Hen parties

There were certainly hen nights in 1978 because I had one, even in deepest darkest Wales, not known for being the trendiest of places in those days. A not too loud night in a local pub (watched closely by our families and neighbours who frequented the same pubs and who wouldn't have put up with any drunken racket ) The wedding never actually happened but we had a good hen night.

Totally- as long as they don't complain about being hard up, don't have money for deposit, etc.

For me, stag dos, hen parties (abroad and that go on for days) and stupidly expensive weddings - totally lost the plot. Again, fair enough if they can afford to, and if they don't constantly complain about how we had it easy, and how it is all so hard for them now!

Another way to spend, may could be as irrational as the newest most expensive I-phone, vacations abroad, or weekly nails. Niece has a choice, €500 hen party or not. I'd choose not, but to each her own way of indulgences.

Agree. It used to be that bachelorette parties were a lot cheaper. I spent my bachelorette party with my husband, cousins, and closest friends at my house. We had a great time, didn't drink alcohol or do anything we'd regret. My daughter is getting married soon, and her best friend advised me on how to prepare a surprise party for her. I know her friends can afford an expensive party, but we decided not to spend a huge amount on it. So we decided that the girls would go glamping (which is cheaper than I thought) or have a beautiful aristocratic wine tasting party at home. We got our ideas here at bachelorettepartyhelp.com, and I'm so glad I found them.

Esspee. My daughter , in the course of doing a job , heard a mum call out " Chlamydia" when she summonsed her child!!! I presume she didn't know. my DD said she didn't look very bright!

Marydoll

*Espee*, of course I am joking!!! I have got this far, being sensible and cautious and don't intend to put myself at risk now.

Do have a lovely time.

Espee, of course I am joking!!! I have got this far, being sensible and cautious and don't intend to put myself at risk now.

Iam64

Marydoll -I was away with friends, we all LFT before meeting. There was a hot tub, none of us used it. One of our group is a GP- advised us to avoid it

Iam, I don't really fancy it anyway. A breeding ground for germs, methinks!

Marydoll -I was away with friends, we all LFT before meeting. There was a hot tub, none of us used it. One of our group is a GP- advised us to avoid it

Marydoll

Thank you Iam. I am a bit nervous about socialising, but intend to go.
The hot tub is also causing me some anxiety. I have been told that with three nurses and two police officers present, they will be able to prise me out if I get stuck!! ? Unfortunately, there will be no members of the fire service attending. Just in case I need a fireman's lift.

A hot tub? Seriously? You are going to immerse yourself in chlamydia soup Marydoll? You can’t be serious!

You are a sensible lady, I think you are joking. ?

jennymolly

Or even chavvy!

Exactly.

Thank you Iam. I am a bit nervous about socialising, but intend to go.
The hot tub is also causing me some anxiety. I have been told that with three nurses and two police officers present, they will be able to prise me out if I get stuck!! ? Unfortunately, there will be no members of the fire service attending. Just in case I need a fireman's lift.

Have a good time Marydoll- a proper outing x

HettyBetty

Self indulgent nonsense most of the time. When did young people become so self absorbed? Is it because they want to put it on Instagram?

The hen that I will be attending next week, comprises mainly family and a few friends. We have been unable to get to know each other due to the fact I have been shielding, am immunocompromised and the mother of the bride and her sister are nurses, who have been working in Covid ICU, with no wish to put me at risk.
The bride has had nothing to do with the organisation of things, it is to be a surprise.

Self indulgent nonsense most of the time. When did young people become so self absorbed? Is it because they want to put it on Instagram?

Most of my friends had a similar approach to mine. Low key, registry office weddings, no official photographer, garden flowers etc. A spread of food at the house afterwards, then off to north Wales for the weekend/week.
Sounds very boring in comparison to today’s extravaganzas. No hen or stag nights, though we did meet friends for a drink the night before.

I wonder how much changes as each generation does something as different as possible than their parents. The current generation do seem to like a party and have more disposable income than mine did. Or credit cards

Sorry that was a typo. The upfront cost is about €400 and then when you add in all the other costs my niece thinks it will amount to about €600 per person which includes covering some of the bride's costs.

Anyhow she has had a text on the hens WhatsApp saying that as several hens are not free for the full weekend they are now all going for only one night. The expensive hotel dinner has been moved to a cheaper pizza place and they will bring a few bottles of prosecco to have in one of their rooms first, and will go to the pub after dinner. Also their deal now includes one spa treatment not two. So no party bus or nightclub or second day and night to finance etc.
Niece thinks that will bring the cost down considerably and reckons they must have got a few complaints.
She'd still rather not go but will suck it up.

Anything just so the bridezilla gets treated like a princess and doesn't have to pay for it!!
Why do they have to pay for her, and BESWITCHED, how come it went up from €400 to €500 before you'd finished typing? Was that a premonition on your part? ?

Talk about pearls before swine! It's about the marriage, not the wedding.

Kali2

Totally ridiculous- same with baby showers, etc!

Yes I agree, it's not affordable to some people to go to a hen night, and people have so much pressure to go.

My daughters had small hen dos. The eldest had dinner after which we more mature ladies went home and 'the girls' went on to a club. My younger daughter did go away but with a small group of her closest friends who often had weekends away, usually at a Butlins or Air BnB and very low budget. Then she had an dinner for everyone else. Her friends later organised an afternoon tea for her baby shower. They all seem to do much the same and have a great time.

I must be out of step. I got married in 1985, and I had a hen weekend (in Scarborough), so did quite a few of my friends in different ways - some had an evening do, some a day trip, some one night away, some two. I looked it up because I didn’t know it was so rare - it seems it wasn’t!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22659227

poshpaws

I'd never heard of Hen parties when I first married, and that wasn't exactly in the Dark Ages - 1972 - and I certainly wouldn't have wanted one, then or now.

What a weird tradition! Surely you'll see your friends as much after marriage as before? Why on earth would you need/want to spend large sums of money on a night out that could be put towards a honeymoon or something for your home?

Mind you, up where I live there's an age old tradition of a "Blackening" which seems just as preposterous to me: in pre-car times it was by horse and cart, now it's using an open backed van. The bride to be (and separately, the groom sometimes) is covered in black oil or treacle or something equally sticky and horrible - on a historical occasion it was bloody (literally) tripe; and rice and sundry other things thrown over her as they drive around the town making as much noise as possible.

Madness.

I must be a stuffy old stick-in-the-mud.

Totally agree with this; ^ I married in 1971 and all this stuff was unheard of

I'd never heard of Hen parties when I first married, and that wasn't exactly in the Dark Ages - 1972 - and I certainly wouldn't have wanted one, then or now.

What a weird tradition! Surely you'll see your friends as much after marriage as before? Why on earth would you need/want to spend large sums of money on a night out that could be put towards a honeymoon or something for your home?

Mind you, up where I live there's an age old tradition of a "Blackening" which seems just as preposterous to me: in pre-car times it was by horse and cart, now it's using an open backed van. The bride to be (and separately, the groom sometimes) is covered in black oil or treacle or something equally sticky and horrible - on a historical occasion it was bloody (literally) tripe; and rice and sundry other things thrown over her as they drive around the town making as much noise as possible.

Madness.

I must be a stuffy old stick-in-the-mud.

As a yorkshire woman I was married twice (my first husband was killed in a car crash) and think it is ludicrous that things have escalated to this stupid extent where this huge amount of money is spent for no good reason. My first wedding dress was a lovely simple dress in white , bought in a sale. I was very happy with it and our money was going to be put towards getting a home , not wasted on what you hope would be the only time you would wear it! When I was getting married the second time, I was having a lot of trouble with my back having had a slipped disc, and was waking at ungodly times of day. So decided that as I was awake I might as well go into Manchester and be there for the sales I was going for a laptop as was doing a university course and handwriting long essays caused me problems . Never done it before but duly got there about 5.30am, and didnt know how these things worked. Then about 8.30 someone came down the line and you were allowed one special sale thing. I had originally wanted to get the laptop but they had all gone and so I had about half a minute to choose so remembered that there were two pure wool very good make suits, so asked for one of those, and they give you the ticket for that item . Thought I had wasted my time, you had half an hour when the store was open to get the bargain and after than anyone could have . So went to this very posh womens area wearing trousers and boots in the cold weather not expecting to be trying on clothes. The turquoise suit fitted me and I loved it. took it home and just put it away. Then when we were discussing getting married at the methodist church, I though yes my bargain suit. Hadnt worn it yet at all. So had the turquoise suit with navy shoes, navy tights and a vintage fascinater , navy blue with a small feather on the side very 1920's .Had a happy day and wore that suit to many other occasions . the joy was in joining together not things and I do think that this is another habit we could have done without arriving from the usa! I also do not like the expectations of lists of presents . I was happy to say this is the china we have and anyone could choose something from that pattern, whether it was a mustard pot or dinner plates etc. The very sad thing is where you hear that young couple have got themselves into debt to pay for these extravagances and they do not add to the actual wedding day. I had a friend whose son married a girl who wanted all this big day stuff. My friend could only talk to me about how worried she was because she was between a rock and a hard place. If she said that she thought it was getting out of hand, she sounds begrudging and controlling. If she tries to explain that various friends or relative cannot afford it she sounds complaining. Cant win can you. My favourite simple wedding I went to was a lutherin one in the north of germany. The lovely idea that to me symbolized the occasion, was that the families lined the pathway to the church , with his on one side , hers on the other. The couple arrived together in a car with flowers in it. Then they started up the path and as they walked on from each side, his father walked with her mother, her father with his mother etc etc and you paired up and walked in behind the couple and then you all sat in a single group. This was a lovely way to show families joining together and also if you have a situation where one side have lots of people and the other side very few again you dont end up with his side her side in the church. Well I have very happy memories about both occasions and it didnt include spending a fortune!