Ignorant or acceptable?

years ago I had neighbours in a flat that made enough noise the people in the next none joining block could hear them. They use to make noise from 1am to about 6am, I was up with my young kids about 6.30.
After asking them nicely and getting nothing but abuse I paid them back by turning my stereo up full bung about 8am, lying the speakers on my floor ( their ceiling) and going out for 2 or 3 hrs.
They got the hint.

Just discussing this thread with my hubby who has made this tongue-in-cheek suggestion for a 'small thoughtful gift' . How about taking them round a pair of those gags used in sex games?! And no, before anyone asks, we don't use or need anything like that as we live in a detached house! ?

I have a similar situation with weekenders who make a great show of arriving, leaving, having family over to stay etc. It is all about them to the exclusion of all others. Their weekend so they are hell bent on enjoying it no matter if it upsets the peace and quiet of others. Even when they talk to other neighbours it is about them.

I had exactly the same with old neighbours of mine. Every weekend, shouting not talking, sex noises, bringing others back, etc. I started work Sat and Sundays at 6am and it drove me bonkers. Through the week he played his PlayStation til all hours, explosions and gunfire coming through the walls. This man is 65 years old and so is his wife and had no respect whatsoever. I tried speaking to them and he told me to knock the wall if they were rowdy which I did, only for the wall to get hammered back and I was told to #!*? off. My nerves were on end so I decided to pack up and leave, I was lucky I could. I'm now in a detached bungalow and its so quiet, but it's awful I'd to sell up my family home where I grew up with my parents to get a bit of peace from those hateful people.

Is your bed against the party wall? Would it help to move it, if so? Perhaps this seems like giving in but do you have a spare bedroom on the other side of the house that you could sleep in on Saturday nights? If you can afford it, there are noise insulating linings for walls. Ear plugs are cheaper but do you need to be able to hear an alarm clock or smoke alarm?

The best and most comfortable earplugs for sleeping through noise for me have been Just 4 Dreams foam ones (on Amazon.) I find wax ones etc too hard and can't sleep in them. Other foam ones never blocked noise well enough but these do, if you squeeze them up and push them deep into your ear while pulling out your ear flap and hold them in place while they expand. They work for me (husband snoring) and are comfy even to sleep on your side. Just a suggestion if the others don't work!

Visgirl - I think that's brilliant about the early morning doorbell call, from the neighbour who's on their way to work. A great way to make a point.

Dee1012

Personally, I think you've shown restraint...as you said, if it's every week I'm afraid I wouldn't be apologising.

Oddly enough I was chatting with someone who lives locally to me and is suffering hugely with antisocial behaviour from neighbours, on reporting the noise again (as instructed by police), she's had a call from the council who told her as the complaints generally about these people now number in excess of 10, no more letters will be sent to them as, they could accuse the council of harassment .

Is this the world we have created??!!

Unfortunately I think it is. So many people are more focused on their rights and entitlements than on showing consideration for other people and this is the result. Groups and organisations pandering to them and victims being pushed into second place.

I found the wax earplugs very good. They are quite large so I split in half for each ear. There are also silicone ones that I have seen in Superdrug. I had surgery on my ear so had to wear them when near any water over a few years but also good for sound. I can sympathise tho as it is not just about the noise but must also be some element of vibration as well.

JackK Commiserations. I lived next to a couple who had a loud piano placed on our joint wall. They would think nothing of starting to sing near midnight, and carrying on until after 2am. With their guests singing too.

My neighbour on the other side was a woman who had to leave for work at 5.15am. Several times she flew out of her house in a feisty fit, and hammer on their door shouting.

I have never found any earplugs that drown out noise effectively. I have some of those corkscrew ones that were recommended to me but they don’t work for me. Maybe I don’t use them correctly. I’d love some that work as there’s not much worse than noisy neighbours causing misery. I don’t think enough is done to help people suffering from others’ lack of consideration.

I really would not be looking to escalate. Talking to them is probably the best way forward. Failing that keep a diary, record what you can and note how its affecting you. If its only one day a week getting them to understand that you can hear everything is probably the best way to manage the situation. That and headphones.

Giulia - I explained SN earlier in the thread?! Sex Noise. I'd just abbreviated an earlier phrase to save repeating it!

Diamond Lily thank you for that link. Sago - I agree with having a quiet word, but can't for the life of me understand why I should take them a small but thoughtful gift?!

kittylester

Please tell what SN stands for.

Yes, Ketty, I'd like to know too. I hate this over-use of acronyms.

Do not start a feud by playing loud music etc.
This will antagonise them.
I would suggest going to see them with a small but thoughtful gift and explain that this is causing you grief.
Remember that by law you have to notify prospective buyers of any property of neighbourly disputes.
If you have to sell you could ruin your chances.

I use these - they drown out my husbands awful snoring and his CPap machine. ?

Would highly recommend. They are Silicone putty and soft/moldable.

www.amazon.co.uk/Macks-Pillow-Moldable-Silicone-Earplugs/dp/B0083A3PLA/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2CQUM09561FNM&keywords=macks+ear+plugs&sprefix=Mack%2Caps%2C78&tag=gransnetforum-21&qid=1648529265&sr=8-2

Thank you! I'll give them a try!

I must stress you need to get them fitting properly or the sound will come through. I press them in place and then click my finger near the ear. If I can hear the click then the earplug is not in place and I have to try again. When snugly inside the ear you will be aware of nothing but silence!

JackK

I have the wax earplugs. Tried the foam ones too.
Can you please give me a link for your earplugs Chestnut?

I bought these which are no longer available but there must be similar for sleeping.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08317LDRL/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s00?psc=1&tag=gransnetforum-21&ie=UTF8

Maybe try these?
www.amazon.co.uk/Alpine-SleepDeep-Soft-Plugs-Sleeping/dp/B097YQLX6K/ref=sr_1_20?c=ts&s=drugstore&ts_id=2826558031&keywords=Ear+Plugs&tag=gransnetforum-21&qid=1648509204&sr=1-20

AGAA4

I think with some people responding in kind is the only way. If you have been reasonable and they are just ignoring you wait for the sex noises and put some loud silly music on. Maybe the birdie song.

Choose music with a definite and unignorable beat which speeds up rapidly and ends in a crescendo and then silence. Break the silence by saying loudly "Shall we do that again?" and restarting the music. Repeat until next door are too exhausted to try to keep up.

I have the wax earplugs. Tried the foam ones too.
Can you please give me a link for your earplugs Chestnut?

I bought a pack of ear plugs for women on line. There are about 10 different types to try and are designed for narrower ear canals. I’m working my way through them but they seem to work for snoring.. no SN’s here!

If it's just one day a week and you know what day then there are very good earplugs on the market which will block all noise completely. I've used them myself for noise at night and they work. My advice is to buy some earplugs.

Calendar it said 'This week, the noise (punctuated by SN at 3am) continued until I left.....'

Just wondering!