Gransnet forums

AIBU

To think it's sad but normal that many friendships drift

(56 Posts)
Cabbie21 Thu 12-May-22 17:04:57

I think you just have to move on, make new friends.

I have a number of “ situational friends” over the years, three from school days, though we have not been in touch since Covid. I had no reply when I tried to make contact.
I have a group of friends from university and we have kept in touch, met up occasionally. We just pick up where we left off.

Nowadays I have acquaintances I know through choirs or church.

Audi10 Thu 12-May-22 16:20:10

I agree that sometimes the people that you work with although you think of each other as friends when you leave the workplace you then find after a few years those “friends” were nothing more than work colleagues! I have a small circle of what I term as real close friends whom I’ve had in my life for over 25 years

MerylStreep Thu 12-May-22 16:15:30

So where would we be if we kept in touch with every friend we’d ever had ?
Can’t be done.

Kate1949 Thu 12-May-22 16:09:29

I'm an odd bod. I don't feel the need for friends. Maybe it's because I'm close to my sisters. They are the same. Of course we have friends, but it wouldn't bother me if I didn't have mine. Sounds awful I know.

Lark123 Thu 12-May-22 16:03:56

I agree Vintagejazz, re your assessment of some friendships.

Unfortunately, unless you really click with someone, the friends you meet at school, work, etc...don't typically last.

There's actually a name for these types of friendships: 'situational' friendships; bound, as you said, by seeing one another only in certain situations.

Typically most people only have, or feel the need for just a few true and close friends.

You can be friendly with many, but real friends with only a few, especially hard on the young, and the elderly, in these days of mobility and change.

Vintagejazz Thu 12-May-22 15:51:28

A friend was telling me this morning that her daughter is upset that her group of mum friends don't see each other much anymore. They met when they all had new babies about 6 years ago and were very close, but some of the women have returned to work and one has moved away. Apparently she's feeling a bit abandoned.

I sympathise but AIBU to think that some friendships are just of their time, and once you are no longer bound together by school, work, living on the same road etc many friends just grow apart, or life gets in the way and the friendship drifts.

Lifelong friends are the valuable exception really.