Sleeping around

Elizabeth27

Coastpath

if they have to try out a hundred before finding their life partner, then they can't be very good at the preliminary filtering process.

A bit like those people on Location Location Location who've viewed a hundred houses and still not found 'their forever home'.

Not everyone is looking for a life partner, they just enjoy sex. As long as it is safe and consensual I do not see a problem.

I was quoting another poster (I tried to make the text bold but it didn't work) and trying to make a little joke Elizabeth27.

I'd already said further up the thread fair play to everyone doing as they please, it's up to the individual - you only get one life. I'm not here to judge anyone.

My experience of growing up in the 70s and seems very different to other people’s here. We were very promiscuous and I’ve slept with upwards of 50 men. I’m 64 now and have not had sex for 10 years until recently when I met a lovely man with whom I’m having a relationship now. I don’t regret my past in the least. My daughter is 22 and isn’t alone amongst her peers in having slept with a number of men.

I am always amazed on Mumsnet by how many young women are willing to put up with all manner of degradations just to be a part of a couple. Some of them ask "is x,y,z, OK? - and I am just horrified that they have so little self-respect as to even begin to think that some of these things are OK - especially when they are making it clear that they do not want them.

Also very evident is the destructive effect of porn on their relationships.

So sad - these poor young women.

How many shoes do you try on before finding a perfect fitting pair?

A lifetime partner whom you love, respect and actually like takes a fair bit of shopping nowadays.

Bluebelle small town ,I cant remember many girls who got pregnant before they were married ,in fact my sister was married just over 10 months when her son was born and she said all the old dears will be counting on their fingers to make sure he's really legitimate .Of the two I know who were pregnant one was rushed down the aisle before she showed and the other waited until her daughter was born simply because she was only 15 .They were married for 40 years .She was however the talk of the steamie as we say here ,
My mother always said BAD girls dont get pregnant only foolish ones .the bad girls know how not to get caught .I am very glad times have changed

Well I suppose I do exaggerate a bit, other people seem to deliberately misunderstand a bit too.
I was shocked by the number of solutions offered were going straight to "end it", and I wondered why.

Elegran, I had never heard that saying. Sadly, I know families where the parents seem to live and act like perpetual teenagers, then they wonder why their childrens lives are unstable. Ive seen exactly what you are talking about. I am old- fashioned, people's sex lives are private. Ive no wish to read about it on a public forum unless the person is seeking advice about a problem.

Yes I think MN did some research but I cant remember the exact statistics but it was a considerable number of women per year who had been helped out of abusive situations.

ExDancer you exaggerate.
The Mumsnet posters who are told, in seriousness, to dump their partners may have started by posting about housework or lack of attention or suchlike but as the thread goes on it becomes clear that the man is no good at all, as a partner.
It is not easy to just dump a partner if, as there often is, children are involved and/or property.
There's a lot of good advice on Mumsnet for people who are struggling.
(I have seen men post there and get good advice too.)

I didn't - sometimes I wish I had - but only fleetingly!

This is nothing new, consensual sex between adults.

I am glad we live in a world where women are allowed to talk about their sexual needs, same as men.

Sadly, there is still a double standard but getting better.

Every age has it's fair share of promiscuity whether practised by male or female. Sex addiction and nymphomania is always a constant in adult life.

I'm not in a position to judge anyone but I do know I was always afraid of getting pregnant or getting STI's, being the subject of gossip etc as were all the people I knew in the 60's. I've been single as a divorced woman since but have been very choosy! Sex without love isn't pleasant.

Anyone who slept around in the 60's where I lived lost respect and the word went round like wildfire so men knew who to head to. Those men also lost respect as being no better, so they gained a reputation too.

In the present day everything and anything is seen as acceptable and has become worrying normalised. 'Anything goes' has been taken to the extreme and not a good thing when worrying/seedy behaviour is not identified amongst the morass which is 'sexual liberation'....and now men and women thinking sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime is something to aspire to.

What I personally find objectionable is the bragging...and the now long standing practice of having sex in the toilets [nightclubs/pubs etc]. That, to me, is the pits.

Pepper59 The old saying "Why buy the book when you can have a library ticket and read them all?" is illustrative of the age-old attitude to sex. That is fine when both men and women are young and fancy-free without dependent children, but a child whose parent vanishes from the scene, to be replaced by someone else to be called "Mummy" or "Daddy" is likely to be insecure for a long time, and repeat his/her parents' way of life for his/her own family.

On other threads, there is a lot of blame on Prince Charles for Harry's emotional difficulties - but parents in less public roles across the country are damaging the mental health of their children just as much when they continue to live like teenagers who have just discovered the joys of sex.

Galaxy

I am afraid I see it differently I women who just arent prepared to tolerate what was tolerated in the past. A man who doesnt do his share.of the housework is showing no respect, why would women be expected to tolerate that. I think the view of men as helpless children who need a list to help them do the chores is worse.

It will come as no surprise that I agree with you.

All my 4 sons understand about consent, and the correct (and fair) way to treat women, so I'm happy with that, & that i brought them up the right way..same also for my 3 daughters.?

Exactly, Exdancer Sex is an important part of a relationship, but it is is only a part, not the whole. There is also companionship, a shared view of the rights and responsibilities of the individual and attitudes to each other and children, and a balance of power, plus expectations for the relationship, which come with the different past experiences of family life that each partner has in their memory.

Apparently not Trisher?‍♀️

It's up to the individual what they do. It does make me wonder though if this why marriages don't last and no one seems to value commitment or marriage any more. Mumsnet has it's fair share of posters who say men will not commit to them. If you can get sex anywhere and everywhere, why commit to one person. Do others think this correct? For myself, I feel nothing is private anymore and I certainly won't be posting personal things on a public forum, for a certain newspaper to then splatter it all over the country. I don't post on Mumsnet for that reason.

I am afraid I see it differently I women who just arent prepared to tolerate what was tolerated in the past. A man who doesnt do his share.of the housework is showing no respect, why would women be expected to tolerate that. I think the view of men as helpless children who need a list to help them do the chores is worse.

I got fed up with Mumsnet because of the amount of 'man-bashing' which seemed to be prevalent.
DH won't do his fair share of housework? Dump him.
DH goes out on a friday for drinks with the boys? Dump him.
DH didn't notice the new hair-do? Dump him.
DH doesn't satisfy sexually? Dump him.
It seemed so caustic and vindictive.

So reading this made me sad that so many young women had never found a real 'husband' - just a partner to pay the bills and have children with, someone who can be discarded for the smallest things. Is it because they don't value sex, having had so much in their youth?

I feel ancient having had only two partners and being married to both.

I really don't see the problem as long as it's all between consenting individuals. It's only sex.

MN are not a young generation, the current generation are apparently not having as much sex, in the same way as they dont drink as much.

I’m with Visgirl on this. A whole salt mine of salt, in fact!

paddyAnn that’s just not true The pill made it safer for women but if there had been no out of wedlock sex then there would have been no need for back street abortions and we all know they were happening a LOT