To have limited sympathy for this couple

Doodledog

I think people use different words to express annoyance or upset, and they don't always mean them literally.

My mum used to say 'this is purgatory' when talking about a TV programme she wasn't enjoying . She knew the actual meaning, but we also knew that she wasn't using the word in the literal sense. I'm guessing that this is what the wedding couple were doing.

Maybe, but to a national newspaper when many people are facing losing their livelihoods or having to cancel visits to family they haven't seen in 2 years? A bit insensitive I think. They're not being asked to cancel or drastically alter the wedding. They just have to reduce their 125 guest list to 100.

That's how I felt Beswitched especially after not seeing my family since 2019.

I can see what you both mean, but someone could come along and say 'Have you heard people moaning online about not seeing their family since 2019? They should think themselves lucky that they have a family to lose - mine all died of Covid.'

It's all relative, and I can understand a young couple feeling really fed up by having their plans ruined. It's absolutely not news, though, and the paper who printed the 'story' was setting them up for ridicule, which is also a shame, IMO.

I agree with Doodledog - they've probably been happily planning this for a year. 'Purgatory' is a bit over the top but it's just par for the course now, isn't it - like everything being 'awesome' when really it's quite good.

I also agree that they must have had their heads in the sand to plan such a huge affair at this point, even if they had to book the venue some time ago.

If Ireland refuse to accept arrivals from the UK then regrettably their problem will be solved though I wish them luck with getting a refund for the venue.

Apparently they planned it 3 years ago and have postponed it twice. Postponing it to New Year's Eve, and asking people to book flights sounds like madness during a pandemic.

Also their parents don't even come from Ireland, they 'have family here'. Hardly a good reason to continue with an overseas wedding during such uncertain times, or to become indignant and annoyed when safety guidelines mean you have to reduce your guest list slightly.

They are going to have to decide which 25 people to uninvite, and not only be uninvited but lose their money. Where do you start with that? The wedding will probably be the biggest thing they have done if they are young, and will have cost money. They will have planned it and dreamed of it. Of course they are annoyed to have it cancelled, particularly when it has been postponed twice.

I don't know why their irritation upsets you so much. If they were expecting exemption from the regulations, or campaigning to change the law I could understand better, but if they are simply expressing their feelings to a reporter who probably contacted them with a 'How do you feel now that your long-standing wedding plans have been disrupted?' type of question then I think their response is understandable.

Whether they should have booked it or not is easy to see with hindsight, but advice that needs time travel is never welcome . My son is getting married in the Spring. The ceremony is just for immediate family, so unless there is a total lockdown or travel restrictions it will go ahead. The party is a week later, and is a much bigger affair. They got engaged last July (ie 2020) and May 2022 seemed ages away when they booked the venue. If it can't go ahead they will be very disappointed, but can you honestly say that they were irresponsible or foolish to pick a date nearly 2 years after the engagement? It is in the UK, but some of their guests will be travelling from abroad.

Covid is unpredictable, and things might not go ahead as planned, but I don't think they should wait forever to get married in case there is an upsurge in numbers. Life has to go on, albeit with an eye on the numbers and a readiness to change plans at the last minute. I can still spare a lot of sympathy for that young couple, though.

I agree with you Beswitched I think it tasteless to grumble, publicly or otherwise, about the number of guests you can have to your wedding.

I was invited to a big birthday party a few weeks ago and decided not to go. Almost everyone there got covid including the birthday girl, despite asking everyone to have a negative LFT .beforehand.

So many travelling to another country, inviting 150 guests all mixing at the wedding is asking for trouble during a pandemic.

Understandably they will be disappointed as are millions whose life has been put on hold. Missing seeing family I would think, is worse.

Why can 25 guests who live locally not cancelled to allow the 25 with flights attend. The exceeded 25 could always be invited to a "do" at another time to celebrate.

Son and girlfriend had to cancel wedding twice due to restrictions. Ended up having a small wedding (seven people) in town, photographs in the park, meal in local restaurant, doughnuts and coffee at home. It was a lovely day!

Just responding to the OP, I think to plan a large wedding in a different country in the middle of winter just at this time was probably ill advised. Even if it was planned a year ago, thinking that the pandemic would be over by now. Thousands of people have had their wedding plans disrupted over the last two years. It’s sad, but true.

Weddings are supposed to be the best day of your lives. Personal I feel sorry for them this virus has taken so much from so many people and families. I myself missed my latest granddaughter being born she was nearly 5 months before I got to meet her. We are spending our lives indoors away from our families. That’s not living our lives too our fullest that’s sitting on your sofa lol

My friend was due to fly to see her sister in Germany yesterday. She got a text at 10.30 pm from the airline informing her that due to the rise of the virus Germany only allowing their own nationals in. She is obviously upset but not complaining to everyone about it. I agree it’s sad for the couples wedding but we are living in uncertain times. I havnt seen my own do. N his family since July 2019 n guess will be summer now 2022 all due to Covid and as Japan very strict n closed borders I have to accept it. A large party of people gathering together isn’t a very good idea at all. Sorry for the couple though.

Marydoll I was intrigued by your comment about your daughter getting married in your garden (how lovely that must have been) but in England a couple can only marry in registered venues such as a church, hotel, or registry office. Not in someone’s garden, hence the outcry over Meghan claiming to have been married in their garden three days before the wedding.
It’s interesting that the rules are different in Scotland, but clearly they are, hence young couples eloping to Gretna Green years ago.

They got permission from the local registrar, Maddyone, all legal, but a bit problematic due to restrictions.
The council offices were open, by appointment only!
It was probably the nicest wedding I have ever been to.
Of course I am biased!

I’ve never been able to understand why any travel has been allowed at all over the last 18 months or so.

Planning a wedding at all is ridiculous too....especially one like this.

So yes, I agree with you totally. You’re not being unreasonable.

It sounds absolutely lovely Marydoll and far safer for you as you were shielding.

Apart from anything else, I wouldn't have known 100 people to invite to my wedding!

A lot of weddings are booked 3 yrs in advance especially if it’s a popular venue.
Some places are booked up to five yrs

A German friend eloped to Gretna green in the mid 60s. At that time you had to be 21 to marry without permission here and probably the same in Germany but it must have been 18 in Scotland. It was seen as very romantic. Still married over 55 years later.
My dd is in only in Europe but we havnt seen her for over 2 years, it’s hard on us all.

I feel sorry for those that have booked tickets and will get no refund. Regardless of the circumstances. Nobody likes to be out of pocket

I understand people being unsympathetic. I think if has been planned and booked since covid it is harder to sympathise. But if it was booked pre covid, then they may have paid large deposits and have already had to postpone. My sons wedding was booked pre covid and was pmdue to take place earlier this year. We postponed to next spring, but actually had a very small wedding on the original date. It was lovely, but none of my family could attend. Plan is for wedding celebration at original venue on rebooked date. If it can't go ahead we may just cancel. But we will lose the large deposit we have paid the venue, plus other deposits paid. But we do count our blessings compared to many others.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. This was obviously going to happen, people had treated covid as if it had gone away. Sounds like the couple are just upset and throwing their toys out of the pram, but to complain in a newspaper seems churlish.

I’d like to make 3 points.
It’s natural to overreact to a big disappointment. It doesn’t mean they’re not aware of the serious problems so many people currently have.
We need hope and faith to get through this. If this means plans being cancelled it’s still right to make them and look forward.
People should organise their weddings as they see fit. It’s not for others to make comments or criticisms.