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Constantly feeling undermined by my husband

(33 Posts)
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Rosalyn69 Mon 03-Jan-22 14:00:00

My husband thinks he can do d dry thing better than me. I have learned to just let him get on with it.

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nadateturbe Mon 03-Jan-22 13:44:54

He sounds like he is interested but is just lazy. Tell him to start his own project and not to interfere with yours!

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MayBeMaw Mon 03-Jan-22 13:33:13

Is now the time to explain the concept of “mansplaining” to your grandchildren?

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Aveline Mon 03-Jan-22 13:23:50

I sympathise. I've just hoovered up the Christmas tree residue and cat fur with DH at my shoulder telling me how I should be doing it then looking hurt when I told him to leave me to get on with it!

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Chardy Mon 03-Jan-22 13:14:58

Florence this would send me insane. You have my sympathy.

Explain to him that doing these projects with DGC only lasts for a short time, they get older and don't want to 'play' with grandparents any more. This time is precious to you, and him coming in at the end, making you and the kids feel bad that the project isn't perfect, it's spoiling it.

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Elizabeth27 Mon 03-Jan-22 13:08:02

From his point of view, he is only trying to help, the same as when you step in to help the child that has gone wrong in a project.

You don’t want to shut him out and you don’t want him to help, not sure what you want him to do. Surely you are learning from him what to do next time.

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Namsnanny Mon 03-Jan-22 13:07:46

My take on what you describe is that your feelings are indeed valid.
How you handle it I'm not so sure. His nose will be put out of joint what ever.
Is it possible to involve him from the conception of the next project? Ask him if there is anything he would like to do but all of you do it together?
Being charitable, perhaps he feels left out?

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Florence123 Mon 03-Jan-22 13:00:51

I am often initiating projects to do with my grandchildren, I gather all the materials needed, including the instructions.
We start the project (latest one making gummy bears) and get to the end. The result is sometimes not as good as we had hoped so we spend sometime trying to figure out what happened. This is such a good part of the project as we are learning what to do next time. My husband comes along and starts to work out what we could have done better and then starts to take over to improve the result. Now rationally this would seem as if he is only trying to help but I feel quite undermined by his input and my grandson begins to lose interest. He never starts a project with the grandchildren just muscles in on mine. I have suggested he does the next project but he doesn't seem inclined to do so. I don't want to shut him out but I don't want him coming in to tell us what we should have done either. Am I turning this into a competition or are my feelings valid?

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