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AIBU

To be very shocked at attitude towards finding money

(149 Posts)
Beswitched Fri 25-Feb-22 09:37:19

Is posting about a thread on Mumsnet against guidelines?

I'm just really shocked. Someone has posted that they bought a handmade quilt in a charity shop and discovered a pretty large amount of money inside (they didn't want to specify how many thousands) . They are asking if it would be unreasonable to just keep it and put it towards an expensive holiday.

A very sizeable percentage of posters are telling her to just keep it, it's karma, the staff would just pocket it if she returned it etc etc

AIBU to be shocked at such a high level of dishonesty and greed?

grandtanteJE65 Mon 28-Feb-22 14:42:12

I too was brought up to believe that if you found money or other valuables you should hand it in to the police who would try to trace the owner.

This may have worked when we were children, if the person who had lost the money reported the loss to the police. But I doubt it works today.

Buying something in a charity shop and discovering that money has been stashed in the item poses a couple of problems.

It is a reasonable assumption that the person who made that quilt is now dead and in no further need of the money. (She could, of course, be in a care home, and need the money.)

The charity shop is unlikely to know where that quilt came from - someone came in with boxes and bags of stuff and handed them over.

Morally the charity is no more entitled to the money than the person who found it is. The person who cleared a house after someone died may well not be a relation but acting on behalf of a housing society or the executor of the will.

Taking all this into consideration, it is going to be very hard to find anyone with a legal or moral claim to the money.

This doesn't make keeping the money on the old (wrong) principle of "Finders -keepers" right, but it tells me that we need a moral philosopher to solve the dilemma.

Being a historian of comparative religion it is not my field of expertise, so any moral philosophers on gransnet, or failing that legal experts?

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 28-Feb-22 14:45:23

The offence of theft by finding has been discussed upthread.

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 15:25:59

If the money is hidden inside something which is legally yours, does that make a difference?

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 28-Feb-22 15:33:10

No.

Mollygo Mon 28-Feb-22 15:34:24

Good question MissAdventure, but now define legally yours. Something you’ve paid for? Something you’ve purchased in good faith?

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 15:36:57

Both.
Something you have paid for, lock, stock and barrel, in good faith.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 28-Feb-22 15:39:23

But you find something inside it which wasn’t intended to be included in the sale by either party. Ownership of the found item was not intended to be transferred to you.

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 15:41:20

Let's say the money had been hidden in my mums quilt, which I then donated to charity...

I wouldn't dream of wanting the money back, as much as I could do with it.

I would just think that the buyer struck lucky, the charity had lost nothing, and neither had I, really, because the money was hidden from me so was never mine to lay claim to.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 28-Feb-22 15:43:11

Our moral compasses are not aligned.

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 15:46:17

I was speaking from a detached point of view.
That situation is never going to happen to me, I'd imagine.
Nothing whatsoever to do with my or your morals.

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 15:50:24

It could be considered immoral to pop up and claim money which someone had hidden away from you.

Beswitched Mon 28-Feb-22 20:19:27

MissAdventure

Let's say the money had been hidden in my mums quilt, which I then donated to charity...

I wouldn't dream of wanting the money back, as much as I could do with it.

I would just think that the buyer struck lucky, the charity had lost nothing, and neither had I, really, because the money was hidden from me so was never mine to lay claim to.

But do you really think your mother would have wanted that money to go to some random stranger rather than her children or grandchildren?

Beswitched Mon 28-Feb-22 20:21:19

grandtanteJE65

I too was brought up to believe that if you found money or other valuables you should hand it in to the police who would try to trace the owner.

This may have worked when we were children, if the person who had lost the money reported the loss to the police. But I doubt it works today.

Buying something in a charity shop and discovering that money has been stashed in the item poses a couple of problems.

It is a reasonable assumption that the person who made that quilt is now dead and in no further need of the money. (She could, of course, be in a care home, and need the money.)

The charity shop is unlikely to know where that quilt came from - someone came in with boxes and bags of stuff and handed them over.

Morally the charity is no more entitled to the money than the person who found it is. The person who cleared a house after someone died may well not be a relation but acting on behalf of a housing society or the executor of the will.

Taking all this into consideration, it is going to be very hard to find anyone with a legal or moral claim to the money.

This doesn't make keeping the money on the old (wrong) principle of "Finders -keepers" right, but it tells me that we need a moral philosopher to solve the dilemma.

Being a historian of comparative religion it is not my field of expertise, so any moral philosophers on gransnet, or failing that legal experts?

It has been explained many times how it might be possible to track down the donator. Are you saying this shouldn't even be tried before pocketing the money?

Beswitched Mon 28-Feb-22 20:29:18

MissAdventure

It could be considered immoral to pop up and claim money which someone had hidden away from you.

My mother left her jewellery to my sister and me. She hid it safely from burglars but, because she died without huge warning, never told us where it was. It was pure chance that I found it before giving her clothes to charity. She had desperately, when she realised she might not make it, tried to give us cash so we could avoid death tax (which we, misunderstanding, had refused saying no, no that's your money). There was certainly no question of her hiding the jewellery from us.
Your post is actually quite upsetting.

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 20:38:27

Well, obviously I wasn't referring to your individual circumstances.
How could I be, since I didn't know them?

Unfortunately we can't chat on here sometimes in case it upsets someone.

Beswitched Mon 28-Feb-22 20:44:33

You seemed to be implying that the fact that the money was sewn into the quilt meant the person was trying to hide the money from her next of kin. Apologies if I took you up wrongly.

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 21:24:30

Well, I have known a case of that happening, actually, when one of my neighbours started a decline mentally.
She spent all night up, moving her money from place to place, because she didn't want her daughter to have it.
She posted it all through my letterbox one night.

Then a few months later it was a pile of wet teabags. smile

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 21:26:03

Anyway, regardless of that, I can only apologise if I offended you.
It was never and would never be my intention. flowers

Beswitched Mon 28-Feb-22 21:27:29

thanks

MissAdventure Mon 28-Feb-22 21:28:27

smile

Witzend Tue 01-Mar-22 09:00:45

I mentioned this case recently to an elderly neighbour, very switched on, a former professional with a highly respected org., who has now worked on a voluntary basis for some years at the local large police station.

There they do still take in ‘found’ items, but keep them only for a month, after which they are disposed of via charity shop/offered to the finder.

But she did say unhesitatingly that if you have bought and paid for something in good faith, and it turns out (for whatever reason) to be worth a lot more, you are fully entitled to keep it.
So that’s the legal side,
The moral side, in this case, may be different.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 01-Mar-22 09:15:42

With the greatest of respect to the lady who works at the police station, something turning out to be worth a lot more than you paid for it and something containing, unknown to all, a stash of money are two totally different scenarios. I’m sure you all know my former profession only too well without my ramming it down your long suffering throats again!

DiscoDancer1975 Tue 01-Mar-22 09:19:25

If I knew without a doubt, it had belonged to one of those new billionaires, the ones that have got rich through the pharmaceutical companies for the vaccines, or any billionaire to be honest....I would pray about it. I wouldn’t rush to give it back. I know people who could do with that money.

Otherwise...I would try everything to reunite it with its owner.