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AIBU

AIBU

(13 Posts)
Lollipoplove Mon 28-Feb-22 20:15:36

I have wanted to go to a certain place for brunch since last year. The group were really impressed & so looking forward to going They knew nothing about it until I had told them. It was all going ahead then due to something of other it got cancelled & we went somewhere a lot closer to home.
Since then one of the people whose birthday it is fell out with me. I have forgiven them they know I have no problem with them , although I really really should have!!!
Well it was her Birthday & I found out today that they all went to this certain place. All got fancy dressed up & I saw all the photos on Facebook.
AIBU. What would you do or say?? X

M0nica Mon 28-Feb-22 21:15:44

The first thing to do is find some more friends. Real friends do not act like this.

After that I would say nothing. I would block all their numbers, unfriend them on Facebook and any other social media. Ghost them. There is no going back to friendship after behaviour like this.

jenpax Mon 28-Feb-22 21:22:00

Book yourself in to the brunch place, and go and enjoy it, reclaim it as your own experiance and ditch the awful “friends”

Madgran77 Mon 28-Feb-22 21:32:22

So they all agreed to "sneak off" , exclude you from the usual group activities and say nothing!!?? Are those REALLY friends?

Hetty58 Mon 28-Feb-22 21:54:07

Lollipoplove, I'd be inclined to ignore all of them, 'do or say' nothing - and find new people to form a group with. Perhaps the birthday girl still has a problem with you and invited the others?

BlueBelle Mon 28-Feb-22 22:17:56

Well they re no friends are they as Monica says find some new ones I d definitely leave that group without another word

Santana Tue 01-Mar-22 08:13:43

The advice is what I would give my teenage GD. Find some new friends and ditch the others as not worth your friendship.
Are they grown ups? Doesn't sound like it to me.

PamelaJ1 Tue 01-Mar-22 09:42:26

Perhaps she is jealous of you?
I had a ‘friend’ who wrote me a very strange letter a few years ago. She showed my reply to the ‘friends’ who collectively replied in a horrible way.
They had one side of the story, had probably had too much to drink when they thought it was a good idea to act like they did.
Luckily they don’t live near me. I showed the card that they sent me to everyone I could and got it out of my system.
Then crossed them off. Who needs friends like that? Not me.
Hope you feel less hurt soon?

eazybee Tue 01-Mar-22 12:52:53

Say nothing, simply block them out of your life. Totally.
Very unkind.

Grandmabatty Tue 01-Mar-22 13:22:02

I wouldn't do anything that showed I was upset. I would just gradually withdraw from the group of 'friends' and put them in the 'acquaintance' group. I wouldn't offer any support or help to them. I would make plans vague and be very noncommittal. They then have nothing to gossip about. These are not good friends.

Daisymae Tue 01-Mar-22 15:05:45

I think that I would say something to the effect that you were hurt that you were not invited to your 'find'. Having had your say I would then look for other people to socialize with, these people do not seem to be very friendly to me.

Devorgilla Wed 02-Mar-22 16:30:26

I think you should comment on the post so that they know you have seen it and can't accuse you of being surly about it. I'd say something like 'How lovely to see you all in your finery for X's birthday. So glad you enjoyed the venue I recommended.' Before you throw the baby out with the bathwater re the friends I would see what happens when you next see them and the excuses they come up with. Some may genuinely not have known you were not invited. However, I think you have to accept that 'Birthday Girl' still holds a grudge and maintain a frosty atmosphere when dealing with her. Good advice from most posters about widening your circle of friends.

Lollipoplove Wed 02-Mar-22 17:47:14

Thank you all for such good advice. I was thinking the same but getting clarity ale at s helps xx