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Dil has no friends.

(57 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Mon 29-Nov-21 21:38:26

She always asks me how she can make friends but has not taken my advice. She is from a far eastern country and sometimes it is hard to understand her.
I have suggested a group of foreign women on Facebook but she thinks they will all be lesbians, another group meet in the pub but she doesn't drink. She did try a ukulele group but they were all hippy types.
I'm beginning to think she doesn't really want to make the effort and her latest thought is that everyone is racist.
I don't know what more I can do to help her.

Calistemon Tue 30-Nov-21 18:48:44


Calistemon I misunderstood your point, yes expansion would have stopped me doing that. I tend to agree about odd assumptions!

No problem, Madgran ?

Madgran77 Tue 30-Nov-21 20:47:57

Secretaries did wear smart suits when I started work in the 1960s, and for many years afterwards.

Yes, that would be my impression too!

BlueBelle Tue 30-Nov-21 22:42:32

But she s making assumptions because she’s scared and trying to find a justifiable reason why she can’t go to all these things being suggested She needs one friend not hundreds ….others will follow
If she’s not only got a job ( no mean feat in a foreign country) but keeping it and doing well then her accent can’t be that bad
Is she living near you ?
How long has she been in U.K.? Maybe you re not giving her time
You mention her sister, is she here too or do you mean in phone conversation
It’s not all about language she may have very different ideas about things a different take on things a different upbringing she may not be Westernised ( lucky some might say)
R maybe you’re trying to hard and just let her settle and things will happen as time goes on

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 30-Nov-21 22:44:54

Not where I worked eb.

Madgran77 Wed 01-Dec-21 09:34:00

But she s making assumptions because she’s scared and trying to find a justifiable reason why she can’t

Yes that is a wise point Bluebelle

Hithere Wed 01-Dec-21 10:44:25

Let's not forget how difficult is to make friends

The wives have to get along, together with the husbands - double whammy there

If there are kids in involved, the kids have to want to be friends too.

It is a matter of time she will find the right people for friendships, she is not in college or school where it is so much easier