Ignorant or acceptable?

Its not it's!

Thank you for your great responses!
I'm not going to lower myself to their level by retaliating in any way, but am keeping a diary of time, duration, specific noise and it's impact. I'm loathe to make any formal complaint in case I do eventually decide to sell up - as I know I would have to declare this. The mutual friend is my son - who won't get involved sadly.
I looked up the Noise Abatement link which was a helpful read, I'll try new earplugs and give myself a deadline of a month to take some sort of action - although I'm not sure what action that will be?! I'm away for the next 3 Saturdays, so may text them and tell them so - but will be home (and due to work) on the last Sunday in April - and see what happens on the night before that ?

You could work it out from the post

Personally I don't think for one moment Sago that buying a gift would work for people like this, I really don't. They sound awful neighbours and not an ounce of respect for anyone.

A few years ago my sister and partner went camping in Wales and the noise and screaming from the tent a few yards away was dreadful. Shouting and swearing, man dragging woman into the car and ranting at her. This went on for two nights and the tent across had enough. At 6.00am the next morning he was out with some pans and tent pegs and banged and banged outside of his tent announcing first in a loud voice he was very sorry for the noise he was going to make to the rest of the site but he had enough. He banged and banged away for ages and the whole campsite came out and clapped him and hey presto the noisy campers left the next day!

Maybe the gift could be a hand penned poem titled how to have quieter sex

I'll let you begin

Sex noise

AGAA4

I think with some people responding in kind is the only way. If you have been reasonable and they are just ignoring you wait for the sex noises and put some loud silly music on. Maybe the birdie song.

I agree with this. I'd find something nice and loud and quite annoying. My current choice is "He's going to marry YumYum" from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado. (That's what I play to cold callers on the phone, saying, "Just playing some music while I transfer you......" as they explain about free energy consultations or whatever)

But, in your circumstances, maybe Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" would be more suitable.... "In the midnight hour, she cried more, more, more. With a rebel yell she cried more, more, more...."

Why is it that inconsiderate, arrogant, selfish and loutish individuals are gaining the upper hand? It's not just the 'neighbours from hell' - it's everywhere. Look at the behaviour of some during Lockdown when illegal raves and parties were held in various locations, and the locals were left to clear up the mounds of rubbish left behind. Hooligans using people's gardens (or doorways) as toilets on their way home from a night out - especially after a rugby / football game. Anti-vaxxers attacking NHS staff and trying to prevent them from doing their job. Yobs harassing MPs (of both parties), not to mention all the on-line abuse and death threats being issued to various high-profile figures - both women and men.

Sometimes it seems like we're at the mercy of mob-rule and that there's precious little done to combat it. Using the legal and recommended paths to deal with such problem gets nowhere.

Is it just me, or are we really becoming a nation that simply tolerates too much boorish, ill-mannered and crass behaviour? And, why is it happening?

They might be home owners, but they still have to stick to the noise by-laws.
As others have said, you need to keep a diary of dates and times etc and it might help if you can speak to other neighbours that may be able to hear more than you think they can!
Certainly speak to Environmental Health at your local council and take their advice.
Invest in ear plugs, I would suggest that you played loud music when they get home, but then you could be in trouble if they complain!

I would contact the environment dept at the council and if you have not got a good recorder they may be able to lend you a machine so that you can record the decibels of the noise over time. This will give you actual evidence that it is not a one off, that it is constantly above a reasonable level and that they make no effort to reduce the sound. Then with the evidence you can proceed via the council people or solicitor , but that clear evidence will be your best bet whatever you decide to do . If nothing seems to work very well |I would be quite keen to have the radio on on sunday morning probably playing church bells too.

Jackk
Absolutely awful. If you get no reply to your polite message then next time it happens I would put on some very loud music against the wall adjoining their’s. I would be very selective in music choice and would suggest a soprano Operatic aria.
Then I’d leave my bedroom and sleep on the couch.

Of

My friend is currently having the same problem with one oh her neighbours, but it’s more frequent must be awful to live like this, she’s in a flat though! Nothing worse! Hope you can sort it out soon! Times like this I’m so glad we live in a detached home! I’m not going to say play them at there own game though as two wrongs don’t make a right!

We had this problem some years ago, at a previous property. A polite request was agreed with and then completely ignored and the late night noise continued. So we used to get up early the morning after the noise and strim the grass, put rubbish, cans bottles etc. in the empty metal dustbin. I’m sure you get the drift. We then had reasonably peaceful nights, with just the occasional blip.

For years my father's neighbours were really deafening .

They had constant daily rows .And when husband and wife weren't fighting -there were huge rows with their children .

The wife also used to mouth off in the street to anyone who'd listen .

Neighbours were asking how he could tolerate it .
They called her the fish wife and wanted her to move .

And yet - he did tolerate it -
unusually for him ,because he is actually an intolerant person .

I wondered about either moving or getting sound proofing .

After about 15 years of being able to hear every word and swear word through the thin adjoining wall -the rows stopped .

And so did the loud sessions on the pavement outside .

Try putting in some soundproofing on your joint walls!!

Who is the mutual friend who gave you the phone number? Could he/she be of any help to you?

kittylester

Please tell what SN stands for.

Sexual Noises - took me a moment to get it!

I’m living with a neighbor from hell and looking to move so he can be someone else problem. Where I live there moved in a kid looks about 18-19 we all in our 40-55. He plays rap music full blast 10 hrs plus 24/7 aday singing along with it and he sings out of key at first it was funny but it’s not after first few times. Consent slamming doors 24/7 with his friends. This as being going on since nov when he moved in. I’ve contact landlord and I was sent some paperwork to fill in and download a noise app he was sent a letter he was quite a few weeks then started again. Other neighbors have complained and I have again and again it was fill out some paperwork. I understand what you are suffering the not allowed to sleep for noise. I’ve tried loads of earplugs. My advice would be contact your landlord but as mine said it won’t help but everyone as to learn to live together. I’ve lived here 9yrs

My mother had this problem with former neighbours she called the police as it sounded like someone getting murdered No more SN etc from next door ensued

Try sleeping downstairs?

This is one reason I am reluctant to downsize and risk leaving the peace and quiet I enjoy for the possibility of having neighbours from hell!!

I'm guessing you won't get any joy from any of your communications with this neighbours.

You have clearly identified and described their Unreasonable Behaviour, and I agree it is Unreasonable Behaviour, yet you hold out hope that you can get them to Behave Reasonably?

Do you really hold out hope that communicating with them will result in a change of their behaviour?

In fact you may only be creating a world of grief for yourself by even trying to communicate with them. As you live alone I'd be looking at other ways to manage the problem.

Do you have another room you can sleep in if the noise gets too much? I have a friend who has to do this regularly due to her neighbours.

As others have said look into different types of ear plugs.

There behaviour tells you lots about how they view others and it's not in a considerate way. Sadly to them you don't count.

This comes down to your peace and right to sleep verses their idea of a fun time. You are never going to be important enough for them to wind back their "fun".

Reality is often the while you, your wellbeing, sleep, peace matter to you - you don't matter to your neighbours. So nothing you can say and very little you can do will matter enough to make them consider you and your needs. Sad but too often true.

As for embarrassing them, unlikely to work and I'd have a good hard think about revenge noise. If you want to make this situation into a full on battle go ahead but these things don't often have a good outcome.

Sadly, best to think creatively of the best ways you can look after you, your sleep and your peace because I suspect getting these people to Change their Behaviour for You isn't going to happen.

Good Luck and may you have some peaceful nights and restful sleeps.

As you have already sent a text it may be difficult to have a direct conversation to voice your complaint.
When we moved here next door were noisy. They knew it and previous neighbours had complained. I did say Gosh didnt realise the walls were so thin. Hope WE are not too noisy. Shall we just agree that if either of us have any issues we chat them through. This is exactly what has happened over the years. We have survived children screaming in the garden, teenage partytimes and loud music, Tv blaring and loud arguments( both sides of the wall..its life) Fortunatly no fall outs. We do make a point of letting each other know if we are having a party and often invite each other but both tone it down around midnight. We know we are lucky.

Dee1012

Oddly enough I was chatting with someone who lives locally to me and is suffering hugely with antisocial behaviour from neighbours, on reporting the noise again (as instructed by police), she's had a call from the council who told her as the complaints generally about these people now number in excess of 10, no more letters will be sent to them as, they could accuse the council of harassment.

Is this the world we have created??!!

So instead of the number of complaints indicating that there is a real problem, it means instead that the noise-louts are being harassed.

I hope this way of thinking doesn't spread - if, for example, a repeat sex-offender has accusations made against him by a number of victims, he might be able to turn the tables and accuse them of harassing him...

Utterly ridiculous and shameful that the council are thinking of saving their own skin - talk about 'jobsworths'...

I've never been a fan of the 'PC gone made' rhetoric, but am beginning to see why it has evolved.

And if said council ends up being responsible for further escalation of the trouble - by refusing to do anything about it - I'm sure there'll be talk of "missed opportunities"... which is politically correct language used to cover up sheer incompetence.