Christmas money - how much do you give your grown up kids?

I give my daughter and son-in-law exactly the same amount in value. I give my son the same too. I cut down how much I spend but they get the same. I consider my son in law to be family

Same as Grandmabatty!

Same as Grandmabatty does. Our son-in-laws are part of our family.
We usually buy gifts for them, but we check with our daughters to be sure we get something the son-in-laws will like.

X posts Marydoll.
Snap! ?

i don't see why you should give them any money.
they are young and presumably working.
you are retired and disabled.
maybe a token gift, or hand made card, for the thought.
never heard of parents giving grown up children money.
not done in my extended family.

We give presents. In your situation I would give vouchers of some kind.

Who you give to and how much is your business and yours alone. There is no set tarriff saying what, whether and how much you give. You decide what you want to give and who to. It is none of your sister's business to make judgements on you and your partners decisions.

If my sister did something like that. She would be told very firmly that it was none of her business.

We give presents. In your situation I would give vouchers of some kind.

Who you give to and how much is your business and yours alone. There is no set tarriff saying what, whether and how much you give. You decide what you want to give and who to. It is none of your sister's business to make judgements on you and your partners decisions.

If my sister did something like that. She would be told very firmly that it was none of her business.

She was always the bossiest out of our siblings and I don't think she'll change now

Scotchmist10, you are not a scrooge! We just buy for the (many) grandchildren, not for adults. All we do for the grown ups is a secret Santa, (elfster.com) £20 limit - so we all get one little present, quite enough.

We give presents (Oh how I wish I could give money!) and spend the same on Daughters-in-Law as we do our sons

I started to give hampers plus a voucher. They went down well last year so doing the same this year. What can I buy them that they don’t buy for themselves? They’ve got everything. So, a luxury hamper filled with wine and nice food is what they’re having.

Not F&M either! Too expensive.

Do you address it as a joint present? I send a joint voucher for a meal or overnight stay and a small present each, chocs, socks etc.

Yes with the hampers it’s to both of them. A little voucher each to spend in John Lewis too. They’re happy with that.

I buy a small gift and include an amount of money equally to son daughter and their partners. Its Christmas why not treat them they can spend the money on what they want. We got the grandchildren the Lego sets they wanted and few extras. Its our choice to give what we can according to our budgets it's not the gift it's the thought that counts.

I’ve only just texted DD2 to ask if we’re not giving gifts to adults (again) this year -just the children. She replied immediately (that’s unusual!) to say she agrees. That must be one less thing for her to think about.

In my family, the big presents were always for birthdays which made sense as they could be spread around the year. Christmas presents would be smaller, but appropriate to the recipient. Teenagers will be happy with a vouchers or hard cash!
I ask my family to make donations - sometimes chickens or a goat to an African village; sometimes equipment for a schoolteacher in the African bush. There is nothing I need in my 9th decade.

I have to confess that the gifts I give my DD and dsil are different in value. My daughter has been the sole provider for her family for the last 20 years. I admire her as she puts the food on the table the roof over their heads and the car in the drive for a family of four. Pays all bills and never complains. When it comes to the few extras she can afford she always puts herself last. At Christmas it is my pleasure to put her first and give her a few things she would never dream of buying for herself. My dsil gets nice gifts as well ...but not to the same value as DD. He always seems pleased with his gifts and is definitely happy that I can treat DD.

At Christmas we give an amount of money to each of our three children, and their partners. It is a shared gift, so they can choose what to do with it, or buy with it, together. We also give a gift to each of them, to our adult children and to their partners, so that they have something to open on Christmas Day.

How lovely BrightandBreezy you must be so proud of your daughter and so happy to treat her.

My adult children get a sum of money and my DIL and SIL get the same amount, it is a substantial amount so that they can buy something nice.

I am proud of her DillytheGardener. I know I could never cheerfully do what she does. When she was growing up she was a bit head in the clouds... Not that practical and we never dreamt she could do what she's doing. Thank you for understanding where I am coming from. ?

I think I'll send the usual amount to our daughter and maybe send them a hamper. Thankyou for your input ?

Gosh i am amazed at the generosity here. MIL gave her DS1 my DH and me a cheque for £20 and a small gift each for Christmas and birthdays .
Her DS2 the favourite, got a gift and a cheque for £1000.!
This went on for 20 years.