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AIBU

To be very shocked at attitude towards finding money

(149 Posts)
Beswitched Fri 25-Feb-22 09:37:19

Is posting about a thread on Mumsnet against guidelines?

I'm just really shocked. Someone has posted that they bought a handmade quilt in a charity shop and discovered a pretty large amount of money inside (they didn't want to specify how many thousands) . They are asking if it would be unreasonable to just keep it and put it towards an expensive holiday.

A very sizeable percentage of posters are telling her to just keep it, it's karma, the staff would just pocket it if she returned it etc etc

AIBU to be shocked at such a high level of dishonesty and greed?

Freya5 Fri 25-Feb-22 10:44:13

Beswitched

I have to disagree Baggs. I think the moral thing to do is contact the charity shop or the police and make some attempt to find the rightful owner. If they can't then the money belongs to the poster.

Absolutely . I remember as a child, I found a purse in a phone box, with £10 in it and a bit of change. Took it to the local post master who handed it to the village Bobby when he did his rounds. 3 months later I got it back with 10 pounds plus change,mine to keep as no owner found. Long tale, but honesty is always the best policy. I believe in Karma.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 25-Feb-22 10:51:35

Similar thing happened to me as a child Freya. Out with my Mum, found a fountain pen, we took it to the police station and when it was unclaimed it was returned to me. I gave it to my Dad.
BigLouis, you’re another one who has gone down in my estimation.
It’s quite correct that there is an offence of theft by finding and in this instance without further enquiry the finder couldn’t possibly have a genuine belief that the true owner couldn’t be found.
Honesty has always been very important to me and I never cease to be disappointed when I don’t find it in others.

Sarahmob Fri 25-Feb-22 10:53:27

I don’t think you were under any obligation to donate any of your profit from the dolls Coastpath as it was your own effort that increased the value of the items. But it was a very generous gesture and I’m sure the charity shop appreciated your donation.

Baggs Fri 25-Feb-22 10:54:01

I would have kept quiet about the money in the quilt and told no one. Certainly not a bunch of randoms on the internet.

This is why I think the story is not true, just someone throwing out a philosophical question – "if this, then what?"

It's the scale of the found hoard and the carelessness of (a) the sewing in, all in one corner, as if ! (b) the charity shop not noticing, that makes me dubious about the whole thing.
It's just off the scale in oddness.

Zoejory Fri 25-Feb-22 10:58:07

Baggs

^I would have kept quiet about the money in the quilt and told no one. Certainly not a bunch of randoms on the internet.^

This is why I think the story is not true, just someone throwing out a philosophical question – "if this, then what?"

It's the scale of the found hoard and the carelessness of (a) the sewing in, all in one corner, as if ! (b) the charity shop not noticing, that makes me dubious about the whole thing.
It's just off the scale in oddness.

I agree, Baggs

I didn't believe it at all.

If it was true I doubt very much the finder would be posting about it on MN

Baggs Fri 25-Feb-22 10:58:38

Beswitched

I have to disagree Baggs. I think the moral thing to do is contact the charity shop or the police and make some attempt to find the rightful owner. If they can't then the money belongs to the poster.

We are not in disagreement about what we personally would do, beswitched. I would certainly take the quilt and the story to the police if I found thousands of pounds in something I bought at any shop, not just a charity one.

The more I think abou this tale from MN the less I believe it to be genuine.

Baggs Fri 25-Feb-22 10:59:29

zöejory, ?

Callistemon21 Fri 25-Feb-22 11:02:37

My DD found some money on the pavement once, not a huge amount (about £50) but a lot of money for a young teenager. She handed it in to the police station and after 3 months no-one had claimed it; the police then phoned her and said she could collect it.

Baggs Fri 25-Feb-22 11:05:26

On a philosophical level though, it is quite an exercise. At what point (value) of finding lost cash does it become wrong to just pocket it?

If one saw a pound coin on the ground in the street and nobody looking as if they'd just dropped it, keeping it would really not be an issue worth moralising about.

Callistemon21 Fri 25-Feb-22 11:07:28

I've picked up a pound coin from the car park a couple of times and dropped it into the nearest charity box/shop.

Beswitched Fri 25-Feb-22 11:19:55

biglouis

I would have kept quiet about the money in the quilt and told no one. Certainly not a bunch of randoms on the internet.

I once bought an item on Ebay for 15 euro because I had the expert knowledge to know what it was. I subsequently sold it at auction for £1400. I dont feel any guilt at this.

People higher up the antiques food chain buy my items and sell them at 3-4 X the price in their high end antiques shops in London or New York. Im sure they dont feel any guilt either.

Its just business.

Knowledge is power.

Finding money that was accidentally given to a Charity shop and making no effort to find the rightful owner is not 'just business', it's deliberate dishonesty.

Beswitched Fri 25-Feb-22 11:25:28

I was sending mum's old clothes to a Charity shop recently. I noticed one of her skirts felt a bit heavy and when I checked the pockets she had stuffed all of her most expensive jewellery, given to her over the years by my father in there for safe keeping from burglars.
That jewellery was willed to my sister and me, who will treasure it and will it on to my parents' grandchildren, not to some dishonest chancer who might have found it accidentally handed in to a charity shop.

Ailidh Fri 25-Feb-22 11:37:27

I think there's a difference between buying something in a charity shop/wherever when you Know it's worth more and selling it on, and finding something clearly hidden and thus accidentally donated. I would have to go back to the shop in the latter case. If I had reason to mistrust the staff's integrity, I'd contact head office.

Haggling down a charity shop is pretty low.

Curlywhirly Fri 25-Feb-22 11:40:41

Nothing I read on MN now surprises me! At first I couldn't believe how rude and aggressive some of the posters are; telling each other to 'just F**k off' is pretty normal. I despair at how morals seem to have taken a dip. Luckily my sons seem to have the same standards as me - one of my sons found an envelope with several thousands of pounds in it in his hotel room safe. He took it to reception (obviously the previous occupant had forgotten it). Hotel management gave him a bottle if champagne for his trouble and honesty. Never one to miss an opportunity, the cheeky beggar asked for 6 glasses (he was with friends) and could they drink it in the very posh roof top bar!

jaylucy Fri 25-Feb-22 11:46:36

How about the deceased person had no relatives and so the house had been cleared by a house clearance company? The deceased may also have been one of many elderly that don't trust banks - or like to have cash in the house "for emergencies"
I think I would feel guilty keeping it , don't think that karma comes in to it and it's a statement or saying that people are commonly now using to explain away unacceptable behaviour often towards complete strangers!
The charity that the quilt was bought from should at least be offered the cash- I don't think I could cope with my guilt if I spent it on myself!

Beswitched Fri 25-Feb-22 11:47:02

Huge difference between donating furniture or paintings to Charity without bothering to get them valued, and donating an object with no idea that a family member had hidden jewellery or money inside them. The first is a knowing action, the second isn't.

Grandma70s Fri 25-Feb-22 11:50:58

On a smaller scale - when my children were primary school age in the 1970s they found a bundle of notes on the ground at a local station. They handed it in, and were awarded £10 out of public funds for their honesty!

Yammy Fri 25-Feb-22 11:56:45

Callistemon21

My DD found some money on the pavement once, not a huge amount (about £50) but a lot of money for a young teenager. She handed it in to the police station and after 3 months no-one had claimed it; the police then phoned her and said she could collect it.

This happened to me when young I found £5 and gave it to Bobby. Months later I was called to the front door by my mother and I was given it back as it had never been claimed.
I'm not surprised by the attitude of some though to keep the money. Once with DD, I used a cash machine and it emptied itself into my hands. I promptly went in and said what had happened they were incredulous that I had actually taken it in. Also when DD related the incident to colleagues quite a few said they would have kept it.

Baggs Fri 25-Feb-22 13:01:10

Beswitched

Huge difference between donating furniture or paintings to Charity without bothering to get them valued, and donating an object with no idea that a family member had hidden jewellery or money inside them. The first is a knowing action, the second isn't.

Yes. I told MrB about this story and his take was that the money had not been donated to the charity so it should go to the police.

It having been sewn so carelessly (if at all) into a quilt suggests to me that it was stolen money. Another reason to go to the police.

But I'm not ready yet to suspend disbelief in the whole thing except perhaps as a piece of research by some philosophy student! ?

Baggs Fri 25-Feb-22 13:01:53

Research into virtue signalling as much as anything else.

Baggs Fri 25-Feb-22 13:02:12

And judgmentalism.

Daisend1 Fri 25-Feb-22 13:11:35

Go to the top. If the charity shop has a head office contact and advise them of your find before taking any action.

Audi10 Fri 25-Feb-22 13:20:23

I would be contacting the shop giving them a pic of the quilt and telling them that I had found something sewed into it , get them to try and find the owner and only hand over when rightful owner could tell me what it was that was in there,

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 25-Feb-22 13:25:15

The rightful owner is probably a beneficiary of a deceased person’s estate who has no knowledge whatsoever of the money. The right thing to do is to arrange via the charity’s head office for the cash to be returned to the charity. It’s then up to them if they keep it. I wouldn’t just give it back to the shop, where it could disappear into pockets.

lemsip Fri 25-Feb-22 13:28:28

I don't believe it hapened!