Overwhelmed or being a drama queen

Pammie1

Lovely, supportive post.

Shandy57

Droopdrawers, depending on your age, you might also like to join the WAY UP on line site for widows.

They have been a great support to me in every way, they also have a facebook page.

I turned to Wayup after my husband died. I found it hugely supportive and still keep in touch with several local members. The people are at various stages after their bereavements and have a wealth of experience and advice, which they are always willing to share. In your quieter moments it can be really calming to be among people who know exactly what you’re going through and you can say what’s on your mind, safe in the knowledge that you won’t be ridiculed or criticised. Please do give it a go.

You have so much on your shoulders at the moment - you’re still very early on in the grieving process and you have to deal with everything else being thrown at you while you’re trying to cope with the huge change in your life. Glad you have reached out for help from your GP - medication takes a while to start working but hang in there because it really helps, as does talking therapy . I had a ten week session after I lost my husband and it helped me sort out and come to terms with quite a few issues. I wish you well and I’m sure everyone here has their fingers crossed that you and your children will come through this difficult time and that that things will get better for you all. ?

The other good people on here have offered good advice. A year is not long bereaved and I definitely think you need someone to talk to. Im so sorry you are going through all this, it's an awful lot.

Whenever I've had a "big worry," I've found referring it to a professional made it their responsibility, not mine, and made it easier to live with.

Droopdrawers you are anything but a drama queen xx

Droop[drawers, you can't do miracles. You can do only what you can and no more.

way-up.co.uk/

Link to the site for widows, it was a lifesaver for me.

Droopdrawers, depending on your age, you might also like to join the WAY UP on line site for widows.

They have been a great support to me in every way, they also have a facebook page.

Droop - thinking of you

Just a quick update. Finally got through to the doctor today. She was very supportive. Put on medication and referral for therapy. Feel a bit calmer today. Still worried but feel less overwhelmed. Thank you all for your kindness. Never used to think that these sites were any good, to be honest but you have all been amazing. Do not feel so alone now. Xx

Droopdrawers

Just a quick update. Finally got through to my doctor. She was very kind. Has suggested medication and referred me for therapy. Feeling a bit calmer today. Thank you all for your support. Xx

Oh, that's good to hear.

The medication can help enormously but it takes a while to 'get into your system' and alter your chemistry.

You've taken the first step. There is other help out there... Samaritans, Bereavement Counselling etc, and various forums.

I'm sure you'll start to feel more in control now. You have a plan of action!

xx

Droop Lots of good advice on here, especially re getting some professional help. That might be bereavement counselling too? Glad you were able to speak to your Doctor.

Big hugs Droopdrawers, it's so hard being the parent left behind. Doesn't matter how much therapy you have, the fact remains that your future has changed forever, you are alone, and you have to cope with all sorts of things you'd never imagined you'd have to.

I do recommend phoning the Samaritans when you are tearing your hair out, it's good to be listened to at least.

My kids were 20 and 22 when my husband died in the May six years ago. My daughter was going to Canada for the international part of her degree in the September, and because we were both in such a state I'd forgotten to get her any currency At least her Dad knew she was going.

It's not just missing them, it is what they are missing I think hurts the kids the most.

My daughter has recently got onto her career path and knows her Dad would have been so pleased for her, she is so upset she can't tell him. I suggested she write a letter, I have a memory book for him, she can read it again when she is older.

Your daughter doing her Master's could speak to the Uni counsellor. My daughter did art therapy through her Uni and it really helped her, she started floundering in her final year, it was touch and go. I also paid for private bereavement counselling for her.

I am sorry your other daughter had to have a colposcopy, not pleasant. I hope she has good results but if not, treatment is normally very successful, I've not had any concerns since I had the surgery. I hope the consultant helps with her other issue.

You have a lot on your plate and I do empathise, but take each day at a time, and remember to be kind to you.

Glad you have spoken to your GP . If nothing else, it will give you the feeling that you are not on your own in not only dealing with your own grief but what is happening with your AC,
Please encourage all of them to seek whatever support is available . Contact Cruse. You can be referred by your GP.
If you have any friends or relatives, please also tell them what is happening - just talking about those worries will be a great help.

Hello Droop
Well done you; that is excellent.
Give yourself a bit pat on the back, you’re on the way to getting control and perspective

That's good to know Droopdrawers. It will take time for the medication to get into your system so be patient.

I hope you find therapy helpful, I'm sure you will. You have so much to deal with right now, so soon after losing your H. Be kind to yourself.

Just a quick update. Finally got through to my doctor. She was very kind. Has suggested medication and referred me for therapy. Feeling a bit calmer today. Thank you all for your support. Xx

I am so sorry to read your post, you are not being a drama queen, you have such a lot to deal with.

Good advice for you above, and I hope you can get to see your Doctor soon.

Take care, there is always someone here to offer advice and support

That is a lot for one person to deal with.

You really must put your mental health first, you can't set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.

Please go and ask for support, then you will be stronger and in a better position to help get your children the support they need. Find it for yourself and then show them the way.

Droopdrawers

Thank you all. You are all so kind. It made me cry ( in a good way ) reading your messages. I felt like I was going mad with the worry. I will try and ring my GP in the morning. I know worrying never fixes anything but it seems to go with the territory of being a parent. ❤️

Glad to hear you're going to make an appointment with your GP. That's a starting point to offload some of the worry.

I'm sure you feel pretty helpless and hopeless at the moment, consumed with worry about your adult children, and grief after the recent death of your husband. It's understandable that you feel your life is on hold, but this too shall pass.

Don't let this be your last post - let us know how you get on with your appointment, you need somewhere to be able to come and talk.

Sending <<<hugs>>>

You are still grieving so it is natural to think that every situation will have the worse possible outcome.

Talking will help, on here, to a friend or a professional . Thoughts that just go around with no outlet become insurmountable.

Be kind to yourself and try to live in the moment, as you know worrying will not change anything.

Thank you all. You are all so kind. It made me cry ( in a good way ) reading your messages. I felt like I was going mad with the worry. I will try and ring my GP in the morning. I know worrying never fixes anything but it seems to go with the territory of being a parent. ❤️

I do sympathise tremendously. I agree with the others that you need to take care of yourself. I’ve found anti-depressants a great help over the years, just to keep me functioning. It’s so difficult when your children are suffering for whatever reason and very normal to be concerned. You’re doing so well to keep going.

Sending you lots of hugs ? and hope everything will be resolved in the not too distant future.

No, you are certainly not being ridiculous. Understandable is the word I would use. Take care of yourself and hopefully you will find the strength to continue mutual support of each other. ?

The death of your husband is quite recent and you and your children are still grieving.
It is normal for worries to take over at this time and fears of losing other loved ones.
As others have said get medical help for the anxieties and for the physical problems too.
I hope your worries will be resolved soon ?

You are not being a drama queen,sometimes life is just overwhelming but this will pass ,you do need somebody to talk to about your fears either a good friend or your children and your GP.
I had a horrible worrying 4 months last year,first of all I started with stomach pains,then my daughter who had been for a scan due to polycystic ovary syndrome in her teenage years to see if it was possible for her to become pregnant she then received a phone call at work telling her it looked like cancer....a very worrying 2 weeks when I couldn't sleep ,eat or think straight turned out to be nonsense she was fine but my stomachs pains got worse.
My daughter then found out she was pregnant but because of covid had her first scan at 14 weeks...at her scan they told her some measurement was showing the baby could have Downs or other defects so another 2 weeks of worry but this all turned out to be incorrect and she is now 23 weeks pregnant and all fine ,my stomach pains have gone and all is normal again so what I am saying it will all be resolved so try not to worry and talk to your children they like you have been through some terrible times and need help.