Feeling inconsequential.

@ Redhead56

It’s not independent if grandparents if they were planning to use my house though is it!

@ Hithere

He doesn’t need to co-ordinate a visit, my DIL had already done it, in fact suggested it. This has nothing to do with my sons.

Your family are just making their own arrangements independent of grandparents.
My son and daughter often make arrangements meet up etc with the children. It does not involve us we have our own times with them. Days out and little trips away are arranged for the grandchildren to get to know each other.
They all work and live a distance apart so they make these plans when they can.
I am pleased they are getting on it's very important to me that they don't drift apart.

I think every time my DC visit me it's obligation. I can feel hurt easily now that I am on my own. At least there are 2 of you!

Although 4 yr old DGD asked me on the facetime yesterday if I could collect her from nursery. Her best friend's gran collects bf and mine wants to have me at the school gate. So that was nice if impractical as she lives a couple of hours away.
I may do it anyway

I don't mean to offend anybody in the spectrum or with family or friends with it

I hate how it is used and the responsibility falls on the wife, yet again

Aspergers is a condition that can be managed and many people live with it

He holds a job, right?
Met his wife, got married, etc..

He can handle him the coordination of a visit and taking his child to visit his mother

My son has aspergers and finds relationships confusing at the best of times. ?

Forced out of obligation

In many families now, the dil takes care of relationships with her family, the son with his family - no more social secretary role for the dil

It is her time too, she has had a busy week, she could be tired, have to run errands, etc

Do you want this to be a forced out obligation family meeting?

Talk to your son. He will make the effort of coordinating this if it ranks high enough in his priority list.

Hithere

I think that’s a little harsh to be honest. Of course I want to see my DILs but obviously am disappointed at not seeing my grandsons and personally no I don’t see why she wouldn’t bring the little man to visit his granny and gramps, most people do.

Looks like it was also organized as a playdate for the cousins at the same time

I understand why they cancelled.

Not unreasonable for feeling sad, but unreasonable to still hope your dil was going to deliver her kids for your benefit.
You mention wanting to play with your gd but no mention of wanting to see your dil too.

Talk to your son and have him organize a family visit. Your son is the key here.

No unfortunately as my little grandson barely knows me and wants to be with mummy all of the time.
That would be lovely though.

Does her own thing!

Could you volunteer to look after your grandson to give dil a break? She could maybe bring him over & go off for a while( shopping? Hair appt? Nails? ) or maybe you could go to hers to babysit while she dies her own thing ?

crazyH
They don’t really know each other to be honest, they all keep themselves to themselves.

MoaningTurtle - unfortunately, our ds.i.l. don’t find our company exhilarating. I’m in a similar position….1 daughter and 2 ds.I.l. Even my own daughter tends to shy away from spending conversation time with me, unless we’re going shopping together. Just be glad that the 2 girls get on well. It’s important especially for your sons.
We are out of their loop, so to speak. As long as they’re happy………don’t be sad.