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AIBU

Ignorant or acceptable?

(90 Posts)
JackK Mon 28-Mar-22 15:34:40

Every Saturday is hell. My neighbours come home from wherever, and all hell breaks loose. They both have loud voices anyway, but after a few beers the volume increases dramatically. The noise goes on until the early hours which is then followed by gruesome sex noise that continues for at least an hour. This week, the noise (punctuated by SN at 3am) continued until I left for work at 6.30am. At around 3.30 I shouted "Shut the fuck up", and he shouted something back and banged the wall.
I got his number off a mutual friend and sent him this text on Sunday afternoon. I've had no reply ... is that him being rude, or me expecting too much?

Hithere Mon 28-Mar-22 15:44:12

No, it's not too much to expect a reply but you are talking about people who don't seem to have much consideration for others

May I ask if you are the only who is impacted by their actions? How about other neighbours?
Strength in numbers could help

If they are breaking any rules, could you tell them that the noise ordinances/ other rule are being broken and impacting their community?

JackK Mon 28-Mar-22 15:50:01

We're semi detached and I'm joined onto them, so I don't know if anyone else is disturbed?
I'd considered contacting environmental health, if they don't reply, but since it's only on a Saturday afternoon/night/Sunday early hours, I don't know if I'd have a valid complaint?

Dee1012 Mon 28-Mar-22 15:53:45

Personally, I think you've shown restraint...as you said, if it's every week I'm afraid I wouldn't be apologising.

Oddly enough I was chatting with someone who lives locally to me and is suffering hugely with antisocial behaviour from neighbours, on reporting the noise again (as instructed by police), she's had a call from the council who told her as the complaints generally about these people now number in excess of 10, no more letters will be sent to them as, they could accuse the council of harassment confused.

Is this the world we have created??!!

kittylester Mon 28-Mar-22 15:58:08

Please tell what SN stands for.

JackK Mon 28-Mar-22 15:59:39

I think my restraint originates from living alone ... and they're not the nicest people (if you catch my drift!) Everyone in the road (including me) seems to keep themselves to themselves ... I've lived here for 17 years and it's always been the same. Their non-joined neighbours are relatively new, and seem similar from what I've heard two houses away, so I daren't ask them in case it got back to the noisy neighbours ?

crazyH Mon 28-Mar-22 16:02:03

Noise Abatement Society, I think, is a charity set up to resolve noise problems, between neighbours.

SachaMac Mon 28-Mar-22 16:15:14

They sound truly awful, I have lovely neighbours and that’s one of the main reasons I wouldn’t consider moving, you just don’t know who you’re going to get stuck with. Maybe because they’ve been drinking they are oblivious to how loud they are, it will be interesting to see if it’s as bad this Saturday now you’ve messaged them about it. It’s ignorant of them not to at least acknowledge your text, they could be embarrassed or is it more likely they’re the kind of people who just don’t give a damn.

Callistemon21 Mon 28-Mar-22 16:17:49

Are they renting?
Could you contact the owner of the property if so?

Calendargirl Mon 28-Mar-22 16:42:28

kittylester

Please tell what SN stands for.

Sex Noise?

JaneJudge Mon 28-Mar-22 16:46:43

Well if they are ignorant I think you've made it pretty clear what is acceptable and hopefully they will be more considerate.

I'd be tempted to start texting them if loud sex noise continues on a Sunday morning, things like - HAVE YOU FOUND IT YET?

DiscoDancer1975 Mon 28-Mar-22 16:49:33

You need to keep a record...video/ audio if you can, if all else has failed. Then contact your council Environmental department.

It’s horrible isn’t it. I wish you all the best.

Visgir1 Mon 28-Mar-22 16:51:59

Friend had a noise issue with neighbours, parties until early hours of the morning.
Her husband on a Sunday was due on duty at 7 am so at about 6.30 am as he left the house, he went to the "party" house kept ringing the door bell until someone came downstairs to answer it. He in a cool, sarcastic way, told them that he wasn't impressed with the repeat racket last night, and thought they would appreciate an early morning wake up call.... It worked.

AGAA4 Mon 28-Mar-22 17:03:25

I think with some people responding in kind is the only way. If you have been reasonable and they are just ignoring you wait for the sex noises and put some loud silly music on. Maybe the birdie song.

JackK Mon 28-Mar-22 17:29:44

Sachamac - I wondered about embarrassment too ... I'm hoping that's the reason.
I'm away for the next 3 Saturday nights so unfortunately (or fortunately!) won't be able to monitor any change.
They're owners, so no chance of contacting a landlord.
Thanks everyone! And yes, SN is sex noise!

kittylester Mon 28-Mar-22 17:32:34

Calendar it said 'This week, the noise (punctuated by SN at 3am) continued until I left.....'

Just wondering! grin

Chestnut Mon 28-Mar-22 17:46:44

If it's just one day a week and you know what day then there are very good earplugs on the market which will block all noise completely. I've used them myself for noise at night and they work. My advice is to buy some earplugs.

PamelaJ1 Mon 28-Mar-22 19:14:43

I bought a pack of ear plugs for women on line. There are about 10 different types to try and are designed for narrower ear canals. I’m working my way through them but they seem to work for snoring.. no SN’s here!

JackK Mon 28-Mar-22 19:28:05

I have the wax earplugs. Tried the foam ones too.
Can you please give me a link for your earplugs Chestnut?

Elegran Mon 28-Mar-22 20:24:12

AGAA4

I think with some people responding in kind is the only way. If you have been reasonable and they are just ignoring you wait for the sex noises and put some loud silly music on. Maybe the birdie song.

Choose music with a definite and unignorable beat which speeds up rapidly and ends in a crescendo and then silence. Break the silence by saying loudly "Shall we do that again?" and restarting the music. Repeat until next door are too exhausted to try to keep up.

Chestnut Tue 29-Mar-22 00:18:02

JackK

I have the wax earplugs. Tried the foam ones too.
Can you please give me a link for your earplugs Chestnut?

I bought these which are no longer available but there must be similar for sleeping.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08317LDRL/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s00?psc=1&tag=gransnetforum-21&ie=UTF8

Maybe try these?
www.amazon.co.uk/Alpine-SleepDeep-Soft-Plugs-Sleeping/dp/B097YQLX6K/ref=sr_1_20?c=ts&s=drugstore&ts_id=2826558031&keywords=Ear+Plugs&tag=gransnetforum-21&qid=1648509204&sr=1-20

Chestnut Tue 29-Mar-22 00:26:15

I must stress you need to get them fitting properly or the sound will come through. I press them in place and then click my finger near the ear. If I can hear the click then the earplug is not in place and I have to try again. When snugly inside the ear you will be aware of nothing but silence!

JackK Tue 29-Mar-22 05:31:51

Thank you! I'll give them a try!

DiamondLily Tue 29-Mar-22 05:50:15

I use these - they drown out my husbands awful snoring and his CPap machine. ?

Would highly recommend. They are Silicone putty and soft/moldable.

www.amazon.co.uk/Macks-Pillow-Moldable-Silicone-Earplugs/dp/B0083A3PLA/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2CQUM09561FNM&keywords=macks+ear+plugs&sprefix=Mack%2Caps%2C78&tag=gransnetforum-21&qid=1648529265&sr=8-2

Sago Tue 29-Mar-22 10:31:22

Do not start a feud by playing loud music etc.
This will antagonise them.
I would suggest going to see them with a small but thoughtful gift and explain that this is causing you grief.
Remember that by law you have to notify prospective buyers of any property of neighbourly disputes.
If you have to sell you could ruin your chances.