Constantly feeling undermined by my husband

My take on what you describe is that your feelings are indeed valid.
How you handle it I'm not so sure. His nose will be put out of joint what ever.
Is it possible to involve him from the conception of the next project? Ask him if there is anything he would like to do but all of you do it together?
Being charitable, perhaps he feels left out?

From his point of view, he is only trying to help, the same as when you step in to help the child that has gone wrong in a project.

You don’t want to shut him out and you don’t want him to help, not sure what you want him to do. Surely you are learning from him what to do next time.

Florence this would send me insane. You have my sympathy.

Explain to him that doing these projects with DGC only lasts for a short time, they get older and don't want to 'play' with grandparents any more. This time is precious to you, and him coming in at the end, making you and the kids feel bad that the project isn't perfect, it's spoiling it.

I sympathise. I've just hoovered up the Christmas tree residue and cat fur with DH at my shoulder telling me how I should be doing it then looking hurt when I told him to leave me to get on with it!

Is now the time to explain the concept of “mansplaining” to your grandchildren?

He sounds like he is interested but is just lazy. Tell him to start his own project and not to interfere with yours!

My husband thinks he can do d dry thing better than me. I have learned to just let him get on with it.

*everything

Does he do this in other aspects of your life?

Personally, my reaction to something like this is to give him advance notice and arrange to sit down one day and discuss it. Not in an accusatory manner, but as problem the two of you have that needs to be resolved.

Your husband sounds like my boss

Oh God - this taking over is a man thing.

Mine took it upon himself to install some security app on my computer and phone which stopped me opening a lot of links.
I waited for my blood to stop boiling then uninstalled it and threatened him not to touch my stuff again.

Being right all the time sucks the joy from life, don't you think?

Maybe try talking to him about how children learn effectively ...problem solving, working out solutions etc for themselves, learning from the mistakes ....and that "just being told" doesn't cut it which is why your grandson loses interest. It is no longer his project, it has been taken over by an adult!!

Say to him that it therefore isn't helping your grandson if he solves the problems, even though you know he is trying to help!

Say to him that he is welcome to do a project separate to you with your grandson on his own BUT that when you are doing a project with your grandson you will do it your way and do not want any help/suggestions etc ...because you want to share the learning with your grandson, not listen to someone else telling you both what to do!

Once you have had that conversation then if he starts to take over next time, remind him and say clearly ...we want to solve it ourselves, it helps our learning.

If he doesn't listen, joins in anyway. repeat, repeat, repeat ...!

Your feeling are valid. Explain them and expect them to be respected!!

Is he an engineer by any chance?

I think it’s a man thing! ?. You’re in good company Florence123

Mine’s and engineer....and an authority on everything my husband thinks you’re lucky to have such a ‘ supportive ‘ husband ?. He wants to know what gummy bears are ?

I've known a few people like this who always know how things should be done and not the way you do them!

They go out of their way to put you right.

I usually just say "ok you do it" and walk away.

You have a valid point. Your DH sounds a bit like mine! He is focussing on the finished product rather than understanding the importance of allowing the GC to figure things out for themselves (with your assistance) He thinks he is helping by guiding them and telling them what to do. He means well I am sure - but has missed the point! Could you explain to him that it is not the finished product that is important , it is how the GC has got there and learned by making mistakes. He may then begin to understand that is how children learn and have fun at the same time ! Good luck , but if he is anything like my lovely DH he probably won't ' get it '!!

When DH and I have, separately, done any craft work with DGs, neither of us would muscle in unless invited or asked our opinion.

He does have occasional brave days, suggesting an alternative to my way of doing things but knows if I come to a halt with a quizzical look, it is my polite questioning of….seriously?? I then count to ten and continue.

Your feelings are indeed valid Florence. I am sure you are more than capable without your DH’s input and if he is good at figuring things out, let him figure out himself where he is going wrong, he is an adult.

If my dh does this (and yes, he’s an engineer ) , I tell him to micromanage his own life, not mine!

Florence123, just tell him to keep out - and get his own project. Stick up for yourself!

Sounds very familiar ?? And the chances of him understanding even when you've explained to him what you want of him are pretty low. At least first time. I don't think it's a man thing either, lots of women are like that too. My mother, for one.

I make a joke of it with Mr A (after counting to ten, that is) and say something like 'Well I wish you had been here at the start to tell me where I was going to go wrong. Might have saved me some time'. I don't feel undermined by it though, just annoyed. Mr A sounds a bit like him though, he rarely starts things himself although he does like to get involved in what I am doing.

Say “One man, one job” then tell him to retire to his shed.

I took down the decorations today it took ages packed them all away ready to go out for storage. After it was done suggestions were made but nothing would fit in, I walked away and came back to find everything tipped in together. Guess who is getting them out this year and then packing them away. It's a man thing!!!!!!! .
My worktops were given a" thorough" clean and all the granite protector has been lifted in big streaks. I will not be applying the next lot or buffing them up.
My late father was exactly the same I call DH by my fathers name.

Most of these are hilarious ??