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Footballs again

(35 Posts)
pattieb Sun 17-Apr-22 12:55:55

I’ve tried talking to neighbours about footballs coming over fence into my garden to no avail.
We have agreed that I will throw them back on Mondays.
However I am literally crying with frustration today.
One came over in the week, Ok no worries.
Just about to open patio door to let the fresh air in, go into garden to cut grass etc, hang washing out.
Visitors next door ...three fully grown teenagers start football and within minutes there are four balls in my garden.
It’s depressing. I can’t reason with them, the don’t apologise, care or understand.
Surely I’m entitled to better than this?
What can I do?

Chewbacca Sun 17-Apr-22 13:04:07

Just ignore them. You've discussed with your neighbour as to when you're prepared to throw the balls back over the fence so keep to that agreement. If they shout over for you to return the balls, or if they knock on to ask you; you can't hear them or just don't answer. Then tomorrow, being a Monday, lob them all back as agreed. They'll get the message eventually.

pattieb Sun 17-Apr-22 13:20:31

Chewbacca

Just ignore them. You've discussed with your neighbour as to when you're prepared to throw the balls back over the fence so keep to that agreement. If they shout over for you to return the balls, or if they knock on to ask you; you can't hear them or just don't answer. Then tomorrow, being a Monday, lob them all back as agreed. They'll get the message eventually.

Wish I could ignore them. It’s been 5 years, it feels like an invasion of my privacy. I don’t know why it gets to me so much. I think it’s the lack of care and their attitude. Even the father does it so there’s no hope.
I feel like. Moaning Minny but it just spoils my enjoyment of the lovely weather and the home and garden I have worked so hard for.

Smileless2012 Sun 17-Apr-22 13:28:46

Good advice Chewbacca. It must be extremely annoying pattieb, why can't people show some consideration to others?

I did type another suggestion but it was rather naughty so decided against.

Casdon Sun 17-Apr-22 13:33:47

It wouldn’t bother me to be honest, I like to hear people having a good time. They won’t be doing it for many more years anyway if they are teenagers, so it’s best to just put up with it, it’s not like they are doing it deliberately to annoy you.

I’d be more annoyed to hear somebody cutting their grass on Easter Sunday, so maybe leave that until tomorrow?

Dickens Sun 17-Apr-22 14:08:35

it’s not like they are doing it deliberately to annoy you.

What they're doing is equally bad - because they just don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. It's inconsiderate and loutish behaviour perpetuated by unthinking and ill-mannered individuals.

They're old enough to know better - but obviously haven't been taught any civility by their equally uncouth parents.

Many years ago now my late ex and I were having coffee in a park café at the end of acres of grassy parkland. A crowd of teenagers decided they would have a "good time" by playing football next to the outside dining area. Inevitably, the ball landed on the table of an elderly couple and smashed into the crockery. My ex took the ball and handed it back to them and asked them, politely, to play further away, thinking they might not have realised how stupid they were being. In reply, one of the youth punched my ex in the face, splitting his lip.

It's not the 'youth of today' - these selfish little thugs have always been around - but we have become more tolerant because we want to be 'inclusive' and liberal.

I make no apology for their behaviour. It's self-indulgent, selfish and arrogant.

Robin49 Sun 17-Apr-22 14:22:22

Dickens

^it’s not like they are doing it deliberately to annoy you.^

What they're doing is equally bad - because they just don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. It's inconsiderate and loutish behaviour perpetuated by unthinking and ill-mannered individuals.

They're old enough to know better - but obviously haven't been taught any civility by their equally uncouth parents.

Many years ago now my late ex and I were having coffee in a park café at the end of acres of grassy parkland. A crowd of teenagers decided they would have a "good time" by playing football next to the outside dining area. Inevitably, the ball landed on the table of an elderly couple and smashed into the crockery. My ex took the ball and handed it back to them and asked them, politely, to play further away, thinking they might not have realised how stupid they were being. In reply, one of the youth punched my ex in the face, splitting his lip.

It's not the 'youth of today' - these selfish little thugs have always been around - but we have become more tolerant because we want to be 'inclusive' and liberal.

I make no apology for their behaviour. It's self-indulgent, selfish and arrogant.

Couldn’t agree more.

Elizabeth27 Sun 17-Apr-22 14:22:45

I was sitting in my garden but had to come in because of lawnmowers and strimmers. I understand that people have to do their gardens but why don't they think about those that want to sit in theirs. I cut my grass later in the day so that it disturbs fewer people.

Balls over the fence wouldn’t bother me, it takes a second to throw them back.

Robin49 Sun 17-Apr-22 14:34:49

Casdon

It wouldn’t bother me to be honest, I like to hear people having a good time. They won’t be doing it for many more years anyway if they are teenagers, so it’s best to just put up with it, it’s not like they are doing it deliberately to annoy you.

I’d be more annoyed to hear somebody cutting their grass on Easter Sunday, so maybe leave that until tomorrow?

Why should she leave the grass until tomorrow. She’s quite entitled to cut her own grass when she wants. Where as her rude next door neighbours are not entitled to constantly kick balls over into her garden with no thought for her it anyone else.

BlueBelle Sun 17-Apr-22 14:42:02

I ve got a house of eight kids one side with a lot of footballs coming over, as they grew up and peace finally reigned a family of two boys moved in the other side
I don’t mind getting their balls for them my own kids were young once I told them from the start I wouldn’t get any balls after 7.30 pm and they don’t knock and ask just wait for the next day
It doesn’t bother me too much to be honest If it happened too many times in one day I d say don’t come round any more today and they wouldn’t and as for people strimming or mowing the lawn it’s life you can’t expect people to live in silence when the suns out that’s unreasonable expectations

Casdon Sun 17-Apr-22 14:43:29

Robin49

Casdon

It wouldn’t bother me to be honest, I like to hear people having a good time. They won’t be doing it for many more years anyway if they are teenagers, so it’s best to just put up with it, it’s not like they are doing it deliberately to annoy you.

I’d be more annoyed to hear somebody cutting their grass on Easter Sunday, so maybe leave that until tomorrow?

Why should she leave the grass until tomorrow. She’s quite entitled to cut her own grass when she wants. Where as her rude next door neighbours are not entitled to constantly kick balls over into her garden with no thought for her it anyone else.

The noise of people cutting their grass on Easter Sunday is intrusive, nobody wants to listen to machinery today, it’s just bad manners when so many people are outside enjoying the sun.
The noise of children and teenagers playing in their own gardens is a sign that they are together and having a good time, which I like to hear, particularly after two years when they couldn’t meet. Ball go over fences when people play football in the garden, but I think that’s a very minor inconvenience, not a big deal - I’m sure most people just throw them back.
Everybody is different, and has a different tolerance level, clearly.

Teacheranne Sun 17-Apr-22 15:23:58

BlueBelle

I ve got a house of eight kids one side with a lot of footballs coming over, as they grew up and peace finally reigned a family of two boys moved in the other side
I don’t mind getting their balls for them my own kids were young once I told them from the start I wouldn’t get any balls after 7.30 pm and they don’t knock and ask just wait for the next day
It doesn’t bother me too much to be honest If it happened too many times in one day I d say don’t come round any more today and they wouldn’t and as for people strimming or mowing the lawn it’s life you can’t expect people to live in silence when the suns out that’s unreasonable expectations

I agree with you, a few footballs over the fence and the sound of lawnmowers is part of living in a built up area. Children are allowed to play in their own gardens and people can cut their lawns when it suits them, it’s usually only for a short period of time, not hours at a time. If I wanted silence outside, I’d go and live in the country, but then I’d hear tractors and agricultural noise!

Eventually the boys playing in the garden will run out of balls to kick over! Once a lawn is cut, the lawn mower will stop. Other noises will still be there, traffic, planes, children playing, people having bbqs, dogs barking, music through open windows or police sirens.

Pepper59 Sun 17-Apr-22 16:33:55

Balls don't really bother me. I don't get them often and usually just give them back over the fence when I'm in the garden. As another poster said, the teens will grow up and move on eventually, it won't be forever. I live in a place where it is family homes, so I try to make allowances. I'd rather the neighbours were having fun than fighting.

Redhead56 Sun 17-Apr-22 16:44:25

I do sympathise with you there’s nothing worse than the constant sound of a football against a fence. My dad wouldn’t allow a football kicked outside our house. My brothers could not play in our garden with a ball. If the neighbours boys ball came into the garden. My dad would put something sharp through it then send it back.

Chardy Sun 17-Apr-22 16:49:12

Casdon

It wouldn’t bother me to be honest, I like to hear people having a good time. They won’t be doing it for many more years anyway if they are teenagers, so it’s best to just put up with it, it’s not like they are doing it deliberately to annoy you.

I’d be more annoyed to hear somebody cutting their grass on Easter Sunday, so maybe leave that until tomorrow?

We've had neighbours regularly drinking with friends to the wee small hours, obviously get more pickled and louder, sometimes from mid-afternoon. Not sure my generosity of spirit lasted long then.
Intrusive noise is intrusive. And as a teacher, I know teenagers have to be taught to have consideration for other people. My neighbours' parents must have missed that memo.

lixy Sun 17-Apr-22 16:54:07

I'm sorry it is annoying for you and as you have made it clear that you don't like balls coming into your garden they should do their best to avoid it.
Stick to your Monday rule as it has been agreed between you.

I used to take a photo of any damage to a plant caused by a ball coming into the garden so neighbours could see what happened. (Whole row of sunflower seedlings taken out in one bounce once).

BlueBelle Sun 17-Apr-22 16:54:37

Breaking the ball on purpose is just plain mean, totally mean

And if you weren’t allowed to play ball in the garden that’s harsh and controlling behaviour, gardens are for kids to play in if you have kids and people to tend or sit in if it’s adults only To only give balls back on Mondays is pretty mean too

And original poster didn’t say anything about balls banging on the fence just about them coming over the fence redhead
Live and let live we share the world with kids and with lawn mower owners

LOUISA1523 Sun 17-Apr-22 17:40:53

I've been in my present home for 6 years...probably had ball kicked over about 3 or 4 times ( got an 11 and 9 year old one side uf us) ...it would piss me off if it happened every day...and if it damaged any of my plants I would be really pissed....I spend a lot of time and money on my garden

Hithere Sun 17-Apr-22 17:53:59

About Easter sunday, not everybody celebrates the same religious holidays.

Redhead56 Sun 17-Apr-22 18:13:39

I didn't say I agree with what my dad did it was mean. He didn't tolerate footballs especially in his veg garden.
The OP is stressed and her peace of mind is more important than any football.

25Avalon Sun 17-Apr-22 18:48:05

Haven’t they got a local park where they could go and smash the football around to their heart’s content without upsetting the neighbours? The back garden is ok for little kids but not fully grown teenagers. The power with which they kick the ball will damage fences and plants, not to mention if op gets hit.

Hithere Sun 17-Apr-22 18:50:07

"The OP is stressed and her peace of mind is more important than any football."

The other family could say that their teenagers burning their energy is worth their peace of mind.

Curlywhirly Sun 17-Apr-22 19:03:17

Oh it wouldn't bother me in the least, I'd just throw the balls back when I saw them on my lawn (no making them wait until Monday). I also don't object to people mowing the grass or jet washing or strimming, all things that have to be done. Live and let live, life's too short to get het up about such trivialities.

BlueBelle Sun 17-Apr-22 19:17:58

I’ve told this tale before but it’s worth telling again
My next door neighbour when my three children were young teens was a 90 year old lady on her own as they hit mid plus teens they wanted a house party and we agreed to go out for the night
I went to the old lady next door and told her my teens were having a party and gave her my phone number and said if there’s too much noise don’t hesitate to ring me I m only up the road
Her answer which I ve never forgotten
“My dear I love to hear their noise it tells me I m still alive”

Curlywhirly Sun 17-Apr-22 19:42:09

BlueBelle I was lucky to have a similar old lady as my neighbour; she was 90 and she'd never had children. When mine were young I worried that she might not like their noise - when I had a word with her about them, she just said that she loved to hear them playing as she was alone and it made her feel safe to hear that there was someone in next door. Our boys loved her and chatted to her often, it was a very sad day when through ill-health she had to go in a home.