They thought my DH was drunk

So very sorry to hear this, Bankhurst, your poor DH. I agree with the majority that you should speak to them face to face and explain the situation. I’m sure they will be very embarrassed by their actions and, hopefully, helpful in future, should the need arise.

I would let them know. It is so unfair to your husband who is suffering. I so clearly remember a strapping churchwarden when I was only 12 year old. He would carry disabled children into Sunday school and help adults. |He was suddenly struck down with illness. He fell over and yes, people thought he was drunk. He was diagnosed with MS very shortly. I remember seeing him fall in the shopping centre and people would walk around him. On one occasion I called for an adult to help and explained he was ill. I will never forget that man.

This sooo applies to me, not that i have had anyone singing 'Show me the way to go home' but the fact that balance issues can be conceived as being drunk.

I have MS and before the need to use a stick, i was very much aware that my staggering and swaying about left people looking and coming to the WRONG conclusion that i was drunk ( even at 9am ?!?!? )

Regarding feeling the need to explain to the neighbours, i would in a nice way.

It certainly is NOT their fault, no way would i speak to them in an offhand manner, i would simply explain the situation.

Obviously if they know the situation and still continue to insinuate he is drunk, then THAT is a different matter, but as it is of now, they are unaware of his health issues, so i would go round and see them yes, in a friendly manner.

I am sorry your husband is suffering in this way i hope soon it is treated.

All the very best to your husband.

Your new neighbours have behaved very badly! Flashing lights at someone drunk or not is inexcusable and dangerous. In your position I would pop round and speak to your neighbours to explain the situation, ask them to call you if they see your DH struggling again. If your neighbours understand the situation they will hopefully respond in a responsible manner.

The new neighbours sound awful, even if your DH had been drunk why behave like that! If you happen to run into them you could mention it but I wouldn’t go out of my way to approach them to offer an explanation. The important thing is you & your DH know the truth & that’s what counts, let them think what they like. Hope your DH gets a diagnosis and the appropriate treatment soon.

But that’s you and me nadateturbe and not everyone is a understanding and caring as us ?some people need it spelling out in black and white and then maybe they d become as lovely as we are ?

The only way you ll know if they are nice or just a bit slow on the uptake or nasty is to speak to them then you ll know whether to nod, be best friends, or ignore and metaphorically put on the naughty step in my opinion

I get your point about educating people Bluebelle so a note through the door would explain. Although her husband doesn't appear to want that. I wouldn't want to get to know them. If I saw a neighbour stagger because he was drunk I wouldn't laugh. I would make sure he got home safely.

Forget about the new neighbours and their moronic behaviour, they aren't worth your breath.

Best wishes to your husband for a diagnosis and treatment.

What concerns me from this thread is how fast "you are drunk" is accepted, instead of "are you feeling ok"

I think this highlight a much bigger issue in British society

Horrible situation. I would not leave it to chance. In fact I would just notify the neighborhood in a non judgmental way—like go to all the neighbors that I know and let them know to be on the lookout in case OH collapses. A very well respected journalist went out for a run, here, without ID and fell, lost consciousness, and was picked up for drunk instead of treated for concussion. He died of it. So you might consider getting some kind of ID bracelet or other ID/contact info onto your husband.

But nanotube if you don’t speak to then how will people ever be educated about things, they will go on and consider him a silly old drunk to be laughed at. Once told you will see how they behave and be able to make better judgements of their characters.
Sometimes ignorant people aren’t t nasty people, just ignorant surely however much it shouldn’t need doing sometimes it has to be done.

I remember reading about a lady who’s child had a lot of physical problems but when the kids came up and went ‘uhhhh yuk what’s up with her face’ she wanted to strangle them, but instead she sat them down and told them what, how and why and enlisted their help and before long they were almost falling out as to who could push the wheelchair or look after her etc etc
There’s an old Chinese proverb ( I know you don’t want anything from China but it s true) the cold wind had a bet with the sun that it was stronger he said I m so strong I can blow the coat off that man, so he blew and blew and the more he blew the tighter the man wrapped the coat around him. So then the sun had his turn and he gently began to shine and warm up and then get hotter until the man whipped his coat off …the powers of persuasion are stronger than the powers of war
Now I m going for a lie down ?

I know a type 1 diabetes sufferer who was staggering about in the street, he was young at the time and obviously everyone thought he was drunk, very luckily for him one person had a diabetes sufferer in her family and stopped and called an ambulance.
At some point you are bound to speak to the new neighbours so I would mention it at that time, as your DH has said he wants it left

I wouldn't want to ask for their help. They don't sound very nice. I might put a very brief note through the letterbox saying my husband was staggering because he has a medical condition but only if my husband agreed. Otherwise I would ignore them.

My son suffers from severe Vasovagal syncope and the number of times he's been accused of being drunk, taking drugs etc.....

There has been times that people have literally stepped over him in the street!
You have my sympathy.

I would definitely let them know. Aim not to sound judgemental yourself, even though you will feel it (grr!)
In principle I would rather knock on the door and tell them, but if you don't feel up to that, write a note.
Keep it simple:
Welcome to X Street (if appropriate). We need to let you know that (DH) has a medical condition that sometimes causes him to stagger, and occasionally collapse. Please help, or let someone know if you see him like this - other neighbours are aware
[NB: if they aren't, then tell them as well!]

Thank you.....Bankhurst & DH

This gives them room to apologise.
The reason I wouldn't ignore them (though tempting) is that we all need to get on with our neighbours - you might need their assistance at some point, so best not to take umbrage, even when well deserved.

Great shame that you have to deal with this - and I wouldn't go into any medical details - if asked say briefly 'a neurological condition'. If you don't say, it makes ignorant people more nosey!

Good luck!

I wouldn’t bother if it were my husband. I would feel indignant on his behalf, but really wouldn’t want anything to do with them.

The do sound extremely ignorant. I would call and explain and, as others have said, ask if they could come and get you if they see him unwell again.

Worst case scenario they may think you are covering for him. Best case scenario they will be ashamed of their stupid behaviour and won't inflict it on him again.

I would certainly pop along to the new neighbours giving them the sketchiest of details of your husband's problem but gently enlisting their aid for potential recurrence. I would also jokily refer to their reaction in a way that might make them feel uncomfortable if they do happen to be decent folks.

I agree with BlueBelle and others, I would see your neighbours and explain the situation to them. I'm sure they will apologise for mis reading the situation.

No don’t leave it
It needs addressing they need to know they need to feel and they need to apologise
You can tell them with out any accusations just politely that what was funny to them is not to you as your husband is ill do it all in a friendly way so they don’t feel cornered or got at

Obviously if it were to happen after they know that would be very different

As a child of about 6 (many many) years ago mum took me shopping into Leeds one Saturday afternoon we were going for the bus home mum who was visibly tired a state she seemed to live in, she began staggering I remember trying to help her. We were heading towards the bus stop when several people passed - none offered help and most tutted and said how disgusting a drunk with a child. I remember mum saying come on let's just get home don't pay any attention. It was the last time we ever went shopping together into town she was diagnosed with MS later that year. There really shouldn't be a need to explain anything it was an awful way to behave no matter what but if you feel you would feel better then do it. Tell them your DH has a medical condition and there comments were hurtful when you both have enough to deal with. Best wishes and love to you both.

I hope you get a diagnosis soon

Knowing what could happen, is it wise for your DH to walk alone? Spring and summer are around the corner.

Unfortunately, talking to neighbours might not help as they may think you are covering for him.
I would let it go

Singing “show me the Way to go home”at him and flashing car lights I would want nothing to do with them whatsoever. What I might do is put a letter through their door just explaining that your husband has a medical condition and to please refrain from any more ignorant gestures (although if they are as bad as they sound maybe not put that last bit in as it might just wind them up, I do feel sorry for you with neighbours like that) ??‍♀️

bankhurst I'm sorry your DH has been treated in this way and that he hasn't been diagnosed treated yet. I think I would go and see these neighbours- perhaps they will turn out to be good neighbours when they understand what's going on and be s bit more helpful in future.

on my way to work one morning I spotted a young man who worked at the same place, he was staggering as though drunk. Fortunately I happened to know he was a diabetic needing insulin injections so I called an ambulance and stayed with him of course until he was taken to hospital. I held on to him as we sat on a garden wall waiting and it was a job to stop him lolling around. anyone else may have assumed the young man was drunk.