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AIBU

Is it appropriate?

(56 Posts)
4allweknow Fri 20-May-22 10:22:49

Dear Daughter died 2019. For the funeral and as per her wishes I bought an outfit I considered she would approve of. DH died last week and his wishes basically the same as DD. The outfit was for me quite expensive and has not been worn since. Would it be considered insensitive to wear the exact same out to DHs funeral.

Puzzled Sat 18-Jun-22 12:05:22

You have suffered two severe losses.
If both DD and DH liked the outfit, it is a tribute to them to wear it.
Quite often, when a member of our club dies, when we attend, a club sweater is worn, as a tribute from the other club members.
It is means of showing that their memory and pleasures are honoured.

M0nica Mon 13-Jun-22 13:07:50

I am sorry for your loss, both daughter and husband.

The last thing anyone is thinking about a funeral is what you are wearing. I have never seen funerals as being an event you buy new clothes for, unless you have nothing appropriate.

Georgesgran Sun 12-Jun-22 22:26:17

Completely appropriate. Very sorry ? my deepest sympathy.

Shelflife Sun 12-Jun-22 22:14:04

I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with everyone here, you must wear the same outfit ,I think it is a most appropriate thing to do. It will also relieve you of the task of searching for a new outfit - please don't spend any time thinking about this . You have an outfit you are comfortable in so do wear it again.

Redhead56 Sat 21-May-22 09:35:17

Wear whatever makes you comfortable at this most difficult time and take care of yourself.?

Smileless2012 Sat 21-May-22 09:20:11

My sincere condolences for the loss of of your DH and your D. Wear what ever will help you through this difficult day flowers.

cornergran Fri 20-May-22 20:14:47

I’m sorry for your loss 4allweknow. Another here thinking it’s very appropriate to wear the same outfit.

buffyfly9 Fri 20-May-22 19:49:08

Wear the same outfit, it is a lovely link between the three of you. My condolences for your great lossthanks.

TwiceAsNice Fri 20-May-22 16:51:23

I think it would be very appropriate to wear it again for al kinds of reasons. So sorry for thanksboth your losses

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 20-May-22 16:15:00

My Condolences to you? and yes it’s totally appropriate, especially as your DH approved of it.

DiamondLily Fri 20-May-22 15:33:19

I would think it completely ok to wear the same outfit, to the funerals of two people you loved.

Condolences on your loss.?

Pantglas2 Fri 20-May-22 15:20:55

You’re following both their wishes, who’s going to give you a hard time for doing so?

Iam64 Fri 20-May-22 15:18:14

Sincere condolences and yes, as everyone else says, it seems entirely appropriate to wear the outfit

Nannee49 Fri 20-May-22 15:09:13

Totally appropriate 4allweknow may I add my condolences tooflowers.

Your lovely GN name brings to mind the beautiful recording - For all we know by the Detroit Spinners?

jaylucy Fri 20-May-22 15:07:16

I see no problem in wearing the same outfit. If you wish to, you could also change a little thing - different blouse, change of handbag, shoes, add an item of jewellery that has sentimental value between you and your husband if you have something.
I doubt if anyone will notice what you are wearing beyond perhaps the colour.
Please accept my condolences at this sad time.

AreWeThereYet Fri 20-May-22 15:01:17

My condolences too. I would also wear it. Along with something like a scarf in my daughters favourite colour and a ring or brooch given by my husband.

flowers

grandtanteJE65 Fri 20-May-22 14:58:25

I have one black skirt and jacket that I air whenever I have to attend a funeral.

Like Tanith, I think it is a lovely thought that you would wear the same for both these funerals.

I am truly sorry for your dreadful bereavements.

Marydoll Fri 20-May-22 14:54:45

My condolences, 4allweknow I am another one, who thinks it is highly appropriate to wear it. ?

BlueBelle Fri 20-May-22 14:49:25

A big hug from me what a sad time for you I m another vote for yes yes do it please, a family link linking you to them both and them to each other
A lovely idea
Thinking of you ?

SachaMac Fri 20-May-22 14:07:11

Yes wear it, it would be a lovely tribute to them both. So sorry you are going through this flowers

Nannagarra Fri 20-May-22 13:56:56

I think it would be highly appropriate to wear the outfit and would like to send my condolences at your sad loss.

ixion Fri 20-May-22 13:32:46

Please wear it, if it brings you comfort. A lovely link reuniting you all.
Please accept my condolences at this very sad time?

silverlining48 Fri 20-May-22 13:27:16

I agree with all the above, yes definitely, and send sincere condolences at this very sad time. flowers

Hithere Fri 20-May-22 13:21:21

So sorry for your loss

Totally appropriate

Even if it was not considered so, you have bigger fish to fry right now than thinking about this
You do you!

PollyDolly Fri 20-May-22 12:58:50

Sincere condolences at the loss of your DH. The outfit you wore for your daughters funeral will be perfect for your DH funeral.