AIBU to not disclose compensation

Limits you to £100 spending money a month??? Are you completely mad? That’s financial abuse!

We don’t have any joint accounts either but for various sensible reasons. I have several accounts in my name and I don’t do any paid work these days. DH is retired and receives the income into his main bank account. He pays my credit card bill and transfers whatever I ask for per month into my account, for spending.

Why are you still married to him? What are you getting out of this relationship? My DH would never treat me as anything less than an equal partner. I can’t imagine living with someone who was so controlling and abusive, to be honest. It doesn’t sound like a very loving partnership.

In your shoes I’d make an appointment with a Divorce lawyer in the New Year.

It wouldn’t show as a credit because it isn’t a credit ,it is compensation for being without power, £70 per day after the first 48 hrs.
If he is aware that compensation is due and chases it up and they say we sent a cheque in your name, what would his reaction be? Only you know if it’s worth it, and if you divorced you would be entitled to half of his savings, house, it is both of your monies.
If you do housework , cook , clean etc, that has a price attached to it

Did you perhaps qualify for the compensation due to your health situation? If so were you and you alone affected? Was more energy consumed. If your DH pays the bill surely he is entitled to the money if more cost was involved. If the payment is made out in your name then wouldn't it be difficult to pay into his bank account.

Your husband doesn’t know anything about emails and you deal with them. You must know what the stuff from the electricity company which comes through to your phone is. You dodge that point every time it’s raised. You are the account holder, you are well aware of that, it’s why you’ve received a compensation cheque if indeed you have - very few big businesses use them - and this is all a heap of old cod.

This is weird. From where did they get your name as the addressee? Are you sure that your husband is not paying the W&E bill in your name, for some kind of benefits / discounts / allowances? I'd tell him. He might already know that you (plural) are due a refund, anyway, and if he does not know and finds out, he'll accuse you of keeping other refunds / cheques from him.

MissAdventure good lord! cross examination too true, whoaaaa, i only wanted a brief take on the matter, tell or hush thy mouth forever

Ohh well, it is what it is, i guess its been entertaining to say the least.

I might buy numerous lottery tickets and if i win big bucks, i will give him a few quid, can't say fairer than that, but in the meantime the cheque stays in my bag and i walk about in a dilemma hahaha.

Once again, thank you everyone.

I would certainly not have email if it wasn't that my work uses it as the usual method of communication.
I hate it!

When he was 48, my father had a nervous breakdown I know that’s not a term they use anymore, but you’ll get my meaning!

During this time and forever afterwards he was exactly like this with my Mum. Aside from the fact that he was wealthy anyway, both of his parents died and he kept all of the inheritance. You may think that’s fair enough, except that my Mum’s parents had died some years before and she put the money into joint ventures e.g. paying off their mortgage, huge home improvements and buying him a flashy car.

He used the breakdown as a reason for being abusive to her in other ways too.

She had put everything into their marriage, he wanted a large family, yet she was expected to bring us up singlehandedly.

Her eldest child was born at a time when women were expected to give up work as soon as they started a family. Eventually she did take her accountancy exams and she could work. Even then he would only ‘let’ her work part time.

You have my sympathy Serendipity22 you are experiencing financial abuse.

Keep the cheque. He’d do the same to you.

When did your pocket money last increase? I think it’s time to push for more each month. Whether you do get an increase or not I hope that you are able to squirrel some of it away for a rainy day?

Ofgem state customers can get compensation for power cuts of £70 for first 24 hours, then £70 for each subsequent 12 hour period:

www.ofgem.gov.uk/information-consumers/energy-advice-households/check-compensation-rules-power-cut-or-supply-problem Serendipity22 is clearly the customer if the bill is in her name.

I can't believe her husband doesn't have an email account, not if he has any savings worth worrying about. Perhaps he doesn't have much money and the £100 per month wife's pockey money is actually him being generous!

KEEP IT!

I reckon you've earned that money by ensuring the cross examination of your financial status and expenses.
Blow the lot of it!

Ok....
Here goes. Husband is not technology savvy so if an email is needed for anything it is always mine as he doesnt have 1.

The check has nothing whatsoever to do with benefits as i dont claim anything to do with receiving a reduction on A,B or C.

My only guess is as 1 of the gransnetters pointed out, that the cheque MAY have been put in my name because the house is in my nam, this i have no concrete evidence of, only guess work but whatever reason, a cheque has arrived through the letterbox in my name and i am in a dilemma whether to disclose or keep shhhhh.

Use it towards an appointment with a divorce lawyer

Hithere

OP

You are severely under reacting

You are stuck looking at a leaf (the check) and ignoring the forest (the overall situation)

How financially savvy are you? From your comments, sounds like not much.

You are 10 years younger than your husband.
Are you aware of passwords, what accounts are setup where, due dates of bills, how much to pay every month know bills, how much money on both accounts, etc?

If he is not able to be earn or passes away, you are left with a house and your account. A house is not a liquid asset like money in the bank.

How are you planning to support yourself? What money to use? What budget?
Are you assuming other people will step up and help you if he dies (family members, for example)?

Instead you are scared you are "hiding" a check that came under your name, scared of his reaction.
That says everything.

Please get your head out of the sand and dont be an ostrich.

You are in trouble as your financial future is not planned.

Actually I'd be making enquiries about his will! It's not always the case that wife gets the lot automatically! Not if he wills otherwise, in which case you'll be age to fight your corner and prove your worthy. He sounds an absolute horses rear end(sorry Dobbin) worse things have happened but not often!

Is it not possible to bank the cheque and then inform the husband? Or would there be a scene, with demands for the money or the withholding of the monthly ‘allowance’ until cleared? Might be upsetting, but it might clear the air! I must admit that this scenario sounds like an attempt to exercise a great deal of control by the husband of a vulnerable person and is certainly not in accordance with the marriage vows one takes (or the law!). I understand this as my ex was similar-he even tried to get more than his share of our jointly owned house when we parted as he said I had not worked for nine years looking after OUR children. (Didn’t work, of course!) In this circumstance I think that at the best it is old fashioned, although if it suits the couple no doubt it might work for them.

I’m really shocked at this. It’s like not a proper partnership! If you have children I hope they don’t copy him in any way specifically if it’s sons you have! I have daughters and if I found out about a husband treating his wife like that, I would definitely tell them not to continue with the relationship, even if it was just the fathers actions , not the sons belief. They could end up with a real Scrooge. It’s incredibly abusive in my opinion, and controlling and I cannot believe anyone would accept this situation. Take the cheque, pay it in and if he wants a row about it, stand up for yourself about his attitude to money, just tell him you’ve paid it in.!!!

I'm much the same, and I live in my own.
I tend to just let these things wash over me, and not worry, as long as I can manage.
I have no idea of my outgoings or income, off the top of my head, and I would be hard pushed to find the paperwork for everything.

cheque in your name he cannot bank it in his account.but why in your name i would check with thesupply company what name the account isin if yours then the cheque is yours

No. I suffered a selfish mean 1st H who used to keep me so short of funds I always believed we struggled on his salary when I was at home with kids for 8years.so I was very frugal ,underweight and both GM basically clothed the DC. Then I found a salary slip in 1984 showing earnings in xs of 30k which was a tidy sum then. his attitude was "when you put in you can expect out" he also tried to get me to shoulder costs of fraudulent extra 10k mortgage in divorce that he'd used to buy business for his bit on side!!! All because I was "kept in the dark" and never allowed to share "our" money!!! So NO NO NO you keep this money it's seems precious little to the stash he's keeping from you! Partner? Doesn't know meaning of the word!

No, don't keep it. Do you really want to bring yourself down to his level? Show him that you are better than that. Good luck ?

OP declines to say what the ‘stuff coming through on her phone’ from the electricity company is despite several requests. It’s pretty obvious she’s the electricity account holder, probably taken over when she inherited the house, and knows far more than she’s letting on whilst everyone speculates. How long did it take for her to say the house is in her sole name after castigating her husband for keeping cash to himself? A total wind up.

In the US, you get refinancing offers with a sample check for the bonus- not real.

jaylucy what would be the point of someone sending a fake cheque?

Bank the cheque, say nowt, stay in your cloud of soppy confusion.

I have to wonder why the cheque is in your name if he pays the bills - or some of the bills have been put in your name for some reason and if they are paid online, it doesn't seem to matter whose name they are in as long as it's paid!
I have to wonder why this cheque has arrived and if it is actually kosher - didn't think any businesses dealt in the things these days!
Call wherever it came from, just to make sure it's kosher and then put it in your bank account. Think I would be inclined to "forget" it ever arrived !