Christmas money - how much do you give your grown up kids?

My son has a partner not a spouse, I buy a nice gift for my son and just a token gift for the partner as his own family do exactly the same, that way they both get a good gift and a token one.

We have 4 birth children and thier wife husbands .and 6 grand children ,we either give the adult children food vouchers .for a nice meal and set of clothes etc each .grand children that’s a dif matter .I Like to buy them nice stuff ,so for tbe 4 youngest ,we have had made for them a large toy box each with their names on .and filled the boxes with stuff .the older 1s wanted hover boards with go cart attathment .which we have bought .then some. Things they like .pjs dressing gowns Nike trainers etc .

Many thanks, Forsythia!

My daughter always has a list. She doesn’t spend much on herself so I enjoy buying things for her. My son however is firmly against over consumption. If there is something he particularly wants or needs he says so but otherwise he asks for nothing. I have learned over the years that buying him things he doesn’t feel he needs causes him stress so there was no point. I usually stock him up on chocolate and wine (vegan of course). This year I am also restricting what I buy for my two grandchildren- 2 and 4. Last year they had so many presents it took them two days to open them all and by the end were quite overwhelmed. The cost will be about the same but the quantity will be greatly reduced.

I give my 3 adult children £150 each, my dd shares hers with dsil, £50 each for my 2 grandchildren to my dd and sil and my 2 ds's have a stocking worth £50 each. Foster son gets £200 stocking. I give dsil money for his birthday same as ds's and dd. I apply the stirpes rule, 3 offspring so money for gifting roughly split into 3. I don't think it would be fair to my son's if my dd and sil got £300 as and they only got £150 each.

As a recipient of food hampers in previous years I have to say they were a complete waste. No, that’s a lie, they came in wonderful wicker picnic baskets which I use for storage. Most of the food products neither of us liked and tried to palm off onto other people. We did eventually say and the hampers have now stopped.
All members of my family have the same amount spent on them at the moment but are reducing that. The parents (like us) never know what they want or are able to buy it themselves, so perhaps it’s time to just buy something for the children, or as they grow into teenage hood give them money to buy for themselves - especially the girls who enjoy a day at the shops. I’m not sending many cards this year either and I don’t expect many - actually it’s a bit “bah humbug” in our house as we’ve exhausted ourselves house renovating and I would like to skip Xmas this year all together. Now there’s a present I’d love - a gift-wrapped all round builder/plumber/decorator/handyperson (do you think there’s any in the Argos catalogue?

We have 3 AC all married, and 10 GC. We have never given money to our AC. We give presents to them all. We don't even try to give equal value gifts to them, it just depends what we find/think they need or what they ask for. It can vary from a giant Toblerone to a new washing machine (a joint present)!

This year we have asked them to make a donation to a charity of our choice rather than buy us presents. We have all we need really and it will be one less thing for them to worry about. Two of our AC have agreed to do that, the other one prefers to buy presents. We'll still give them all presents unless they tell us otherwise.

We give money (usually £25) to the four eldest GC plus a small gift. The younger ones are easy to buy for. There is no jealousy or competitiveness between our AC or GC, they happily accept whatever they're given and enjoy my quirky humour in some of the gifts they've received.

Giving (and buying) Christmas presents should be fun not an annual worry or drain on finances.

Boyfriend of two years is not quite the same as a son-in-law. I would send a smaller amount than usual to your daughter and send them a joint present - hamper as you suggest. This will signal to your daughter that your finances don't stretch to two 'same' presents but you don't want to ignore her boyfriend. If he were a son-in-law I would treat him the same as your daughter - family member. Give money but reduce the amount - vouchers are not a good idea in my book as we all have different tastes and £100 of John Lewis vouchers is no good to someone who would find much greater pleasure in putting that amount to a holiday a new bike tyre.

I don't think should comes into it or needs to apply. If a person wants to give money to grown up sons and daughters I can't see what the problem is. However, it would seem to me not quite right if a parent is not very well off to give a large amount to children who are well off. A small, well thought out present or a handmade gift should be equally welcome.

We give money according to what we wish to give and what we can afford to give. Usually it is somewhere in the region of £300 to £400 pounds, though a little less for our son's partner as they are no longer together and she has a wealthy family.

We give a similar amount for birthdays.

I would add that we have a very small family but if we had a large family and lots of gifts to buy, we would not spend that much on each individual.

My DB is living on bnenefits and rather than getting him a hamper I organise a Tesco's delivery to him with groceries, to help out.

Secret Santa all the way… saves me a fortune!

Your money, your choice!
My mum gives me £100 cash and my husband a £30 Amazon voucher (I have to sort it for her!), my parents in law usually give me £100 and DH £200, but on occasion have given him £’000’s. We’ve never thought it an issue.
My son has been working for 2 years now, so I’ve reduced his Xmas present from £500 to £200 & a couple of gifts, I also do a joint gift box for him and his partner with various vouchers (Costa, restaurant, cineworld etc) in & some cash that they can use together, as I’ve no idea what to get individually for her!
If they have children son’s cash present will be spent elsewhere!! ?

We don't give our adult children money. DS & DDIL get their annual NT family membership plus a few bits & pieces - socks, chocolates, toiletries etc - & DD & her partner get gifts to the same value as the NT membership. This year they wanted some things for their new kitchen. I wouldn't dream of giving either couple money as both earn more than we do.

I watch and listen to what is needed and wanted and do my best to accommodate. On reflection I think SP often has more in monetary value than S. I just don't think of it like that. Also, buy items spasmodically so don't even remember the cost. Certainly never give cash other than birthdays.

As I am housebound and living a long way away from my family and only in touch with via the Internet I do not give many presents. (The charity shops are full of unwanted presents after Christmas anyway and vouchers are not always used). My son and daughter in law get something useful like good quality pullovers. My grand daughter I send a substantial cheque to buy presents for her herself, her husband and three children.
My grandsons both in their fifties I send a cheque for themselves and partners. The great grand daughter at Uni I send cheque also.
They might as well as have the money whilst I am alive.
Since my husband died his family have not been in touch with me.

My MIL used to give us all £10 each for xmas. I used to make her laugh because I would spend it on m&s pants !
We all bought her presents and she would always say ‘what did you buy me THAT for?’ and then give it away to someone else.

We took the decision 3 years ago to just give our sons and daughters in law jokey token presents not costing more than £10, they do the same for us and we have all had a lot of fun choosing and no stress

I buy small gifts for son and give £s but do not give my DIL anything as we are nc. My daughter gets lots of useful small gifts and £s. If I was you I would give dd usual and just a small token gift for her partner.

I send a `hamper` as a supermarket delivery with everything they need for Christmas dinner. Wine, crackers and tin of sweets included. I see it as a gift to the family rather than to my son. I found set hampers always contain stuff people don`t like and are more expensive overall.

I would say that this is quite easy, if you can't comfortably afford any more then leave things as they are.

I think the time has come for people to stop feeling under pressure to spend so much money on family for Christmas. It puts everyone under pressure. I think for adults a secret santa where you spend around £20 is sufficient and perhaps something to unwrap for children until they are 16 (officially adults). Christmas has got out of control and we are breeding greed. I don't think its mean, just sensible.

So many Dds ACs DiL SiL MiL , BilL etc . My head is spinning

I do not have children but I have always been friendly with my ex's son, his wife and family. In the days Safeways was up and running I used to buy about £100 of vouchers and that way I knew there was a better chance of food being bought.

I now give a cheque of £75 and I know it goes towards food. If I did not, there would not be much food bought I fear.

I think for the last 4 years I have had a set of placemats sent to me- the charity shop is the willing recipient.

I don’t give my adult children or daughter in law money for Christmas I buy them each a couple of gifts and give the three grandchildren a substantial amount of money each to get what they like. They live a long way from me and I don’t see them very often.
However, I do give my adult children money for their birthdays including my D-I-L as she’s family too and I look on their birthday as their special day and in some way mine too - my giving birth day. They are happy with the arrangement and I think it’s fair.

3 of my adult children live in Australia. Due to the ridiculous cost of postage, and the fact that they are all pretty well-off, we agreed not to swap gifts. I send some money to the ones with children, and they buy and wrap a gift on my behalf.
My DD who lives near me is a single parent of 2 teenagers. I usually buy her a voucher for her favourite hairdresser/beauty salon and a gift. If I gave her money it would be spent on the family. The kids prefer cash to spend as they wish, and I get them a token gift, to wrap up for Christmas morning.
I spend what I can afford, and it's always appreciated.
There is no definitive way to buy gifts, so take no notice of other people's opinions.