Should I clean friend's house?

MargotLedbetter With another 4 days to go, how are you and the dogs doing? Did they enjoy their bushing from you?

I would definitely clean it! If your friend is offended, then that is just too bad, I’m afraid. I couldn’t live like that, and mine is certainly no show home, as I’d rather be gardening, but it is clean!

Oldnproud

What did you do in the end, MargotLedbetter?

My thoughts exactly!

What did you do in the end, MargotLedbetter?

I would clean the rooms I had used.
Tell her you have tried to clean and tidy up after yourself.
After evening meal I automatically wipe cupboard fronts,sink,hob and tops.As the fridge emptys wash and wipe
Same with bathroom always wipe round after use.
I often gave my dear MIL house a spring clean whilst she was away on holiday and always left basic supplies and a colourful bunch of flowers in the lounge window.She said it was a lovely home coming.My MIL was a very loved best friend.

Saying that , she trusts you , which is a good thing

Just clean the rooms you are using, if she says anything, say something like I have cleaned up after myself . You have to be careful cleaning up rooms you don't have to use or go in though, as she may think you are going to be nosey & mooch around. If it was me , personally I would be extremely grateful, but not all are like me . Let us know the out come please ... yes I am nosey ?

Yes - agree with others. Clean the bits you need to make your stay bearable. Your health takes priority. Again, after my mother had her cataracts done, she too was mortified at the state of her house. She literally just could not see the dust and dirt that had accumulated.

MargotLedbetter I can understand how you are suffering, My DD used to suffer badly when her friend, who had a cat at her house, came for a sleep over here.
I hope you slept better since you vacuumed. I’d just say if anything is said, that you cleaned up after yourself and leave it as that.

MargotLedbetter I think you must be a lovely friend to have. Not only are you looking after the dogs and doing some cleaning (without jumping up and down and making a fuss about it even though it must have been a bit of a shock to arrive to an obviously dirty house) but you're concerned for your friend's feelings. I hope your friend is as kind to you

(Although it's true I wouldn't be too impressed at being discussed on social media, if I ever found out about it ?)

No, you should not clean her house. Doing so might well cause offence.

Cleaning the kitchen work-top, sink, fridge, cooker top and oven, as you presumably are using them to prepare your own and the dog's food is fine and I would include the bathroom facilites too.

If your friend mentions that you have cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, say pleasantly, that you didn't want her to come home to your mess and leave it at that.

Leave the rest.

Well you must be back in your own house by now , ?

I bet she's hoping you'll get stuck in and she'll return to a palace.

people know if they're living in a tip. I would stop visiting a dirty house.

I would do the bathrooms, toilets and bedrooms and just leave the rest tidy. I wouldn’t be doing skirting boards, windows or high up dusting. I’d make sure all the dishes were clean and in the cupboards and wipe down the sink etc which I am sure you would do anyway. Say nothing.

I think I would be mildly surprised that someone would stay in my house for ten days with dogs and not need to do some basic housework.
But I would be mortified if said friend discussed the details of my messy house and my lack of housekeeping skills on the internet.

I think I'd get rid of the worst of it Margot such as the dust bunnies and excessive dog hair. The sticky handles would make me cringe too. I loathe housework with a passion but like to keep a modicum of cleanliness where it matters such as the kitchen and bathroom, and where it shows - hall and sitting room. She probably won't notice so she won't be offended. Hope you feel better soon.

I agree with that it could be eyesight related. When I last had an eye test I was shocked to be told I needed glasses, I didn't realise that my eyesight had deteriorated so much.
Once I had my glasses I was horrified at the state of my home, I was so embarrassed that visitors had been in my home.
If I were in your shoes I would clean, nothing offensive about helping out a friend.

I would clean the rooms you use, and not mention it when she comes back. She maybe can't see the fluff and pet hair, and if she's gone for more than a couple of days she probably won't even remember how it looked when she left. My guess is she can't see it, or she would almost certainly have said something before she went away. Take some Piriton (if you can find any now with all the shortages)!

I agree with the posters who advise just cleaning what you need to for your own wellbeing and not telling her. If your friend has vision problems she may not even notice. If she does you can make light of it and say you just "did a quick flick around" where there were some pet hairs.

Awwwww your poor friend not knowing the house is in such need for cleaning, if it is her poor eyesight.

Yes, i would clean what is necessary and not upset her by informing her.

Agree with Redhead
She is the one who should be feeling awkward, not you.

Hetty58

MargotLedbetter:

'I know a lot of people would be dreadfully offended'

I'd be delighted - would you like to stay here?

And me please ?

I would be not staying there take the pet to yours and be in your own environment. The last thing I would be doing is cleaning her house. I would give the pet a good spray and brush up before hand. Suggest on your friends return she uses kennels in future if allergies are your concern.
I don’t think poor eyesight is a good enough excuse for a dirty unkempt home. My friend and neighbour was in her eighties with cataracts her house was immaculate and she cleaned it herself. Your friend has issues regarding hygiene and it’s not up to you to sort it out.

Janamax

I also wonder why if you have allergies, why are you looking after her dog?

I'm allergic to cat hair. I'm not allergic to dogs. My friend used to have a cat, which died before lockdown in 2020. But the cat hair still seems to be around because I know I'm reacting to it, and possibly to all the dust and fluff around.

You seem upset (and quite aggressive) about this. Can you tell us your thinking?

Germanshepherdsmum
Yes, I know that feeling, but I also know that if a friend was coming to stay in my home, to do me a favour, I would clean it anyway.