Not resolutions, but is there anything you're "not" going to do this year, or anything you "are" going to do this year (covid permitting of course)

I am going to be more positive. Life is too short to carry old 'grudges' or disappointments into a new year.
I am responsible for my own health and I will prioritize making genuine improvements.
I am going to avoid stressful people.
I am going to find a way of doing small random acts of kindness every week.
I am going to cherish the people I love,
A very dear friend has a huge mountain to climb to get her health back on track. She lives in another part of the country.
I will say a prayer for her every day to find the courage and strength to cope with her very challenging treatment. I will keep in regular contact with her and as I have done during the past six months reassure her that if she is not up to responding that does not matter. She needs to know that her friends and family love and care about her. I was thrilled to hear from her at Christmas and New Year. I know it was probably a big effort for her.
My father used to say "Never under-estimate the power of prayer". I am not especially religious these days but my first internal reaction when I hear of someone's misfortune is to ask for help for them. I don't usually tell them or anyone else.

We'll I need to start tomorrow now. We've been out to lunch. I've had chips, wine and a couple of chocolates This doesn't bode well. I have walked 7000 steps though. That eases my conscience slightly.

I’m also going to try and get out and walk every day . Eat more healthily and try to stop worrying so much about my family and things I can’t put right for them .
And to put myself first for a change ( don’t know if I will be able to do that tho ) I find it hard to say no if anyone asks me to do anything for them .

I'm going to be more proactive in my life. If I have a problem I'm going to deal with it there and then. I'm going to recycle properly again I had waned because I kept forgetting to put full recycling bin out. Mostly I'm giving the vending machine at work after seeing the majority of my transactions on my online banking were for the vending machine

Just two. I'm NOT going to pick DH up every time he forgets something I told him the day before! Or even half an hour before. His memory's fading fast, not just ancient history (great swathes of our lives together is erased from his memory forever due, apparently, to copious amounts of alcohol consumed every day, twice a day for fifty years) but recent stuff. But in 2022 I am never going to nag him about it ever! And I'm NOT going to let the terrible experience I had with a rescue dog, after waiting two years for one and being promised a pet and being sent Cujo, put me off trying for one again.

Time to take control of myself be kinder let my MH get a lot better; this last year things have gotten worse for me. I don't really want counselling again but I have found it harder and harder to live with past things I have to learn somehow after 50 odd years to let the past go. tried before but this time I have to make it work.
try and sort out my insomnia.
having been threatened so to speak with a gastric band I need to stop eating lots of junk eat healthier perhaps go back to SW mainly to support my partner who has similar problems. I know that it does not work that well for me but at least I can use the support and do the plan but with a few tweaks to help me cope with it.
to put my heart and soul into my relationship; nearly 8 years on I love him dearly and it's been a bad 2 years but I don't want us to finish we have to work through things together. in all sense its to do with my MH as well

Every New Years Day I write a 'To Do' List, so far it consists of:

Decorate the downstairs hall.

Get the ensuite shower fixed.

Clear out my Craft Room and ruthlessly dispose of what I no longer use.

Clear as much as we can from the loft.

Use my exercise bike more often if not daily.

Start writing a 'This Is Me' book so that my children and grandchildren can know something of the young me and my upbringing, and not always think of me as a parent and grandparent.

Find a gardener. I think it's time to admit we need a bit of help even if it's only mowing the lawn every few weeks.

My 'Not To Do' List would be:

DO NOT leave DH to do all the cooking. It's a habit we've settled into. He enjoys it and he's good at it, but it's not very fair of me.

DO NOT nibble so much! Chocolate, biscuits, marzipan, hot cross buns, I can't resist them, no willpower whatsoever!

DO NOT start several craft projects at the same time. Finish one before starting another.

DO NOT worry about things that may or may not happen. Take life as it comes.

I am definitely going to to out and do things much more, appreciate the things I have more and not get stressed about unimportant stuff ( in the great scheme of things.)

Purplepoppies, I’m happy to hear that you are taking care of yourself first. I also take on too much of my family’s responsibilities, to the point that I have no time for me. The stress is ridiculous. If I don’t help, they make me feel sooo guilty. I still work full time and have my own home and husband to take care if. I have a sister, divorced with no children that rarely helps out. This angers me to no end.

My parents always take my sister’s side, telling me that I’m smarter, stronger and that I’m able to handle things and she can’t. I’m not jealous, more disappointed because I feel that this is so unfair. I take my parents to all doctor appointments, make all of their phone calls, take care of bill payments online (as they don’t know how to operate computer), look after their accounting, etc. I always take days off work to help my parents, where my sister won’t. I’ve spoken to my parents about this, but they keep saying that they want us to get along. If I tell my sister to help out, she complains to my parents. So, I try my best to keep my mouth shut so I don’t hurt my parents. It’s both physically and emotionally exhausting.

I was going to say I'll try to beat my procrastination habit but as Yoda says, "There is no try, only do!" So I will declutter and then relocate my sewing room from its current location, in the conservatory (brrrrr....), to the walk-in wardrobe room that's currently a junk room.

I will be kinder to myself. I've started by acknowledging that, after 36 years in this house, I have only one and a bit junk locations (spare bedroom and walk-in wardrobe). That's not so bad so it's not as over facing as I thought.. There's nothing but insulation in my loft!

I will clean out my gutters.

Poshpaws, I lost my Grandma from suicide at 10 years old. Grandma was only 55 and she was in a lot of mental pain. My mother was only 33. It was very difficult for the family, especially my for my mom. I wish I could have helped her, but I was young and not aware of everything that was going on as Grandma lived in another house with Grandpa and her 20 year old son. It was my uncle, her son that found her. He was devastated.

I hope you get the help you so deserve, Poshpaws. You need to take care of you first. You matter. Take care.

Mattsmum2, like you I’m going to try really hard not to get angry at my sister as it upsets both of my parents. I walked out of my parents home the other day just to get away from my sister. Then, I felt guilty for upsetting everyone.

Please do poshpaws .reading your messsge made me cry .

I am moving into a rented flat at the end of January so that I can finally get the house sorted out enough to sell it and buy a flat of my own.

Brilliantly inspiring thread. Hugs to the ones who need it. Poshpaws .

OH and I have been eating lunch out at least once a week for the last year or so - when restrictions allow! We will carry on with this. We like food and it helps the economy. Along with others, I too want to get my house smartened up. Last year we had the dining room and downstairs loo redecorated, but sadly the decorator has retired due to ill health. Decent decorators in my area are like gold dust. We also need to think about how we will manage future holidays. OH’s health issues mean we cannot share a room unless absolutely necessary. I’m not fond of self catering although we had a good holiday in November in Devon - mainly because we ate out every day apart from breakfast. I love cooking but like a break on holiday. We have stayed in hotels (abroad) in a two bedroom suite, but only when we’ve been upgraded! I have heard there are hotels in the UK where you can have two rooms with a connecting door. Perhaps I’ll look into this.

Not buying any more cushions or shoes ?

I want to be less stressed. I know the PTSD clinic waiting list is long but fingers crossed I'll be at the top soon.
To help myself I'm not going to take on everyone else's stress. I have enough of my own.
This will come as a huge shock to certain people but if they can't start thinking for themselves it will just have to be tough! My mental health has to be my priority this year.

Blondiescot

Urmstongran - the diabetes prevention course sounds interesting. I'd be keen to know more about it and what is involved, if you don't mind keeping us all updated?

I’ve just finished my time on the diabetes course. I started before lockdown and the classes were held at the local leisure centre. We were weighed and measured and a note taken if our blood sugar readings. There were exercises and talks about healthy eating and some very useful knowledge about which foods are high in sugar. I was stunned to learn that pitta bread is very high! Anyway, then covid struck and it was weeks before we were finally put onto a zoom class run by weight watchers. You download the App, track your daily eating, it has recipes and lots if advice but the weekly zoom meetings are basically social with the coach asking who wants to share their challenges or successes. I’ve got to say I don’t think it’s anywhere near as good as the physical classes but I kept attending anyway. You have to log your weight at each meeting and that is sent to your GP. It is free if you’ve been referred so no cost involved.
I did reduce my blood sugar by a few points over the year but actually gained weight, I’m told this is due to having to take steroids.
All in all I’m not a fan of the online programme but that’s just me.

I need to reduce my drinking in the evening. I love a glass or three at night. It's not easy to give it up though following a recent bereavement. Also travelling alone now seems scary. So, my first resolution is to do an activity most evenings to help with drink reduction and book a holiday. Can I do it though.

I'm going to get back into my weight training, though not as hardcore as before.

Happy New Year, I too have a diabetic prevention course to book so you have inspired me to take the plunge before it’s too late !
I’ve been doing a 16hour fast and 8 hour food window for 4 months now mainly because I’m overweight and my arthritic joints have been protesting , I thought I would never be able to keep it going but weigh once a week and so happy this morning that I’ve cracked the 10 stone marker .. now 9stone 12 lbs down from 11st 2lbs so very pleased with myself, at 5’ 2” the loss really shows now a size 12 not size 16 …. It’s a new way of life for me and I have so much more energy..
My goal weight is 9st 7lbs but I’ll keep on with the Fastic fasting app and hopefully achieve my goal

I am going to put myself first.
Something I have tried but failed at so many times.

I wrote a novella in draft on my smart phone last year. It took nine months and I kept going. I'm going to rework it and self publish. The provisional title is: Naked Nuns. Make what you will of that!

Poshpaws - hugs
Kittypaws49 - I'm so sorry for your loss - hugs