Holiday with another couple

I know just how you feel pink Cosmos - I don't own a pair of these big girl knickers either, where do you get them I wonder. I know its impossible to 'talk to them'.
How far have you got with this March holiday?
I mean, have you booked and paid for it? Has the other couple booked and paid for it too?
If its all done and dusted then the job's done and you're committed, if not you may wriggle out of it using the 'romantic' idea.
I know it can be difficult to convince a husband to back you up in cases like this, will he help or just 'go with the flow'?

We went away once with another couple
It worked well as we all did what we wanted and met up sometimes for meals or trips.
I much preferred to holiday on our own though

We have done it twice with the same couple and their only child. We benefited from having some adult company and her son enjoyed the company of our three children. So it worked ok, but we didn’t spend more than a week.

I think you first have to sort it out with your husband. You both need to agree that a holiday on your own would be nice. Explain to him that it is something you have missed.

Once you are both in agreement then, you can simply tell your friends that this time it's just going to be the two of you.

Oh God it would be my worse nightmare!! And I am just like you in that I am non confrontational at all - I mean at our age wouldn't you have thought we would have bought some big girl knickers!!

Surely if you are close friends they will realise that your interests are different? How about saying that your DH has a lovely time on holiday with them as his likes align with theirs, whereas when you are on holiday alone he will visit historical sights with you and not sit round a pool all day - which is delightful for some people but you get bored too easily. If you say it in a light hearted way you should be able to fob them off.

I would frankly rather sh1t in my hands and clap than go on holiday with another couple - the very thought makes my blood run cold

As someone has said, PinkC, put your big girl pants on and have a word! As I have said before, it never ceases to be amaze me the number of women who just won’t speak up! There are some ladies in my WI whose husbands simply walk all over them! Life is too short, surely, to have a miserable existence.

PinkCosmos

Thanks for the replies.

I think DH doesn't mind going away with them. He is much more sociable than me.

I can be a bit of a loner sometimes and don't crave many friends.

They are a lovely couple but you can have too much of a good thing.

I don't feel like I can relax the same way if we go away with other people. I feel like I am always going with the flow which means I miss out on some things that I would like to do. For example, The other couple are quite sporty. I am not. I prefer visiting interesting historical places.

My DH seems to always side with the other couple about what we should do when we are away. I don't know whether he is as bad as me in that he doesn't want to cause an upset and just goes along with things for an easy life.

I suppose I could always go off on my own for an hour or so but I fear that will make me look weird and like I am sulking.

I suppose I am just going to have to suck it up.

No it wouldn’t look weird at all ! Just say it like it is and go .. maybe talk to husband first and say you’d like him to join you on some activities

You could be my twin! Such a shame not to be able to enjoy a holiday, I wouldn’t either and feel for you. Perhaps you can persuade your H not to do this again.

Thanks for the replies.

I think DH doesn't mind going away with them. He is much more sociable than me.

I can be a bit of a loner sometimes and don't crave many friends.

They are a lovely couple but you can have too much of a good thing.

I don't feel like I can relax the same way if we go away with other people. I feel like I am always going with the flow which means I miss out on some things that I would like to do. For example, The other couple are quite sporty. I am not. I prefer visiting interesting historical places.

My DH seems to always side with the other couple about what we should do when we are away. I don't know whether he is as bad as me in that he doesn't want to cause an upset and just goes along with things for an easy life.

I suppose I could always go off on my own for an hour or so but I fear that will make me look weird and like I am sulking.

I suppose I am just going to have to suck it up.

Ah well, good luck with the resistance! And give your husband a talking to about what you want from a holiday

Preferred our holidays with just each other, we did have some with friends or family, but we didn’t enjoy the as much.

Only went away once with newish friends and it was a disaster. Our own fault as we had not really known them that long and we did not understand each others likes and dislikes. Mr J and I prefer to holiday on our own. You just need to be upfront with them and say that you and your Husband are going to holiday alone this year.

I couldn’t bear it no matter how much I liked them. I understand you wanting to spend time with your husband and do whatever you want. If you don’t knock it on the head it will be expected every year for the rest of your life! I think saying it’s a romantic break just the two of you and not offering anything else is the way to go, then come the next holiday you can say you enjoyed the romantic break so much you’re doing it again. And so on each year until they get the message.

Sounds like DH likes going away with them, perhaps he prefers that to just a couples break. Someone else to chat to, eat meals with, sightsee with?

Baggs - my DH told them. We see them quite often so it would be hard to keep it from them anyway.

If it had been the other way around I would have taken the hint if they had booked a holiday without inviting us.

Time to put on your big girl pants and say that you are looking forward to spending time with your husband and him alone. Then drop the rope. Don't give them any more information. If they ask again just keep repeating that you want to spend time with your husband. The Mumsnet standby would suit "That doesn't work for us"

Are you in a position to go away twice? Perhaps you could tell them that the two of you are going for a romantic break (your husband would have to back you of course) but would be happy to arrange a long weekend with them later in the year.

I don't think you're being unreasonable but why did you tell them you were going on holiday in March?

Well we're still in a pandemic and would say that you're not comfortable making precise plans at moment...