Phone calls on Mother's Day

I think that sometimes we need to be slightly and gently proactive. Could you have rung or texted a week or so ago, and said it’s Mothering Sunday on Sunday, would you (some or all) like to come over for coffee or whatever, and you could then have fitted around your son’s/DiLs special days too? Perhaps suggest a belated Mother’s Day tea at your house later this week?

I saw our DD on Thursday and our DS on Saturday, as both had other plans for Sunday. We swapped cards and flowers then, as DD is also a mum. Her husband took her away for a romantic weekend, plus children, which was lovely.

None of us phoned each other on Sunday, there were a few WhatsApps, inc photos. I actually went on a photography course on Sunday, which was great fun. My husband gave me flowers, yesterday, which was a lovely thought. Best wishes, and hope all goes well next year. ???

i normally get a message from estranged daughter via face book yesterday nothing means she is in one of her moods of i have done something to annoy her !! as i have not seen her or had a spoken conversation in 13 years what could i have done now, the estrangement was her choice and i spent three years trying to see or speak to her

Nanny2859

I usually get several phonecards per day from my daughter. My son messages a few times each week.

Well, that's going to make Nanny feel a whole lot better.

Saw both my girls yesterday with flowers cards and chocolate and a late phone call from my son apologising as he a 4 yr old daughter had been on the sofa all weekend with temperatures and sore throats while his partner had taken her Mum out for a lovely lunch. Just a phone call is good enough for me.

One of my sons gave me a card on Saturday, but then called me at 1pm yesterday to see if I would join him and his family for an impromptu Mother's day lunch out.

I didn't get anything, not even a text, from my other son. I saw on Facebook a week ago that he had mistakenly thought it was Mother's day then, and had given my dil a really lovely gift on behalf of the children.

I think it's lovely that he is such a thoughtful husband (doesn't get that from his dad!), but I couldn't help feeling a little upset that he didn't even think to send me a short text, either last week or this.

I had to give myself a good talking-to. Although I don't see him very often now that I am no longer needed for regular childminding, we are on good terms, and I know I could always turn to him for help if I needed it, so I really shouldn't let this bother me. Plus, with all the bad stuff that so many people are going through, this really is such a minor thing.
At least, that's what my head says, but try as I might, my heart is not quite as rational ...

People do not know what is important to you unless you tell them.

Phone calls and cards have largely been replaced by texts, my grandson and his friends would never phone or send cards to each other. I just think it is the way of the world now that only older people want cards or phone calls for events.

I have found that since my DS's have had GF's they have been better at remembering Mother's Day, birthdays etc.

This is no excuse but I think women are better at remembering these occasions and the upset it can cause if forgotten.

DS2 phoned from Majorca at 8.15, though my body clock still thought it was 7.15 and I wasn't quite awake. DS2 called on a bad line from Egypt. He had sent a gift before he left last week, DS1's flowers came around midday. Both also sent numerous photographs. So I didn't do badly considering that they were both out of the country!

@ Ashcombe thanks for the link about Mothering Sunday. I think the Christian origins may explain my older son's aversion to it as they have been pagan for a few years.

I suppose with us, so much of what we celebrate is tradition that it feels very odd when someone bows out.

@Aldom thankyou!

For me its not so much about the gifts, though my youngest bought me gin and a scented candle it was lovely as the gin had a special Mothers day message- but in all honesty I was so pleased for him to spend time with me.

My husband bought me flowers because he knew I was upset by the actions of my older son. Its not the gifts, I'd have been happy with a phone call or a card, just an action that showed care... I feel like actions speak louder than words. All he did was complain about Mother's Day and said that "every day should be about children". He also said he and his wife were indifferent to "festivals". I honestly thought we had made progress with them, but we haven't seen them for a few months now and they refuse to even make any plans for Easter. I didn't react to any of this nonsense or answer his last message because it made absolutely no sense to me at all and was completely disrespectful.

Sorry Nanny2859, I meant to say, It is alway better to get a call than a text from family, but at least he remembered.

I had maybe the best Mothering Sunday in years! My son always cooks for his in- laws on the day and yesterday I was invited too. Super meal, great company. It made me realise how little I have seen of them or anyone apart from my husband and my daughter these past two years.

It is always disappointing when our AC do not behave as we would wish. However I would have probably text back and thanked them for the wishes & asked what time would be convenient for a chat.
As a child Mothering Sunday meant making a card at Sunday School then going into the Morning Service and the vicar giving each child flowers to give to their mother. That was it. No idea if my mum ever sent her mum a card? I suspect churches still do something similar but we do not go. In my family Mothering Sunday often clashed with either my birthday at the beginning of March or my mum's birthday at the end of the month... so often incorporated into another celebration.
I has become a big commercial event now with raised expectations which consequently results in greater disappointment!

I received a M&S bouquet from DD in Australia on Saturday morning, despite their Mothers Day being in May.

DIL dropped a card through the door whilst we were cooking Sunday lunch, and nipped off, didn’t call in. No sign of DS, but GS referees football matches on Sundays, so no doubt busy with that.

With them, it’s all or nothing. Sometimes receive flowers etc, sometimes not.

They only live a few minutes away, but now the grandchildren are older, just don’t see much of them. Think we are not as needed or useful now, but that’s the way it goes.

OnwardandUpward for you.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothering_Sunday

The origins of Mothering Sunday can be traced to the Christian church, unlike Mothers’ Day in other parts of the world (USA, Australia, etc) where it is more commercial and celebrated in May.

I regard mothers day as an advertising/media construct that has got completely out of hand over the years. Same as fathers day.

My parents never encouraged me to get on or supported my efforts to better myself by quaifying in my profession.. As soon as I left the parental home I just airbrushed it. I left all the hooha to my golden princess sister.

LtEve that's SO lovely!

So sorry your son is ill with covid Smileless! Really hope he's better soon so you can catch up.

My youngest son spent the day with us , visiting his grandma's and our Mum's but my older one sent me a series of texts that weren't very nice (he said that he doesn't believe in "festivals" and that Mother's day is not important...bla bla bla...) I didn't reply. I'm thankful for my youngest who's unselfish and kind. I know my older one has MH issues, but his attack on Mother's Day is a new low, even for him. Last year he bought me a plant. I still have that.

That is a lovely letter... definitely one to keep!

That’s sweet LtEve ?

Sorry picture didn’t post.

I was working today as was my DD. I got a lovely message from my older son but what made me cry was this card from my younger son. He’s 24 and has high functioning ASD. I am not ashamed to say I cried. He came round to give it to me and waited for me despite me being an hour late due to traffic.

Call them!

Thank them for the messages and have a chat

As I’m away in Portugal it’s my own fault that I’m not seeing them. I’ve spoken to my sons and my mother on FaceTime, and WhatsApped my daughter in New Zealand, who bless her heart told me I’m receiving a parcel from her when I get home for Mother’s Day. Today one of my sons has invited us and his brother and his wife to spend time with them in the villa they’ve hired for a holiday in France this summerso that’s nice. Our children are very special to us as I believe is the case with all the grandparents on here. I would just say that if they don’t phone you, you phone them and just thank them for the Mother’s Day message.