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AIBU

Phone calls on Mother's Day

(114 Posts)
Nanny2859 Sun 27-Mar-22 20:14:40

AIBU hoping my son and daughter might have phoned me on Mother's Day? And even better got the grandchildren to talk to me too? It's really got to me that neither of them have phoned, just a happy mother's day text.

Hithere Sun 27-Mar-22 20:16:52

It depends in your relationship with them, I am afraid there is not one universal answer

Nanny2859 Sun 27-Mar-22 20:18:14

I usually get several phonecards per day from my daughter. My son messages a few times each week.

SuzieHi Sun 27-Mar-22 20:18:23

Sorry to hear that. Sounds very thoughtless of them. Are they normally kind /good people or is this typical behaviour for them?
Think I would let them both know I was upset.

TillyTrotter Sun 27-Mar-22 20:18:39

I feel sad for you Nanny .
Maybe when you next speak to your children, and you are not feeling emotional, say that you would really love it if you got a ‘phone call from them on Mothering Sunday next time as it is more personal than a text.
?

Smileless2012 Sun 27-Mar-22 20:19:45

I was really looking forward to a face time chat with DS in Aus. but he sent a message saying he was ill in bed with Covid. Disappointed of course but as long as he's OK, that's all that matters.

Hopefully we'll catch up in a day or two.

Jaylou Sun 27-Mar-22 20:23:05

Sorry to hear that Nanny2859. A text is not a substitute for a card, phone call or visit. You are not AIBU.
I have always made an effort on the day, whereas my younger brother seems to think making an effort for our mum on mother's day didn't count once he became a father himself. He is 60, and may remember once every 5 years.

Nanny2859 Sun 27-Mar-22 20:23:47

Sorry to hear you didn't get your Facetime call. Hope you catch up with DS soon.

crazyH Sun 27-Mar-22 20:30:00

Nanny2859 - it’s not as if they forgot you totally. I have 3 children, one daughter and 2 sons. Daughter is divorced, her two children are in Uni, so, she and I went out to lunch. My sons just sent texts. They were busy celebrating with their wives and children. You must bear in mind that daughters-in- law are mothers too. I did receive videos and photos of their day. In the past, I might have got upset, but now, I am just happy that they are enjoying their lives together.
I have learnt over the years, to accept that I am way down in the pecking order. I must be in the minority, but I do prefer texts to talking on the phone .
Just to cheer you up flowers

kittylester Sun 27-Mar-22 20:52:42

I agree with crazyH. It's not about us now - it's about them as mothers and fathers.

I had presents from 4 of them which were left with dh on various previous visits and the 5th one popped round at teatime while his partner was at her mum's.

Nanny2859 Sun 27-Mar-22 20:53:01

I think I need to learn to accept that I'm further down the pecking order. Its hard when DIL's and SIL's parents always seem to be a higher priority. I hate feeling jealous but find it hard not to.

Smileless2012 Sun 27-Mar-22 20:54:19

Thanks Nanny.

Nanny2859 Sun 27-Mar-22 20:54:59

TillyTrotter

I feel sad for you Nanny .
Maybe when you next speak to your children, and you are not feeling emotional, say that you would really love it if you got a ‘phone call from them on Mothering Sunday next time as it is more personal than a text.
?

I think I'm going to try that. Maybe they don't realise I would really love a phone call from them and the grandchildren on special days like this and my birthday.

Thoro Sun 27-Mar-22 21:07:52

Why don’t you phone them? I don’t set too much store by these celebration days (even birthdays) but feel I have great relationships with my children - even though I might not speak to the older two frequently. (the youngest lives locally and with year old twins and a four year old I have a lot of input.)
I think kids nowadays are more likely to message but I’m sure they’d be happy for you to call them

maddyone Sun 27-Mar-22 21:09:00

As I’m away in Portugal it’s my own fault that I’m not seeing them. I’ve spoken to my sons and my mother on FaceTime, and WhatsApped my daughter in New Zealand, who bless her heart told me I’m receiving a parcel from her when I get home for Mother’s Day. Today one of my sons has invited us and his brother and his wife to spend time with them in the villa they’ve hired for a holiday in France this summerso that’s nice. Our children are very special to us as I believe is the case with all the grandparents on here. I would just say that if they don’t phone you, you phone them and just thank them for the Mother’s Day message.

VioletSky Sun 27-Mar-22 21:21:21

Call them!

Thank them for the messages and have a chat

LtEve Sun 27-Mar-22 21:54:56

I was working today as was my DD. I got a lovely message from my older son but what made me cry was this card from my younger son. He’s 24 and has high functioning ASD. I am not ashamed to say I cried. He came round to give it to me and waited for me despite me being an hour late due to traffic.

LtEve Sun 27-Mar-22 21:55:32

Sorry picture didn’t post.

crazyH Sun 27-Mar-22 21:59:05

That’s sweet LtEve ?

Ali23 Sun 27-Mar-22 22:17:03

That is a lovely letter... definitely one to keep!

OnwardandUpward Mon 28-Mar-22 00:41:00

LtEve that's SO lovely!

So sorry your son is ill with covid Smileless! Really hope he's better soon so you can catch up.

My youngest son spent the day with us , visiting his grandma's and our Mum's but my older one sent me a series of texts that weren't very nice (he said that he doesn't believe in "festivals" and that Mother's day is not important...bla bla bla...) I didn't reply. I'm thankful for my youngest who's unselfish and kind. I know my older one has MH issues, but his attack on Mother's Day is a new low, even for him. Last year he bought me a plant. I still have that.

biglouis Mon 28-Mar-22 01:13:40

I regard mothers day as an advertising/media construct that has got completely out of hand over the years. Same as fathers day.

My parents never encouraged me to get on or supported my efforts to better myself by quaifying in my profession.. As soon as I left the parental home I just airbrushed it. I left all the hooha to my golden princess sister.

Ashcombe Mon 28-Mar-22 05:07:17

The origins of Mothering Sunday can be traced to the Christian church, unlike Mothers’ Day in other parts of the world (USA, Australia, etc) where it is more commercial and celebrated in May.

Ashcombe Mon 28-Mar-22 05:08:24

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothering_Sunday

Aldom Mon 28-Mar-22 07:04:15

OnwardandUpward flowers for you.