know what to be offended by next is offensive in itself.

I’m sorry but ageism is rife and I find it derogatory not funny… why should we accept labels and stereotyping at any age… we are not an homogenous group at any age… all young people are not all the same etc etc etc..

MerylStreep

My granddaughter who adores me always greets me with:
hello old person, how’s it going
My daughter asked me if I was offended. No!! I am ?

... your granddaughter is using the "old person" tag as a form of endearment. I sometimes refer to my partner in a similar vein (although we are the same age)... "good morning, old man". In the same way you might affectionately refer to an infant as "baby" or a young person as "young 'un"

Quite different from the casually dismissive comments from those that think old people are stupid and past it...

I am the oldest at my place of work surrounded by those in their 20s and 30s most of the time I find it no problem however now and again it catches me out like today when a fairly new colleague was coming in a room as I was leaving and he apologised for bumping into me which was fine until he called me LOVE a term I know he wouldn't ever use to anyone else I felt as, I'm in my mid 60s he thought this was acceptable petty I know but it's been a long day

Doodledog

"Thinking about it, it's the dismissiveness that is offensive - whether that's being dismissed because of age, or because the someone doesn't agree that it shouldn't be done."

Agree. Dismissing other people's concerns because they're not important to you, is flippin' offensive!

I really don't believe that "these days" people are more touchy or looking to be easily offended. I think social media and the internet has just made us more aware of just how unpleasant some individuals can be.

... and 'ageism' can range from a light-hearted remark with no intent to offend, to elderly people being physically and mentally abused. And, in between, are those who make remarks about old people without really thinking about their comments. But the fact remains that ageism is a 'thing' and... it works both ways - I get quite annoyed at the casual dismissal of young people as "snowflakes", or the insinuation that they're all selfish and entitled and all "want the latest gadgets". I remember being young and also wanting the latest gadgets, and being a tad on the self-centred, touchy side. I genuinely don't think today's youth are much different.